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Living overseas

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Original poster

Living in Saudi Arabia

33 replies

Pineapple35 · 16/02/2023 09:57

Husband has been approached about a job in Saudi. Financial it is a very good opportunity and for our family it feels like the right thing to do.
Can any one who has lived there give me any feedback?
Thanks 😊

OP posts:
NashvilleQueen · 16/02/2023 10:04

For me this would be an outright no regardless of how much money it may mean. An absolute monarchy where human rights and, in particular, women's rights are routinely suppressed and violated would be no home for me.

I appreciate you may have an easier time as an ex-pat but that doesn't go anywhere near answering the moral issues.

KangarooKenny · 16/02/2023 10:05

As a woman, and if you have female children, I wouldn’t be going.

Pootleplum · 16/02/2023 10:11

I agree it's a very repressive and frightening regime for women and your life will be severely restricted and curtailed. You will not be allowed to work or go out and about in the way you will have been used to and it could be very isolating.

ilovebrie8 · 16/02/2023 15:25

Not for all the tea in China! no money would entice me...it's a horrific regime and I wouldn't go near the place...

icelolly12 · 16/02/2023 15:30

I'd rather not live somewhere my head can be chopped off or I can be stoned to death.

Totalwasteofpaper · 16/02/2023 15:44

Honestly you really need to do your research and go in with your eyes open.

My brother lives there right now.
He has lived and worked in a huge array of muslim countries and is generally very positively disposed to the culture.
He is in KSA for "the money". It is not fake dry like sudan etc. It's dry dry.

The isolation and oppression is real even in his privileged bubble at a private university he is often lonely.

Think on this:

  • He could not leave the campus for 5 months due to incorrect paperwork. Ie virtually house arrest (This is as someone who is fairly senior and was headhunted to lead a department 😵‍💫)
  • He needs permission from his employer to leave the country - this includes returning to the UK. He literally cant leave unless they say so.

He wouldnt dream of having me my DD or DM visit. Let alone live there.

Sidge · 16/02/2023 15:51

Not in a million years. Lived there as a child for 5 years. Ok I admit it was a long time ago but I doubt it’s changed significantly.

The reason they pay the big bucks is otherwise no one with any sense would work there. Horrific place.

Doowop1919 · 16/02/2023 15:55

I really wouldn't. Horrid place.

RedPandaFluff · 16/02/2023 15:57

Having been out to Saudi for some work trips, I would say categorically no. Or at least, not on a permanent basis, anyway. KSA is trying to convince the world that it's moving forward, but the reality is slow to catch up with the PR - women make up a tiny proportion of the workforce and the women I did see were wearing full abaya/headscarves/face coverings, and sat in a separate screened-off part of the office (so they could remove headscarves etc. without male view). As a woman I wasn't allowed to extend my hand for a handshake, however I was permitted to accept a handshake if instigated by a man.

Would you be living in a compound, @OP?

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 16/02/2023 16:00

Heck no! The restrictions on your life as a woman there would make it far from ideal.

Their humans rights record is horrific in the extreme..

MaverickGooseGoose · 16/02/2023 16:00

I lived in the ME for many years, no way would I live in Saudi

JustMaggie · 16/02/2023 16:04

I worked there in a hospital many years ago in Aramco. I was young and just starting out and it was hard to look away from the very generous salary they were offering me. It was ok inside Aramco but truly awful outside. I would never recommend anyone go there. I only lasted 9 months and then I caved and came back here. If your husband's job is in Dhahran or Aramco, you could consider living in Bahrain and driving across the causeway. Bahrain is better than Saudi, especially for women.

Taciturn · 16/02/2023 16:05

I lived in Saudi for five years and loved it. AMA
A trailing spouse cannot work, with a few exceptions (teaching, nursing), so the arrangement works best with a young family. Quality of life is very high, and British school was excellent (although we didnt appreciatehiw good until we returned). It does make a different what part of Saudi. Riyadh is much more conservative than Dharhan which is only a 45mins drive to Bahrain (and a 🍸)

Taciturn · 16/02/2023 16:08

I would also add that I felt much safer and better treated as a women in Saudi than I do in the UK. They hold us in higher respect.
Take a look at the news here and think how someone from overseas might judge us based on our news (transwomen rapists in female prisons eg)

viques · 16/02/2023 16:12

Taciturn · 16/02/2023 16:08

I would also add that I felt much safer and better treated as a women in Saudi than I do in the UK. They hold us in higher respect.
Take a look at the news here and think how someone from overseas might judge us based on our news (transwomen rapists in female prisons eg)

At least we don’t get members of our royal family murdering journalists, even if they are tempted to

HoldingTheDoor · 16/02/2023 16:13

I would also add that I felt much safer and better treated as a women in Saudi than I do in the UK. They hold us in higher respect.

Do they really?

www.hrw.org/news/2019/01/30/saudi-arabia-10-reasons-why-women-flee

Bansheed · 16/02/2023 16:19

This is not the place to ask. One of my closest women friend's works in Riyadh. She is senior, Australian and working on her dream project. Look for FB groups

Taciturn · 16/02/2023 16:20

I'm not playing headline top trumps here. I'm giving the OP the benefit of my personal experience. lf they would like it.

Do you think those from overseas should judge the UK on headlines of Prince Andrew or british parenting from the story of Baby P?

Original poster
Pineapple35 · 16/02/2023 16:21

Thank you for your response 😊

OP posts:
LadybirdsAreFab · 16/02/2023 16:22

I think it depends a little bit on where, my husband is at NEOM and is enjoying it. Our daughter & I are in Dubai (and have been for 21 years, she's 13). We see him every 2 weeks or so, it works for us. The money is good but he misses us. No problems with exiting the country, he has a Saudi visa which should have taken 2 weeks but was done in 2 days. He does live in a compound where they pay for accommodation & meals/gym/pool/transport to the office. It's one of the fastest growing countries in terms of business & hotels/tourism. Big changes have happened and there are many more to come. It will always remain a Muslim country though, Dubai is a Muslim country but the laws are changing here as well.

ChatSamosa · 16/02/2023 16:26

There's is a really long post about living in SA on AMA.

Original poster
Pineapple35 · 16/02/2023 16:27

ChatSamosa · 16/02/2023 16:26

There's is a really long post about living in SA on AMA.

Could you post a link please?

OP posts:
HoldingTheDoor · 16/02/2023 16:28

Do you think those from overseas should judge the UK on headlines of Prince Andrew or british parenting from the story of Baby P?

No to an extent(though I think the handling of the former by the Monarchy does say a few things about the nation) but do I think countries should be judged on their laws and how those laws actively discriminate against women? Absolutely, and that's what the article discusses, hardly the equivalent of judging a country by a few individuals. And I know that some small progress has been made and I share your concerns re prisons here.

ChatSamosa · 16/02/2023 16:34

@Pineapple35

I live in Saudi Arabia. AMA! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/AMA/3312838-I-live-in-Saudi-Arabia-AMA

ChungusBoi · 16/02/2023 16:40

JustMaggie · 16/02/2023 16:04

I worked there in a hospital many years ago in Aramco. I was young and just starting out and it was hard to look away from the very generous salary they were offering me. It was ok inside Aramco but truly awful outside. I would never recommend anyone go there. I only lasted 9 months and then I caved and came back here. If your husband's job is in Dhahran or Aramco, you could consider living in Bahrain and driving across the causeway. Bahrain is better than Saudi, especially for women.

This is worth looking into if it’s a possibility for you. A good friend from the UK lives in Bahrain and is very happy there.