Moving to Dubai - practical questions!

[DaysofHoney]

Evening everyone,

DH is about to accept a job offer in Dubai, hooray! We have lived in the region previously and know Dubai reasonably well, so this isn’t a ‘should we move’ thread, it’s a ‘how/where/when thread’!

It looks likely that DH will go out just before Easter, with the kids and I joining him after summer in time for the new school year. We should be able to do some school tours if we come visit in May. Does the school half term there coincide with UK one generally?

I have a few questions on getting ourselves set up that it would be fab if anyone can help with? My last post on this board resulted in the creation of a long-standing beautiful friendship in our last country, which I’ve tried to pay forward over the years.

1. This is a medium/long term move for us. We are fed up with UK and will probably want to put down some roots in UAE, buying a villa at some point. Kids will finish primary (DCs are 8 and 6) and we hope, do high school there. Until we’ve saved the deposit for a villa, we’d like to live in an apartment. Can I pls ask for recommendations on good communities with 3BR apartment options? Ideally with a pool… We like Arabian Ranches but I’m presuming no apartments there?

2. On schools; assuming we’d like to live in the Ranches area, which school options should we consider? JESS, JAS, any others? I really don’t want a super long school commute, though will do so for the first year rather than move schools later. Ideally we want an apartment not too far from this area first?

3. Schools application process… in our last ME posting school places were sold as very hard to come by, but in reality pupil turnover was high and places were usually available even in the ‘best’ British curriculum schools. Any ideas on how oversubscribed the schools above are, if at all??

4. Cat… we’d like to bring our cat with us, but have no experience of this at all. Would he cope ok with climate transition or is it better to rehome him with a loving family member here in UK?

5. Any recommended moving companies please? Slow ship is fine…!

6. What are your top tips for planning the move? Kids are excited, so are we, just keen to get organised now!

Thanks so much in advance for any advice.

I know OP moved to AD but just for future reference for those looking at houses in either AD or DXB .. it's worth checking how the air conditioning bills are calculated and what the average bill is and this can be extortionate and an unexpected cost ..
on another note would def agree UAE is a brilliant place to live, Abu Dhabi is a great place to raise a family and you realise how lucky you are with a relatively short flight back to the UK compared to friends from further away - you don't mention jet lag when they're travelling 24 hrs !

Agree with all of this. It's a really nice place to bring up a family

Until things go wrong. My (married with a young family) friend was drugged and raped in Dubai and when she reported it the police refused to log it, they said that didn’t happen there, when she pushed it they gave her and her family a week to leave the country. That why there’s little crime there…..

@DaysofHoney thank you all for your replies! Sounds like a really lovely place to live... you've got the cogs turning in my head now.

Hmm not sure many cogs to be turned here

We’re thinking about AD but a bit wary as I will be the one who gets the job / package initially (but it won’t take long for DH as his speciality is something UAE needs). How is UAE life when women are the breadwinners? I’ve heard from friends that many maids / wraparound childminders won’t deal with men and that even schools rely mainly on mothers being available at home. Is work flexible - ie if it takes time for DH to come over, will they let me do school runs? I’m a total newbie, have never lived anywhere other than the UK or with family in India.

@JustAMinutePleass There are lots of women who have the first job and are well supported with Nannies and maids. Schools finish at 2.40 if you don't count clubs so that is usually the responsibility for the supporting spouse. Abu Dhabi is full of women working in professional fields : wouldn't even blink an eye to see it, lots of husbands ( for example of teachers) who have accompanied their wife's and sorted out their job after the family are settled. Tips to consider: live near where schools are if you have school aged children , and also live relative to where you work : on and off island are hugely different and it's worth factoring in a practice run during the rush hour before settling on a house ( most people stay in a hotel when they arrive)

@JustAMinutePleass there are a lot of dads at pick ups .. older children ( sixth form) can Uber but because of the heat lost children need to come
home in a car : most nannies and maids do not drive so families who can't collect might send their helper in a taxi or hire a separate driver - I don't do either but it works for others

most not lost !! Can't edit as not on website !!

Agree with everything @doubleshotcappuccino has said. I have two or three lots of friends where the woman is the main earner and dad stays home or got the job after. Totally normal.

It's changed in last few years about men being sponsored for their visa. It used to be possible, but they couldn't work legally at all, whilst under wife's sponsorship (unlike other way round where wife could be sponsored by husband and take on work eg TA in school). But that changed a couple of years ago and they can work now too. Although if he's applying for professional position a you would be cheaper and easier with him just doing visa runs for a few months until he gets own employer to sponsor him. I've known quite a few men sponsored by their wives in last 5 years. Mainly teachers' trailing spouses as the teacher wife gets the package and can sponsor them along with their kids. It's certainly no longer strange to see a stay at home dad in British schools at least. They are a growing minority.

However, it is true that many maids/nannies workers at that level do massively prefer to deal with the mother. And even then the power dynamic is uncomfortable. But if you find the right person and they get to know your set up/your husband I'm sure you can make it work. Try to find them through personal recommendations if at all possible. And do it all legally. No matter what you are told the only legal childcare is either by sponsoring them yourself or using an agency. Yet so many say they have their own visa/visa from their husband. That's illegal for domestic workers. You might be luckier but in my experience working there was not at all flexible wrt hours. You were expected to arrange a nanny/driver/school bus. And school starts really early.

@mannekenpis prefer supporting spouse to trailing spouse ! I feel very much half of a successful partnership not being dragged behind my partner

I hear you, having also been one at one time and well aware how important a role it is in facilitating the other spouse's role! It's just a name that's stuck and so widely used and understood it's an easy shorthand.