Leaving the UK for Spain or France with children

[Mumof3andworkingFT]

Hi there,

Would welcome thoughts /recommendations on possible cities to move to in Spain /Southern France. We have 3 young children (2, 3 and 8) so we need to think of an international school for the eldest following the British curriculum. I speak French, my DH doesn't (not children). I feel that we are getting quite tired ot the UK and I am seriously contemplating the idea of relocating for 2-3 years to a sunnier country (I am quite sick with the British winters) to enjoy a different lifestyle while the children are still young (but possibly move back to the UK at the 11+ juncture for our eldest to enter the UK secondary schooling system).

I can find a job in Spain (I don't speak Spanish) or France and DH will commute between the UK and our chosen new location.

València, Barcelona, Madrid in Spain - anyone can share opinions on pros and cons of each? How good are the International private schools in Spain please? For some reason I am more inclined on Spain although I don't speak the language than France.

Am I totally delusioning myself to think that life in a warmer country will be easier with young children? The nursery cost alone in the UK are killing the family budget 😏. Will it totally screw up my 8 year old to move her back in 3 years time just as she would have settled?

Has anyone made the move to Spain /Southern France and regretted or loved it? Am I looking at this from a grass is always greener perspective? The thought of another long winter in the UK on the horizon has clearly prompted this message.

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I have itchy feet 😊

@QuentininQuarantino thanks for the useful information! Do the schools have a ton of holidays like in the UK? From when to when does the school year run please? Any idea what the hourly cost for an after school nanny is? Very happy to hear you have had a positive experience and loving life there!! 🎉

Hello, I’m afraid I don’t know about the cost of a nanny, sorry.

The holidays are wonderful (I’m a teacher 😁, they’re harder for working parents!) and we normally break up around 18/6 and go back around 10/9, so nearly 3 months! Schools and towns run summer camps and clubs which vary in price but around 100€ a week. There are no half terms, and the standard 2 weeks at Xmas and Easter.

I didn’t speak Spanish when I came but I did speak French and found it took me a year to be able to join in at the school run cafe table. I think knowing French helped a lot.

Re schools in France, there is the international school of Toulouse where a lot of Airbus kids go. Also there are a few along the south coast and in and around Bordeaux, although some are just bilingual. I think the only school in France (could have changed) that properly follows the UK curriculum is the BSP (Paris). Personally, if you are going for 2/3 years I'd put them all in local schools. You can send them to one with a section internationale. There are lots of these within the public system and they usually have English and History/Geography classes in English for fluent/advanced English speakers. This will be a great experience for them and they will pick up the language quickly at their ages. Returning to UK for secondary - if you decide to do so - will be fine. I did it (2 were older) and it all worked out fine. Plus they will have great language acquisition. Mine are all properly fluent in at least 2 languages each.

We are looking into this because I’m so fed up in the UK and dh and dc are dual uk/EU nationals. We have lived overseas before and our dc really loved it.

My dc are older so would have to be international schools for us. We visited Nice international school this year and were offered spaces. However we decided against it for a variety of reasons.

For the younger ones local school would be better. There's an international school in Lyon but it's not very good because they don't have a stable student population so a lot of the student body barely speak English. The results therefore aren't great. That will probably go for everywhere that's not a capital or major expat centre.

I'd focus on France since you know the language. It seems crazy to me to make your life deliberately much more difficult just for a slightly warmer winter, especially since this sounds like a relatively short term move.

In my limited experience I would be very wary of international schools. We found that the local schools were usually much better as the pupils at international schools were often very transient. Your children will pick up the language much quicker in a local school and are at a great age to move. Mine were older so it was more difficult.

@Plantstrees thank you for sharing your experience. Other people above have also made that comment so it is starting to make me think about that from a different angle. So yes, great, they will pick up French, but then their English I guess will suffer unless I put in quite a lot of work to maintain it at home for UK secondary educations exams at 11+... Something to think about I guess. 🙏🙏

@teezletangler yes, perhaps you are right. The practicalities of it all would be much easier I guess. 🙏

@StamppotAndGravy yes, this seems to be what other mums are saying on here as well which was news to me - coming from the UK educational system I somehow expected international schools to be on par but clearly not the case. I will look into southern France in more detail.

@Chateaudiaries thank you. What were the main reasons please why you decided against it? It would probably inform our thinking better...

@gerfrentig thabk you! How did your children adjust back to secondary education after being abroad? What were the main challenges if any?

>I am a little more drawn to Spain /Portugal for the milder winters

It depends where you are going in Spain. Inland the winters are cold, as in COLD when you are away from maritime influences. Spain has its own mini-continentality effect.

Due to locationally flip-flopping international parents and a fallback grandmother who stepped in when they were being arses, I moved back and forth mostly between schools in Spain and London. Both sets had strengths and weaknesses and if you are a resilient child you develop your languages and come out with a decent set of skills. I think it best to be in one system for 16+ as there are well worn pathways that can be followed, but it is probably not crucial.

If you, OP, are fluent in French, I'd probably favour France over Spain. I had a pretty good time in the Spanish system, including at university level, but didn't have a language hurdle due to having a fluent father and a multilingual home and would choose Spain over France because of that.

It's not that international schools are poor quality. The teachers are normally fully qualified and well educated. It's that they're there for families in transit who don't have any other option. Better for a kid to pick up a bit of English and some education for the year than none at all before they move on to the next posting or back home. Local school would be completely miserable for those kids.

If the kids are speaking English at home they'll be fine. As soon as you move back for uni or whatever the peculiarities in their English will disappear. Some countries have bilingual local state schools. That will detract from their French though. There are definitely some in Paris but I don't know how wide spread they are.

We moved to near Nice many years ago with a baby. Now have three kids who have all been through a mix of local school, international section in a state secondary and specialist sports schools. One off now studying in Holland for uni, another going to the Uk next year. It's been a fantastic place to bring up kids and they say they wouldn't want it any other way. Best is to put the kids in local schools so they make friends and learn French more easily. There are 4 secondary schools here with international sections - great for bilingual kids and you just pay for the English teaching so nothing like ISN or Mougins fees. Happy to offer more info by message.

None really or no more than if they'd not been in France. One came back for Year 6 (acutally repeated it because of the way the school year works in France v UK), the others were older. Two are at UK unis. I don't know how they would have been in comparison without our sojourn abroad but they have done well.

@Mumof3andworkingFT I’m going to PM you later as I’m running out the door (teen taxi)

@Chateaudiaries thank you 😊🙏

@gerfrentig thank you. Great to know!

@Pandabox thank you for sharing. Good to know about the section internationale.

@StamppotAndGravy thanks a lot. We will see what we decide.

@MMBaranova thabks appreciate the thoughts. 🙏

I’m very late to this conversation, but have lived in Spain with young children and we are thinking of going back, so thought my input might be useful. Spain is a wonderful country to live in with kids, the Spanish love children and they are welcome everywhere; there are no ‘looks’ if your children cry or behave in a childlike way in a restaurant, for example. They play out late and have more freedom than in the uk. There is also a more sponatanous culture in regards to things like play dates and birthday parties are very inclusive and go on all day (the Spanish love to party). The Spanish state schools can be very good, depending on the area (much like the UK) but they are very traditional and it’s all in Spanish, so more suited to those wanting to stay a long time. The international schools there can be a little transient, but people stay longer than you might think (eg 5 years, not 2) so it’s not really an issue with the young kids and again they encourage them all to play together, so there is less impact if someone leaves. We came back for the usual - jobs, family, friends, to tend to businesses … but after 6 months back we are seriously considering moving abroad again and saving up to then maybe buy again in the UK (due to the curent cost of living crisis etc). Money goes a long way in Spain; Mercadona supermarket is super reasonable as a lot of fruit and veg is grown in the country, plus local meat, cheese, fish etc. could you work remotely online? Most people we made friends with were doing that. Good luck with everything.

@GingerSquid you sound like you're living my life! We moved back to UK from Spain 4 months ago and I'm seriously regretting it! Would love to go back but worry about upheaval for kids and guilt towards grandparents! If it was just me I would go in a blink. Best place for kids OP - definitely go!