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Living overseas

Whether you're considering emigrating or an expat abroad, you'll find likeminds on this forum.

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Original poster

Move to Australia from uk wwyd

31 replies

Easterbunnytimenow · 07/04/2023 22:49

My husband has the opportunity of a job move from uk to Australia, (coast Brisbane) they will pay for visas and relocation and costs etc.
I love the idea of a big adventure but not sure if brave enough to do it.
we have three children 3,7and 9 and I feel so guilty pulling them from their schools and friends.
we have family but my side is fairly strained and we don’t see a lot of my parents or my brother and his kids.
we have a great relationship with his parents and his sister and her wife.
we have friends good friends who we would miss.
I work part time in a job I’ve had for 15 years but don’t particularly enjoy it anymore and would like a change even if we don’t move.
just for info we would rent out our house in uk just in case.
I’m not sure what I need, I guess I’m just after opinions on whether you’d up root your whole life or not if this opportunity came along… thanks

OP posts:

SkyandSurf · 07/04/2023 22:58

Brisbane is amazing for families. So many great things to do with small children. The people are friendly, the weather is beautiful. The schools are good.

You'd be mad not to go IMO.

What an adventure. The children will adapt.

atthebottomofthehill · 07/04/2023 23:07

If you can come back if you don't like it then what's the harm really?

Phoebo · 07/04/2023 23:25

If you have a good relationship with your husband, go for it. Just be aware that moving is lonely and isolating at first usually

DahliaBlue · 07/04/2023 23:31

Sounds great. Go for it!

CC4712 · 07/04/2023 23:36

Can you rent your current home out- so you have something in the UK if you want to move back?

My dad took a job in the Middle East when I was 8 and my brother was 4and we all moved. I know they were apprehensive, but I thought it was brilliant! Different to Brisbane because nearly all kids were ex-pats, but I have amazing memories, it broadened my view of the world and I don't recall any issues with school/fitting in etc- despite having a very different accent at the start.

Your children are still very young and will fit in fine. Have you checked what roles might be available to you? I'm sure there are several ex-pat type forums/chat available to ask others already living there. Yes- some things are more expensive than the UK and things are different. Equally, somethings are cheaper, generally pay is higher and work life balance is much better.

Eaglesqueak · 08/04/2023 06:25

We were in the same position 20 years ago. Our kids were 5,3 and 1. We decided that we couldn’t regret giving it a go and the UK wasn’t going anywhere, so we went. I’m not going to lie, it was hard to begin with - it’s pretty isolating at first (none of ours were in school, so it’d be a bit easier for you, I think) and it did take a while for me to settle. The rest of the family took to it like ducks to water and I found playgroups and baby gyms etc to give me some routine.
After four years I definitely didn’t want to leave, but we went back to uk for work reasons, but I made sure we had citizenship before we left. It took ages to settle back ‘home’ again!
We’re now on our third stint in Australia and I don’t think we’ll be moving back to the UK again.
Honestly, if I were you, I’d do it, as long as your marriage is strong (it’s not easy and you need to be strong together and if things fall apart, you wouldn’t find it very hard, if not impossible to take your children back to the UK if Australia is their primary residence, unless your husband agreed). It takes a huge leap of faith and some courage, but Australia is great and the lifestyle for children is so good. Ours used to come home from school and hop in the pool, or we’d head to the beach. They hardly watched tv unless it was to wind down after the day.
Come with your eyes open and know that it can easily take two years to settle and find good friends, but it’s so worth it even if you do end up going back. It gives your children a different perspective on life. There are lots of expat groups now which you can find via Fb and internet searches, so it’s much easier to find people you get on with.
You can always go back if you hate it here or miss people too much.
Good luck!

Eaglesqueak · 08/04/2023 06:33

You would find it hard, not wouldn’t

aholidaynotacarpark · 08/04/2023 06:40

It would be an amazing adventure. Brisbane is lovely.
Australia is more expensive than you think though so check out the cost of living.
I also found Australia to have a racist undercurrent due to it being not very culturally diverse. Their treatment of Aboriginals has historically been awful. I'd struggle to live there long term (I've had a couple of stints working there pre-kids)

BritInAus · 08/04/2023 07:24

If his work is covering the costs, I say go for it. Even if you position it (as a family) as a trial for say 2 years to see what you think? If it's not for you, you can return home easily, especially if you have a house to return to. And your kids will still be primary school age when you come back.

The only thing I'd be aware of (sure you are already) is the weather. I could never live in Brisbane because I hate humidity.

Yuja · 08/04/2023 07:28

I have moved countries twice with youngish kids. It takes a while to settle but both times we have all benefitted hugely. Go - you will have a great adventure and your DC will make new friends in no time.

VioletCandles · 08/04/2023 08:15

I would go for it. Brisbane is a great city that is well set up for family life with a lot of things to do and see.

You will obviously have to adjust to being away from family/friends and integrating yourself into new friendship groups. But with 3 kids under 10, you have easy opportunity to meet opportunity to meet other parents through school/playgroups etc easily. Plus your kids are still young enough to adjust to a different school and make new friends relatively easily.

DustyLee123 · 08/04/2023 08:18

My concern would be that your kids make a life there, and stay, but you might want to come back to the UK. Or what would happen if you and DH split up, who would live where.
Other than that, have an adventure.

Ishouldbeoutside · 08/04/2023 08:19

I have a friend there. She is desperate to come back to the UK. She finds the heat intolerable and hasn’t found it easy to make friends .She comes back every three years and spends all her time thinking about that to get her through.

Ishouldbeoutside · 08/04/2023 08:26

I should add that her kids have done well there and are happy.

MyFaceIsAnAONB · 08/04/2023 08:31

I’d be so tempted, but I think Australia is v expensive and people often think it’s going to be cheaper. Also quite a culture shock, when people expect it to be just a sunny UK. I too would feel guilty uprooting the kids and taking them away from my parents. Australia is FAR.

So tempting though and appeals to my YOLO side. Would you visit first?

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 08/04/2023 08:36

The only thing I'd be aware of (sure you are already) is the weather. I could never live in Brisbane because I hate humidity

Have family in Bris and would second that. Think of last summer for weeks on end with v high humidity. It helps that everything's airconditioned, but if you struggle with heat and/or humidity I'd think twice.

YellowGreenBlue · 08/04/2023 08:37

I agree with pp that long term my worry would be if I wanted to return to the UK and my kids didn't want to. I know you're uprooting them now, but they're currently a bit young to have as much of an opinion about it as they will in a few years.

dew141 · 08/04/2023 08:45

My friend emigrated to Sydney a few years ago (Australian wife) and really doesn't like it.

(His words not mine), there's a lack of culture, he finds the men quite misogynistic, he misses having European cities on his doorstep and he's found it hard to make good friendships.

He liked living in the city but is now a 2 hour drive away due to the cost of housing and feels quite isolated.

Flatandhappy · 08/04/2023 09:06

The lack of culture argument about Australia is tedious and incredibly ignorant, especially in Sydney. As the saying goes only boring people are bored. Yes, it is not Europe, you cannot be in another European city in a couple of hours (literally the only thing I miss about living in the UK), but there is SO much opera/theatre/art/great food and wine here. I saw Madame Butterfly performed with a background of Sydney Harbour a couple of weeks ago and there are few spectacles like it. The whole family are going to see Harry Potter and the Cursed Child in Melbourne this week, we saw an Irish jazz/blues singer in a small club in the city last night. Sorry to hijak OP but the ignorance pisses me off so much. We moved 17 years ago with three children, best thing we ever did. They have had an education we could never have afforded in England and a much better life in general. My two dyslexic boys were basically written off in the UK system, both have Masters degrees now and good jobs. Everyone I know in Brisbane loves it, it is a cool little city. Even if you do decide it is not for you long term go for the adventure!

dew141 · 08/04/2023 09:08

Just to be clear - the lack of culture were his words not mine, so I hope that's not aimed at me.

Although I can see where the misogyny comment came from as I've seen the same at times.

mrsplum2015 · 08/04/2023 09:36

Just saying Brisbane is not Sydney and the availability of culture won't be the same.
Misogyny and racism are definitely more prevalent as undercurrents in Australia also (I live in one of the smaller cities similar to Brisbane).
There are pros and cons but my experience of australIa isn't the utopia others seem to experience.
Give me london any day !!

BattleofBeamfleot · 08/04/2023 10:02

I think you definitely have to go in with your eyes open. Being a foreigner is pretty difficult sometimes, you're always watching what other mums are doing to fit in and make sure your kids don't miss out, and you have so many hurdles to jump before you can even start work or see a GP.

It also takes time to settle somewhere- don't expect to feel at home in the country for the first three years or so. Then it starts to shift, and by ten years you'll find you have lost touch with home so much more that the new country is definitely your REAL home - by losing touch I mean with the culture, like the in jokes, minor celebrities, what they're all watching on television etc. The internet helps a lot with that though, but the time difference is hard.

I would go in a heartbeat BUT for me it makes sense: I have family in three Australian states and have been several times, and I'm not British anyway so even though I've been here my whole adult life, I'm used to being slightly foreign and having to work harder to find out what to do for children, work etc. I come from a country that has a health insurance system so it wouldn't particularly bother me to go back to that, although I've deeply appreciated having my babies on the NHS.

If DH would ever consider it I would go, even though my career is just taking off and it would probably hurt me professionally. And I'd still mourn not being able to go back for the weddings, funerals, milestone birthdays, new babies of the people I love. It's just so far.

SD1978 · 08/04/2023 10:16

Will they find you somewhere to live? Brisbane rental market at the moment is absolutely crazy, with a really low non occupancy rate and multiple people all bidding on very few properties for rent. That would be the only downside for me. The weather and opportunities there are amazing. The kids are young enough they will adapt and I'd rather try and decide no- if it's an option to then relocate back home, than always wonder what if.

Isoqueen · 10/04/2023 08:03

Brisbane is lovely. A bit hot in the Summer for me ( we live down in Melbourne) but really you could live up in the hills if you wanted or in a cooler area. Ignore the rubbish about racism because that is what it is. Rubbish. Australia is very, very, multicultural these days and in my experience far less racist than the UK.

SarahJ167 · 05/09/2023 14:33

My partner is currently going out to perth on a working holiday visa.
myself and my 4 year old child are looking to come mid December, can someone please help or point me in the direction of what visa to apply for.
i would love to come out and work in Australia but im unsure how to go about this

any help would be much appreciated

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