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Living overseas

Whether you're considering emigrating or an expat abroad, you'll find likeminds on this forum.

Is it a mistake to move back?

40 replies

CindyLouWho1 · 23/06/2022 15:00

We have lived outside the UK for about 6 years. The country where we live is incredibly safe and affordable, with a very high quality of life and a very low cost of living. It’s almost perfect except… we are not yet fluent in the language, the people are extremely hostile towards outsiders, the political situation in regard to immigrants is deteriorating, and the winters are brutal (6-7 months of deep snow, -20 to -40 celsius, stuck inside with nothing to do). It’s also - I’m sorry to say - kind of boring.

I never thought I would want to live in the UK but after a recent visit I was struck by how happy and comfortable and at ease I felt there. I realized that I felt at home in a way that I never do here (not for lack of trying). I feel that no matter how beautiful it is, no matter how nice our house or our car is, this place will never feel like home to me.

Even our kids, who were born here and speak the language and had never been to the UK, seemed so much happier there. The oldest, who is 4, has been asking if we can move there since we got back.

So now I’m wondering whether we should just do it. (We have the option to transfer our jobs there if we want to). I realize it would mean downsizing quite dramatically as we could never afford the lifestyle we have here in the UK. But then I think about the food, the shops, the history, the culture, the countryside, London… Life just feels so much richer and more stimulating there. I know people complain about the weather but a bit of gloomy rain is nothing to me after six terrible winters here! I feel like even if all we can afford is a tiny little terrace house, I CAN and WILL make it work somehow.

Has anybody else been in the same position?

OP posts:
sevenandtheraggedtiger · 02/08/2022 08:16

CindyLouWho1 · 01/08/2022 20:11

Now I’m having serious about moving back! Has anyone else here done it recently? And did you regret it?

We moved back to the Uk after 18 years in the states. Don't 'regret' it but we're going back to the States. There is more we miss there than here...

Slippersandacuppa · 02/08/2022 08:25

I grew up overseas and then moved away from the UK after uni with DH. We had children overseas and moved back when they were quite young. I’m so glad we did. No regrets at all. I’d be open to another finite stint somewhere but wouldn’t want to sell the family home and I’m understanding the importance of roots. Maybe because I never felt like I really had them here. I always longed for families things like hedgehogs and seasons. Remember that nothing is permanent…good luck!

sevenandtheraggedtiger · 02/08/2022 11:30

Slippersandacuppa · 02/08/2022 08:25

I grew up overseas and then moved away from the UK after uni with DH. We had children overseas and moved back when they were quite young. I’m so glad we did. No regrets at all. I’d be open to another finite stint somewhere but wouldn’t want to sell the family home and I’m understanding the importance of roots. Maybe because I never felt like I really had them here. I always longed for families things like hedgehogs and seasons. Remember that nothing is permanent…good luck!

So true!! It's just another adventure!

KobaniDaughters · 11/08/2022 01:23

We moved back 7 weeks ago after 10years in the states. The U.K. is on very good behaviour right now with the weather and Boris going and winning the football - come back to me in February or March!

so far really we’ve just been settling in but have managed a trip to Paris and friends are coming to see us in our new neck of the woods. So far all is good, but it probably hasn’t massively sunk in either yet. But people have also been very friendly and welcoming.

I'm glad to be out of America, it was very good to us and we had an amazing time and amazing friends but it’s heading in a scary direction and my DS’s school was on an active shooter lockdown 4 days before the Uvalde massacre, and where we lived is going to see awful drought conditions over the next few years.

nothing is permanent though!

Ethny · 12/08/2022 14:04

I think weather in the UK (south) is dramatically underestimated. Actually it allows us to be outdoors all year round: walk, travel, play sports. However I still miss Scandinavia (I lived there for some time before the UK). Social equality, housing standards, safety, nurseries, commute distances, public transportation are so much better there. Unfortunately very limited job market made us leave. However socially it is much better here for us. People are very welcoming and life is much more vibrant here. What scares you the most about returning to the UK?

halfsiesonapotnoodle · 12/08/2022 14:12

CindyLouWho1 · 23/06/2022 23:17

I do have an Irish passport as well as an English one so there are always options.

Surely you mean a British passport. Not English.

Crikeyalmighty · 12/08/2022 14:39

Initially I thought you were talking Denmark or Sweden or Finland - but don't think you can be as cost of living def isn't low!! Maybe Poland , Lithuania or Czech Republic??

We have moved back from Copenhagen for practical reasons to do with work and family and yes, the UK is easier in many ways but to live anywhere that's nice ish (in my opinion) isn't cheap, cost of living is pretty high and some factors feel like the Wild West- we live in Windsor at the moment and our nearest A&E is truly dire- there are few police about apart from when it's changing of the guard, and I've recently spied a lot of what is clearly driving under influence of booze or drugs. Whilst others won't agree I think the gvt have lost the plot and it's clear Brexit is causing immense staffing and pricing problems in all kind of business and industry and that has a knock on effect in services. Difference between here and Copenhagen seems like chalk and cheese. Personally whilst we had to come back and for good reason- I'm hoping in a few years we can leave again for somewhere else unless things radically improve

Not trying to put you off , just to be aware of some things aren't that great

Ethny · 12/08/2022 18:21

@Crikeyalmighty My thoughts exactly. I'm in SW London, in super nice & posh area and still I see people who are clearly looking for troubles every day. However my husband loves London so it is unlikely we will move to another country.

Crikeyalmighty · 12/08/2022 18:55

@Ethny Yep, we initially were going to move back to kingston area but were outbid on rentals and that's at quite a high level- but even then when I look at it compared to where we had just moved from - it still looks not as spick and span and no police anywhere. Within 3 weeks back here our car was broke into in the evening in Richmond NCP .

snow9810 · 08/01/2023 23:53

Hi,
Just out of interest, did you move back?
I was in a similar situation, overseas, snow, minus temperatures and very remote. A single parent of two and after covid was feeling extremely isolated, didn't speak the language although my children did.
I moved back 4 months ago and I am starting to think I have made a huge mistake. Just wondering how it panned out for you?

GrassIsGreenerExpat · 23/01/2023 10:25

Did you make the move? I've been out of the UK coming on 18yrs and now really want to return to the UK so the kids can know where they 'come from'. I know life is going to be expensive and services are going down the drain...but the draw of home is a strong one. Really keen to hear how people find the transition!

padsi1975 · 23/01/2023 13:05

I live here (not from here) and I wouldn't, based on severely deteriorating public services (health, schools, policing) and cost of living. And the grey skies.

Citygirlrurallife · 23/01/2023 20:42

@GrassIsGreenerExpat we moved back last summer after 10years away and so so glad we did - there’s no place like home

cassiatwenty · 04/03/2023 10:02

Come back xxx

cassiatwenty · 04/03/2023 10:05

This sounds like Estonia or Lithuania. People are hostile. Think no more, move back. No point in living abroad if it feels like a warzone.

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