Moving to Australia - wwyd?

[ozoruk]

Sorry this might be long but I could really do with some advice from those that may have been through something similar.

Im British, husband Australian (south Australia which is where we would head back to) – married 15 years with 2 kids 8 and 12 – both decent jobs which should transfer well (hopefully). My parents sadly passes away within 6 months of each other last year and this has prompted the discussion about the move. No inheritance so that isn’t a factor but it made me realise that aside from a distant aunt we literally have no family here now. DH has his parents, sister, extended family and whilst we are settled and secure I worry about his parents in the years to come and my own DC having no real family around them.

However we would essentially be ‘starting again’ at 40/45 respectively, possibly with a successful house sale which would probably net us about £650,000 to take over to start with. But a lot of our furniture probably wouldn’t be worth taking, and from that pot we would need cars, furniture, flights and buying a house – albeit we would need a mortgage. I just cant decide if this is madness or not and we would potentially giving up a nice life and security to uprooting the kids for not strong enough reasons.

Any perspectives on our situation gratefully received.

I would probably make the move in your shoes, given everything you’ve said. Do you like it there?

Family is important, and it will be good for your DH to be closer to his parents as they age. Much better to move now, with your kids this age, than wait and have to move in a rushed way if something comes up with their health over the next few years.

I answered in a rush… continuing, have you spent much time in SA? What do you think of the lifestyle where you would be living? Do your kids like it there? Do you think you might struggle with culture clash?

I probably made it sound too easy in my last post but I do see the rationale around family compelling.

Not exactly the same situation, but we have moved back to Australia after 17 years in the UK to be closer to family. Yes, it feels painful to give up the security we had in the UK, but I do feel more optimistic about the future here. We have primarily been motivated by being closer to parents as they age (both sets of parents are here).

I was onboard until I read it was South Australia. Have you spent time living in South Australia, not just a holiday? Would you both be able to find work in South Australia, as not exactly the capital of opportunity by any stretch. Also consider that if your kids have professional careers post school they are unlikely to stay there. Would you then be okay living there with your kids in other states where you would need to fly back and forward given the distance?

I’m an Australyan living in the uk. In your shoes I’d definitely do it.

Assuming you are employable I also think that’s enough money. Not enormous. But enough.

Other than family what are the pluses and minuses?
I'm in Australia at the moment and i understand the attraction of family (we have an only child which makes it hard) but i probably miss my closest friends as much - you'd be giving up them. How close is DH to his family?
A friend of mine did similar a few years ago- She's Aussie (Brisbane) he's English- with no close family - they moved to Brisbane to be with her family (who she is incredibly close to) but they couldn't settle - she had changed since moving away (she'd been out of Oz 10 plus years) -and he never really loved it (but would have stayed for her)- all his friends were husbands of her friends and weren't particularly close- they found it small and insular, jobs were dull/not as exciting as at home and there were few opportunities and they just preferred the British/european lifestyle and culture. I do think its difficult- my friend is always going to be torn and misses her family. I did suggest maybe sydney/melbourne whihc are bigger but she thinks that would be the worse of both worlds - not british culture and far away from her family (which having lived through covid here i now when the states closed their borders i now understand)

Australia is expensive and catches out a lot of people who arrive with 10k to start a new life...

Your situation sounds reasonable given south Australia is (relatively) cheaper than Sydney and you are taking some capital with you.

Look carefully at pension transfers and tax situation. Also remember mortgage rates in Oz are higher.

Perhaps go for 3 weeks (not just a quick holiday) and rent a.house in the suburbs to see how real life is? Lots of driving,.scorching heat, but great food, outdoors, etc etc.

If you love your current house, why not rent it out for x amount of set years to ''see'' how the move goes?

I think a Plan B is always good.

What do the kids want to do?

I moved from Ireland to Perth when I was 43. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner. And we came with a lot less money than you! Yes it seems expensive here to start with, but once you are on Aussie wages you will be able to achieve a much higher quality of life here, especially as you will be avoiding the crazy house prices over east. I would do a recce first though if you haven't been before (although I didn't!). Good luck!

South Australia is a great place to live and you would have enough from your house sale to live VERY comfortably there. It’s very small for a capital city, and it has great food and wine. Of course you would have to wrap your head around paying to see GPs and for prescription medicines, but the beaches are fabulous, the countryside is beautiful and crime is very low. I live in another capital city, and don’t love it. I would move to Adelaide in a heartbeat. It is far enough south that you get decent seasons and while the summers can get VERY hot, everywhere is airconditioned. The cost of living in general is becoming very similar to London where I live. I think it would be a good move if your kids aren’t too entrenched in high school yet. (We are Aussies but lived in the Netherlands for nine years. We moved back when our eldest was starting high school.) If you want to look at the cost of living, check out these supermarket websites - Coles and Woolworths are the big two. Petrol is expensive here. Read up on power and gas costs. (That’s how most houses are heated.) Kmart is a great department store if you are wanting homewears and don’t want to pay a fortune. We have Target, but unfortunately it’s not like Target in America. (Same logo, different company.) We have IKEA, Freedom Furniture, etc. Also gumtree for used stuff.

I don’t think the issues of furniture and house prices/purchases are the main considerations. Instead I’d be thinking:

• do I want to go?


• are the children onboard and excited by the prospect?


• do we get on with DH family?


• what will we miss most and is it worth it to make that sacrifice?


• can we get good jobs?


• How will DCs schooling be affected?

i would definitely consider renting out your house for a year whilst you go and figure things out.
Personally, if I had a reason such as having family in Australia then I’d move for sure. The only reason we don’t move away from the UK are strong family ties.

I searched real-estate.com.au for houses with three bedrooms and a ceiling price of $1 million AUD in the greater Adelaide region. I found properties well below this that were walking distance to the beach (one even had 4 beds, a covered pool and spa and was around $850,000). You really shouldn't need a mortgage. It's not Melbourne or Sydney where prices have been astronomical.

We moved to Australia 4 years ago in our very early 40s.

We were in the UK with no family, although dh family are in Ireland. I was really sad my DC were missing out on spending time with family.

For us, it was the best thing. House prices are high in Aus but we were able to buy mortgage free and that's given us the freedom to find jobs we want. Dh has landed well on his feet with his career and I'm finally in a role I'm happy with.

This means we'll soon look to sell our Aus starter home, and buy something that's a little more long term.

In your shoes, I'd do it to be near family for DC. If your DP were still alive I wouldn't move, but as they're not it's a good opportunity for you to try something new.

I should say as it's not clear I'm an Aussie and DH is Irish.

You are in a scarily similar position to me OP! I’m also torn! Placemarking to come back as I’m just on school run!

Thanks so much for the replies to answer a few questions, yes I have been there and we did live there for a month (rented an air bnb 2017) and at that time were seriously considering the move and were making moves to sort it when covid hit, my husband had to take a big pay cut, my parents got very ill and it just wasn't feasible. Since then I have felt a really strong urge to go - i want to go, DH is worried about leaving our relative security and the kids wobble between missing friends and not wanting to leave to being really excited (but I don't doubt it will be a serious wrench for them).

Re healthcare - to be honest I am getting to a stage where i would happily pay private, I cant get mu children into a dentist, what I witnessed with my parents care was shocking and whilst I know that the Australian system isn't a utopia by any means the chronic state of the NHS (certainly near me) does hugely worry me if one of us was to get sick 🙁.

Re SA - i know it is considered a large country town, and my heart would lie in Sydney but as a PP said worst of both worlds and we would likely be priced out. I have been following job alerts and there certainly does seem to be good opportunities in my field. I would really like to have a job with an international company which would mean some interstate - or further afield travel.

I have amazing friends and it would be a pull to leave, but we also have friends there (outside the in laws!) so I think whilst i would miss them terribly i would hopefully cope.

Kids schooling does worry me, but eldest in year 7 so hopefully enough time to settle in and youngest not yet at high school. Oh for a crystal ball to see if they would be happy! If they did move further afield for life/work i certainly wouldn't hold them back and would hopefully be in a position to travel/visit.

DH best friend works for IKEA so hopefully we can stock up there on the furniture front🙂

What are the likely effects of climate change where you’d be going? The UK is pretty grim at the moment but the prospect of extreme weather in Australia in the future would worry me.

We moved to Aus 15 years ago same ages as you with kids aged 3-13. Unlike you though we knew nobody here to the extent that when schools asked for emergency contacts we had to say we had none. It was the best thing we ever did, our now adult kids have had a much better life and education here, they have been back to the UK on holiday and all say they are so glad that they live where they do. With family support it’s a no brainer for me if you can get jobs, your budget wouldn’t get you far in Sydney where we are but in SA you should be fine. I do still miss my girlfriends tbh, I have made friends here but it’s just not the same but overall it was the best decision we ever made.

Climate change does worry me - but then so does flooding here to some extent, and I suppose if worst does come to absolute worse as we would all have dual citizenship if we become climate migrants we would have somewhere to legally go. Not a nice prospect. I have spent several summers in Australia so know that hot means v hot.

@Flatandhappy that is good to hear. I am more worried about my older one settling and making friends as I would hope it would be easier for the younger one being in primary.

OP we have made some big life changes and relocated. We are living on the phrase ‘if you don’t go, you won’t know’. You might be missing an amazing opportunity, and if it doesn’t work out you can always move back to the UK where you will still have your friendship group, aunt and culture. DO IT!

I have two sets of friends who've made the move in the past 10 years.

Couple 1 - both Aussies from Melbourne, moved back because of aging parents. DH was an investment banker and has had to change his job totally. Of the two, he was the one most entrenched in London life. He'd been here a long time - maybe 15 years or so? He didn't want to leave. He seems happy enough back in Oz, has friends and family, he was there when both his parents died and for that I think he was very grateful, but I know he really misses London and his career will never be the same again, because the opportunities just don't exist in Australia.

DW was the driver behind the move and she is very happy. She's a computer programmer and has found it easy to find work. Their DC were little when they moved and are Aussies, they don't really remember much about living in the UK. They say when they're both retired that they'll spend more time in the UK/Europe again as they really miss the travel opportunities and felt very cut off during Covid. They are all dual UK/Oz citizens. Her parents are still alive, elderly and she's very glad to be able to be close and support them.

Couple 2 - she's Aussie, he's British. He now longer has any close family alive in the UK and so they moved just before Covid to the Sydney area (where she's from). He's a teacher and easily found work. She's a health practitioner and found a practice to join after about six months. They couldn't afford to stay in Sydney so moved to a small town outside the city, where they bought a house with a pool in the garden. They and their kids seem to have taken to the Aussie lifestyle with gusto - surf lifesaving, hiking and camping in the bush, water sports, etc and the whole family seem really happy and settled - or at least that's the impression I get from social media and chatting via Zoom.

I know what I would miss would be Europe and easy/cheap-ish travel, because everywhere is just so far away when you're in Australia. I think it would be okay for a few years, because you could explore Australia and NZ, but after that I'd want to come back. If travel isn't a big deal for you though, it won't matter as much.

I’m on east coast and never been to SA so can’t comment specifically on it as a location.

However SA does have excellent renewable energy which translates into cheaper electricity. If you buy somewhere without solar power, spend $15k on a system and a battery and it should be pretty much free energy.

Climate change is a big deal. Before buying a house, put the address through online free insurance quote generators and get a cost on insurance. Some places are becoming uninsurable because of flood or bushfire risk. It’s not fun living thru the affects of climate change - where I live on the east coast had the biggest flood in recorded history recently. Three months later more than 2000 homes are still uninhabitable, the CBD is a shell with hardly anyone trading as most shops were wiped out, huge schools are squished into other venues, and people are leaving the area in droves as there’s nowhere to live.

@zafferana You can still travel from Aus, you just travel to different places and accept it takes a bit longer. I also missed the ease of getting to Europe when I got here (and nothing beats Eurostar to Paris) but tbh in my 40s had already done a lot of that so was happy to explore different parts of the world. Bali, Lombok, Vanuatu, Fiji, Cook Islands are all fairly close. Singapore and Malaysia aren’t far, you just need to change your usual Eurocentric view.

I know it sounds odd, but have you considered global warming? If things get as bad as some predict, Australia is going to be on the front line. Insurance companies are already refusing to insure certain homes and businesses, for example, leaving some people unable to move. Be wary of this. Don’t move anywhere that is vulnerable to extreme heat or flooding.

Personally, I would miss the seasons. I’d also miss London and access to the rest of Europe.