Anyone in Denmark? - Efterskole system

[Didactylos]

Very specific question but I am wondering if anyone here who currently or previously has lived in DK has had experience with their child going to a Efterskole in 9th or 10th klasse?

Not in Denmark myself right now but have several friends whose children are currently doing their efterskole year. So far all very happy at their different efterskoles. If you're thinking of it, choose carefully, they can be quite different, although they all seem to stress pastoral care. They also offer different special subjects and specialisations so that's an important thing to look at too. Some offer/require students to go home more or less so distance to home might be something to consider too.

I think it is a great thing for children to do and wish there were such a system here too. I think especially boys benefit from having a bit of extra time (if they do year 10), and all benefit in general.

Thanks so much for the reply yellowonion
I have heard good things but these things are always a difficult decision to make. I am sure DS would benefit from the extra time of year 10 wherever he goes to school - hes struggled somewhat with changing schools, changing languages and has taken a while to settle in. The efterskole would be one with a strong sports bias, as he is quite talented in a particular sport and has been offered places based on this, and to secure him a place we would have to sign up in the next week or so.

I can see the strong benefits - sporting, independence, social but can also see that hes had a lot of changes in his life and is not particularly flexible/good in new situations so might struggle with moving school/moving away from peer group and current friends again. I am also concerned about him as a 16 year old dealing with his schoolwork without good supervision as he often needs support/encouragement/or even nailed to a chair to complete tasks, and he needs some extra support in classes like maths at the moment because they are taught in danish. Although I hope this will improve.
Hes currently year 8 so we are looking at 18 months before he goes - but an awful lot can change over that time. He was pretty motivated by the visits and sports/cultural/travel aspects but Im torn because I can see the situation might go either way, and could be very positive or a total disaster for him.

Have any of your friends children struggled with efterskole? or had the experience of coming in with Danish as a second language?

I can see that it is difficult! It seems that you have one particular school in mind - unless it is very popular things do often change, and even if they say you need to sign up now to secure a place, there might well be places even later on, if you want to give it some time. Attending year 10 sounds like a given for him in any case. It is 18 months away, do you think it might be good for him to get away from home, if many of his friends might be going to gymnasium?

One of my Danish friends actually lives in Sweden, and her child didn't speak Danish. They have heard it a lot of course but didn't speak it. They love it now, perhaps especially the fact that the grades don't matter that much! Wouldn't it be the same case for your DS since he could still apply with his year 9 grades if he wanted to?

Remember that the efterskole has seen it all before :-) They are very used to dealing with children who are homesick, they do a ton of 'getting to know each other' exercises etc to make sure people get along/get friends etc. If you decide to send him, I think the important thing is that you go for it fully - don't 'bribe' him with things like 'you can leave at the efterårsferie if you don't like it' etc - he needs to try, and if there are issues, speak to the school, trust them to provide support so that you work with the school, not 'against' them if that makes sense.

Also re homework - I think there's quite a strong focus of doing your homework, often 'quiet time' every day when they're not allowed to use any electronics and have to be in their rooms, so not much else to do, so to speak.

Have you lived in DK long or not so long? Might it be a strange concept to him that might make him hesitate (English people I speak to here often find it very odd, there's such a focus here on going quickly through school and university, and taking your time to choose and figuring out what you want to do in life just isn't standard/appreciated. Also remember his Danish will be sooo much better then, I'd say it's unlikely he'll need language support if he already kind of gets by.

I think you'll find that there are very few children whose years are total disasters! But of course there is no guarantee. Why don't you check with the school if they could see if a current parent would be willing to speak to you about their experience, perhaps a parent of a child who is not super socially confident etc?

Thanks so much for your input - thinking about it I suspect most of the anxiety is mine , mixed with a bit of guilt because our moves have to some extent disrupted his education and social development. I also find it a bit harder to guide a teenage boy who isn't always engaged with school and has a tendency to kick against the pricks when you try and help him. I'm also looking at him through my lens now - 18 months can bring a lot of changes and growth.

He seems fairly level about it, and engaged with the idea, and has a few friends planning similar things, plus had a chance to chat with some current students when we visited. Weve been here a few years although he has spent some time in the international school system. Although we suggested the initial idea hes actually been quite motivated - writing his own statements for the applications and has given good reasoning for his preferred school so I think the plan is to go for it and see how he is when the time comes closer.

I think you might be very right that it might be more parent anxiety than his :-) Over many years I've heard so many stories about young people having the time of their lives in an efterskole, how it's affected their lives in a positive way, and how they've grown. This includes shy, or even socially awkward people. The country has such a long tradition for this that all efterskoler are used to dealing with all and any problem that might appear.

When it comes to being disengaged with school, I would have thought the school would have ways of dealing with that, so providing him with 'more adults' saying the same thing, so to speak? Might give you a break from nagging ;-)

I might sound too positive... I just think it's such a good opportunity for young people. It's grown in popularity over the past few decades (wasn't as popular among middle class people 20-30 years ago), I think there are reasons for that so to speak.

I'd say go for it. IIRC, if you book a place now, and find that he absolutely doesn't want to go, the worst case scenario is that you'd lose a booking fee (is that something like 5000-8000 DKK?) - obviously not nice to lose, but if you're considering paying for this, it won't be the end of the world either :-)

Good luck, all the best to your son!

Definately my stress - hence why Im posting on here to defuse it rather than stressing in the real world. I guess I am more worried about him because of the problems he has had moving schools and countries, which has in some ways really derailed him. We had a good chat with him and hes chosen which school he felt suited better so we accepted the place yesterday, and now he just needs to concentrate on his year 8/9 work.

Good luck :-) Hope it all works out and that it'll be a great year!