When to move back

[repatexpat]

How do you decide when it's time to move back to England?

We moved back in August. For us it was mainly wanting to be back close to family and also we were keen to make the move while the DC were still primary age as felt that would be easier for them. Luckily they have both settled really well in a lovely new school. Although it was a good experience and I don't regret it, we never really loved living overseas and felt "done" with it after nearly five years, although we were living on a tiny island, may well have felt differently otherwise!

Covid drove us home last summer 2021. And we didn't want older DC to have to move much older than she was. Wish we hadn't though find it hard to settle here.

Thank you for sharing your experiences - it's based on our children's schooling and our aging family. We realize the global situation and cost of living... which scares us. It is hard to get yourself removed and try to see it from the outside.

i wanted to move back well before secondary. In the end the oldest was in year 1 - at the time I regretted that we hadn’t moved back in time for reception but looking back I don’t think it would have made much difference as long as it was by year 2. If we’d left it until year 4/5 onwards I think it would have been a lot more difficult for them to settle in.

Similar to @CoteDivoire covid restrictions made me move back about a year before I ideally would have (Feb 22). In hindsight, although it's been a bit shit as we've had to split the family for 18 months, I'm glad I got DS back when I did. Originally I planned to have him do Year 8 in UK to settle in and then go to another school which starts in Year 9, but I did fully appreciate that the CE curriculum is different to the UK nat curriculum so glad he had the extra year. Also it's given him a much needed kick up the arse in terms of effort at school- ongoing online in HK meant he was coasting for Britain. Ageing parents not a huge problem at the moment but I didn't want to move back into a crisis situation and wanted to spend time with them while they're still in good health.

did= didnt. sorry.

the comments and experiences are very interesting, thank you; we both work here; and being close to 50, likely would be difficult - or more challenging to get a job back in UK (or it seems even getting jobs in UK is tough). The international school does well, however there is a mass exodus at Year 6 (end) or year 8 (end). Would it be easier to place the kids into school at 11+ or 13+ entry?

Is there any possibility of continuing in the same job and working remotely in the UK? That is what I've done. Even though I was fully office based before, my employer was happy to keep me on.

For state secondary school, the main entry point is year 6 but you apply closer to the start of year 5 and if the school is over subscribed you would need to be already living at your new address in the UK when they allocate the places. If you apply from abroad you would be last in line, so this would only work if the school is under subscribed. Private schools have entry at 11+ and 13+, it varies between schools/type of school as to which is the main entry point.

@RandomUsernameHere my job is very specific here, so unlikely to move it over to the UK.

Going from the schools aspect, our LEA have asked us for documentation which we are not able to give. Our house is currently tenanted out (they have just had a baby!) and we shall not have any notice to our existing employers. It's just too far ahead; so planning is challenging... so to make the right decision if there is ever a time... it's getting down to what the critical points are to consider for the dreaded move. will I regret it?

Is it sensible to move back for year 6 or do you think moving directly into a (state) secondary school would be ok?

We are considering bribing back DS for year 5 instead of year 6, as this is when they sit the CE / ISEB

We moved back for the summer term year 5, year 3 for the younger ds.

It worked out well. But one of my main reasons for coming back was for them to develop friendships before secondary school. The oldest doesn't speak to any friends from primary or secondary, the youngest doesn't speak to any friends from primary but does meet up with friends from secondary (he's just finished year 12). Looking back I wouldn't move for friendships although it was important to me as I moved countries at 5, 9, 13, 16years old so feel like I never developed/maintained them!

So ISEB- you're looking at private schools for 11/13+??

I have done it both ways (2 DC). DS sat his ISEB in a windowless room at the British Council in HK in Year 6 having done sporadic Atom practice to prepare. He was at a UK curriculum school in HK. He got into his school of choice so I don't think he was necessarily disadvantaged other than by having had far less in person school over the previous 2 years than he would have had in the UK, but that's less relevant for you due to timing (ie school closures well behind us). I do also wonder if more benefit of the doubt is applied to kids who are not in UK prep schools. The other thing about their HK school was that, as a through school, they were pretty unhelpful about supporting applications to UK secondary schools. The reference was pretty much cut and paste from info I gave them. I found out subsequently that the reason DS was waitlisted for a certain UK school was that it's automatic if the prep head doesn't call admissions with a personal reference as seen as not really keen or head does not support application. So that's something to check.

DD went into the last half of Year 5 in a prep school in the UK and got more support in school for ISEB and was able to sit it at school with all her friends which I think was nicer. She also got a practice interview with the head and a much fuller reference. It was also easier to get her to do her Atom as the teachers set personalised homework and all her friends were doing it too. She was probably a bit behind when she came back to UK (curriculum gaps) and the school got her caught up in that term and a half. She also got her school of first choice.

So I think it depends on the school where you are now (curriculum, likely support for UK applications, academic rigour) and also how academic the options are that you're going for in UK. Feel free to PM me names of schools if you like or otherwise if you post on the education section they can advise although it can be a bit scary over there .

How old were your children when you moved back? When you were abroad were they in international schools? And do they go to state schools now?

@Ifyouarehappyandyouknowit123 they were both 8 when we moved back, so had just finished Year 3. They were in British schools when we were abroad and now in a state primary. So pleased with how happy they both are in the new school.

Thank you for your reply. What part of the world were you in? Can you imagine yourself moving back out or do you feel 'settled' now you are back in England?

@Ifyouarehappyandyouknowit123 we were in Jersey. Not far away but at times travelling off the island can be an absolute nightmare. We are very settled now after nearly a year back in the UK. Definitely wouldn't consider another move. There's no way I would uproot the kids now, plus my parents are starting to get on in years. If it was just me and DH to think about it would be completely different and I would love to move around all over the world!

Yes, the children's school situation worries me the most when thinking about staying abroad. My two are 2 and 4 years old so the older one will start nursery in September. I am thinking about 5 more years abroad which would put us in a much better position financially... she will be going into year 5 by then, Nd my other daughter going into year 3, so hopefully wouldn't affect them too much :(

@Ifyouarehappyandyouknowit123 I was worried about moving them too, especially as they were really happy in their previous schools. Now I can't believe I even gave it so much thought! They have both slotted in to the new school so well, it's like they have been there since preschool. Hopefully it will be the same for your two if and when you decide to make the move. I think children are often surprisingly adaptable and resilient. I was also a bit unsure about the move from private to state, but again no problems there.

Thank you all for your comments and experiences. You are right, kids are more resilient- why did we lose this as adults?!

Well I’m not sure I’d necessarily agree with that - some kids are resilient and so are some adults. Some kids and adults aren’t. However, I think in primary, most children do adjust to an international move albeit some take longer or find it harder than others. I feel that it’s harder for secondary age kids and I’d avoid that if possible ( esp post year 9) unless they were going back into boarding school with a tonne of internationals and which has a year 9 intake.

@illiterato making the decision to move before secondary / 9 back to England is the move for the children that suits us. Settling back in is a challenge for sure..!

Yeah- it can be hard and often harder for you than for them as we don’t have something equivalent to “school” to help us make friends! I have only just started to feel settled now tbh, 15 months after I moved.