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Living overseas

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Original poster

Anyone move back 'home' after a long time overseas?

12 replies

Lauracorin · 19/02/2008 18:26

We are contemplating a move to Scotland after around twenty years in Asia. I'm English and husband is from the States. My boys are 7 and 11, and have never lived in the West.

If you've moved back, or contemplated it, what made you want to? Was the whole family in agreement? What preparations did you make (practical, emotional)? How did it go?

Thanks

Laura

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ShinyDysonHereICome · 19/02/2008 18:29

I moved back to the UK after a few years in Singapore and struggled a bit the first year- HUGE shock coming back here. For one thing you forget the cost of everything, the severity of the weather in comparison to Asia....I could go on and on!

A year later though I was happy to be 'home' although I honestly felt homesick for Asia for a long time and really missed the friendliness of the locals.

madmommy6 · 19/02/2008 18:31

I wish we could get as far as possible from the uk.lol

expatinscotland · 19/02/2008 18:45

DH is reading this - he is Scots and I am American. He says, 'Are they mad? Go to the US first!'

happychappy · 19/02/2008 18:52

I haven't but have two friends who have. One happy as a sandboy and the other moved back to Italy after a year (couldn't settle).

Original poster
Lauracorin · 19/02/2008 18:53

Expatinscotland - well, husband's company is Scottish and with the look of the economies in the UK and the US, we are not keen on jumping to a new company at the moment.

Laura

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expatinscotland · 19/02/2008 18:54

Well, if you're set on it you can give it a try.

Having been away for that long, however, I don't think I'd come back until my kids had flown the nest. But it depends on the child. Some don't do moves so well.

Earlybird · 19/02/2008 18:58

When was the last time you and the family were in Scotland? How frequently have you visited and for what duration? Do you have real friends or close family relationships there?

Just wondering if you have a clear idea of what exactly you'd be moving back to. And ime, you need to expect to take a couple of years to settle fully.

Original poster
Lauracorin · 19/02/2008 19:06

The children are part of the reason for coming. The eldest in particular has a strong need for stability. He hates moving house and we would never be able to afford to buy a place in Hong Kong. In his first seven years we had to move six times (landlords jacked up the rent, went bankrupt, sold the place......)

We are thinking that moving before they are teenagers is better, but I don't know.

Laura

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Original poster
Lauracorin · 19/02/2008 19:10

Earlybird - no, we don't have friends or family in Scotland. But we only have one or two where we are now. After so long living overseas, our friends and family are scattered all over the world. I can't think of a single city in the world where we would have more than one or two friends/family members.

We'll be coming on scouting trips before we make the decision. We definitely need to know more about what we are getting into - you're right.

Laura

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Maveta · 19/02/2008 19:20

From my own experience as a child whose parents moved frequently but settled for our pre-teen/teen years, I would say you are right to be thinking about doing it now or waiting til they leave home. I was 11 when we moved back to the UK and adapted fine, my older sister was 14 and struggled considerably more. Individual temperaments undoubtedly played a part but she was also dumped straight into O level years in a system she was not used to, whereas I started in the first year of secondary school.

re. the family being in agreement; I know when we left the states to return to the UK it was a case of my mum practically packing up the house and telling my dad he could stay or go but we were leaving (taste of the dramatic, and she hated the USA). And as kids we were never asked our opinion, and it wouldn´t have occurred to me that we had a say, but I think it was always well explained to us.

snotbuster · 19/02/2008 19:29

I moved back to the UK from the US after 8 years away. At the time I was single and childless so in a very different situation to yours. I missed my US friends much more than anything (well, and the sunshine as I'd been in California). I felt very bereft for at least the first year I was back here. Although I moved to a familiar city in England, so that I'd know people, it was still hard as I'd missed so much of their lives.
Five years, a baby and (nearly) a degree later all I can say is that you can't ever really come 'back' - look upon it as moving forward in a place you haven't been to for a while (does that make sense?). Don't assume anything will be the same - you'll be building brand new lives even though it may be where you're 'from'.

Original poster
Lauracorin · 19/02/2008 19:50

"all I can say is that you can't ever really come 'back' - look upon it as moving forward in a place you haven't been to for a while (does that make sense?). Don't assume anything will be the same - you'll be building brand new lives even though it may be where you're 'from'."

That's a very good point. We did actually spend two years in America and three in London in the middle of our time in Asia. In both places we felt almost as foreign as we do in Asia. As least in China I speak Mandarin, whereas my elderly Texas parents-in-law still need a translator when I talk to them

Laura

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