How do you say to someone in French…

[Forsythiaforest234]

“I don’t like people who blow hot and cold”

(I’m female and this is about a female friend, not romantic relationship.)

I could rely on Google translate but wanted to check, as this could be potentially “difficult” territory if I get this wrong!
😃😃

'Alloo.

I do not, err, like people oo bloo 'ot and cold.

😄😄

You read my mind... 🙂

I'm laughing at the image of someone breathing fire and then breathing ice 😅place marking for the answer!

Bonjour, je n’ais pas personnes qui souffler chaude et froide.

Been a long time since I did French so someone smarter may be able to correct me!

According to Google translate….

They have the same idiom in France.

https://fr.wiktionary.org/wiki/souffler_le_chaud_et_le_froid#:~:text=Locution%20verbale,-souffler%20le%20chaud&text=(Sens%20figur%C3%A9)%20%C3%8Atre%20ambigu%2C,%C3%A0%20tour%20d'avis%20contraires.

It’s France! You have to have a loong conversation about it.

« le truc c’est que je ne sais jamais comment me placer par rapport à elle »

« ça devient un peu compliquée, je me sens un peu Antigone, j’ai l’impression que c’est tout ou rien, ça me perturbe »

« soit tu t’investis, soit tu désengages, ton chaud froid permanent ça me bloque là »

« je sais bien que tout n’est pas un long fleuve tranquille mais je ne sais jamais comment me placer par rapport à toi, j’ai besoin de constance, qu’elle quelle soit »

« c’est trop ambigu pour moi là, la clim réversible c’est trop energivore a gérer pour moi.. »

@burgledinParis has nailed it 🤣

You can't be too concise in French or people think you're rude! I'm quite blunt in English but can get away with it - not so in French!

Thank you everyone! I wasn't aware they had the same idiom (evidently!)

I appreciate everyone's contributions! 😀

Thank you especially to burgledinParis - that gives me a lot of options!

Yep that’s the one!!

@Forsythiaforest234 you’re welcome!

it really depends on what type of friend she is - but you’ll have to talk through it with her and explain your « ressenti » as @AnotherEmma said - if you’re blunt she’ll think you’re just being rude of having a bad day, and if she’s a real Frenchie she’ll probably just brush it off … and continue in exactly the same way.

In French we say you have to avoid the « Tu qui tues » the you that kills all discussion. You’re best starting with a « je me sens comme ci/ comme ça quand blabla arrive. Par exemple quand cette fois là bla-bla-bla je ne savais pas ou me mettre. J’ai besoin de savoir que je peux compter sur les gens qui m’entourent, je me demande si on est ami.e.s ou juste copain.e.s, est ce que je peux compter sur toi pour être présent/dispo pour moi?

I’d add that recently after 20 years here I got into hot water at work for emailing a collègue - I’m slightly more senior than her but we’re both top management - I though she was not pulling her weight after recurrent fuck ups. She said multiple emails beating majorly around the bush after a latest fuck up of her causing at work.

My reply email said word for word -

X,
this is your job, this is not my job, I have picked up the pieces, but in the future we can avoid this if you do your job. If you are having issues you can let me know and I will intervienne. I do not like having to play firefighter and would appreciate not having to without warning in the future.
Burgled

She told mu French collègues who were shocked and saw this as a total declaration of war against her. They all explained I had have started with my feelings, and should not have mentioned her shortcomings in doing her job.

they really are touchy on any form of direct criticism… but they do listen if you tell them the right way …

She can be quite blunt and direct herself BurgledinParis so I doubt we'll be entering in to a philosophical discussion 😀

Thanks again and and yes, I think I am happier making an indirect statement in general rather than a personal accusatory one, even though they amount to pretty much the same thing!

@Forsythiaforest234

good luck!

Thank you!

So true!

Oh I totally don't agree. I find French people much more direct. They have no trouble saying no, whereas in British English we tend to be much more oh I'm so sorry but ...

C'est un peu la douche écossaise là, et ça devient lourd.

I remember a colleague telling me that “lui… il a les deux visages…” and a bit more. Meaning he’s a 2 faced do and so. Not quite the same, but good one to know!

La douche ecossaise? That made me

@Cormoran J'adore!

Can I recommend this book ?

https://www.amazon.fr/Ciel-Blake-Dictionnaire-Français-Anglais-expressions/dp/2913588166/ref=pd_lpo_3?pd_rd_w=HtkYY&content-id=amzn1.sym.1bec6179-e78a-4900-91c1-a0cbdfe0e062&pf_rd_p=1bec6179-e78a-4900-91c1-a0cbdfe0e062&pf_rd_r=6SGXANJ35KDSKC3K34QR&pd_rd_wg=cU0cj&pd_rd_r=d122ec23-84e0-4f89-938d-1b90e60534a4&pd_rd_i=2913588166&psc=1

However you tell the friend, you must start with...

"Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once..."

(probably showing my age there)