Child not learning language quickly

[thesnaleandthewhail]

Just wondered if anyone had any similar experiences or thoughts... we moved abroad 2.5 years ago and 2Yo DD went straight into full time childcare locally, now school. Despite being surrounded by it from a young age she is not picking it up. It doesn't appear to be a confidence issue, it just doesn't seem to be going in - her understanding is not much better than her speech. We are learning too so cannot be very helpful at home although try to support her best we can. School are frustrated and say nothing is helping. No obvious learning problems in English. We are aware she missed time due to the pandemic but everyone seems to think she should be learning faster. Should she??

It take about 4 years to become academically fluent in a language.

So she's, what? 4 1/2 now?

It's difficult to tell sometimes.

Mine are being educated in a language that no one speaks at home (or outside of school) so similar but not identical situation. They could speak English in school up to the Christmas of their reception year, but the teachers all only spoke in that language. They picked it up pretty quickly, but they couldn't have told you they could speak 2 languages. They just seemed to know they had words they used at school and words they used at home, and never mixed the 2 up, but just didn't really seem to distinguish them as separate languages. If I asked them what the word was for something, they just looked confused as if they didn't really understand the question. Even really simple words which I knew they knew.

The only time they used the language outside of school was if they were singing a song they'd learned in school. But again they couldn't translate it for me.

They didn't really understand the concept until they were about 8 ish, but even now at 11 and 9 they struggle to translate things. They just understand and respond.

What I'm saying, is she may understand more than you think 🤷🏻

Have you had her hearing tested? My daughter is exposed to three languages but has not picked up the third, which was introduced last. We realised that her hearing has been bad since around the time the third language was introduced. She had her operation a couple of weeks ago and is already showing signs of picking it up. Her hearing would have been normal when the first two languages were introduced so no developmental signs there.

I found some of my dcs teacher’s to be remarkably ill informed about how children gain a language ( I am a teacher myself so not teacher bashing). We were hauled in on several occasions because they didn’t know basic words ( sieve being one🙄). They both started school at three, were pretty silent for two years and then settled down and did well - both got mentions in their French Bac.
It’s a long game.

Thank you all. Yes I think if it were just me I wouldn't be worried but the school are really on my back about it. She definitely doesn't seem to retain information as well as other kids, its not just the language she forgets people names and stuff too but in English she is very verbal. Her hearing has been tested and its ok. I wish they would just accept her a bit more but they're basically saying she won't be able to go through school here like this and we'll have to privately educate her in English ☹️

Can one parent solely speak the "adopted" language otherwise she is going to default to English. Is the school able to access a system to explore how she is getting on to see if there are any underlying issues?

Don't do what Marblessolveeverything suggests unless one of you is near to native speaker level! You'll make things worse by teaching mistakes especially in pronunciation and grammar!

Instead - does she have friends who only speak the target language? 1:1 time is probably what she needs - some children function happily in groups without needing to understand much language, some are happy on the sidelines, some are left out but know no different or don't mind... For many children and adults 1:1 communication is a more effective way of learning languages than simply being "immersed" in a situation where you can let things flow around you and disengage slightly.

So playdates 1:1 multiple times per week.

If she hasn't made friends try to invite any likely candidates - get her teacher to suggest a couple and/ or try neighbor kids if any are potentially suitable.

If you can't get playdates going try a local babysitter who doesn't speak English or who can handle refusing to speak English. My 16 year old "babysits" for a 7 year old to teach him one of her native languages - she understands his other language but is old enough and self aware/ self confident enough to refuse to speak it and chivvy him to use the target language. She plays with him for two hours and eats dinner with the family and during that time they all speak the target language, which the parents aren't fluent in either. Everyone involved seems really pleased with the arrangement and it has apparently helped incredibly well with language acquisition for the little boy and to a lesser extent his parents have benefited too - she's been going twice per week since September. It's a nice arrangement for all concerned.

Additionally your dd may have a processing issue - this is fairly common and isn't a big deal but is something that she can be helped with and which in many countries school are legally obligated to make reasonable adjustments for (more time in written assesments, tasks explained individually, ensuring she personally knows what the homework is not just addressing the class as a whole etc.). It is worth getting her an assessment - whwre I live you go to your pediatrician who refes you to a pediatric center where the child has a multidisciplinary assessment. Following that you get an official letter with any diagnosis to pass to school/ kindergarten plus a recommendation for you as parents on which types of interventions (OT, psychologist, speech therapy, or whatever) to seek - you go back to your pediatrician with the letter for a referral and then set up the appointments armed with the referral...

Its afaff but worthwhile.

What language is it? Does she play dates with friends that speak that language?

I like the idea about the babysitter @ThatsNotItAtAll - we did have a bilingual babysitter but perhaps she spoke too much English. She does have play dates in the language but like you say they tend to play in parallel and she can get away with minimal language, however I have noticed that most of the language she does use is mainly related to playing so I think that's important. I agree a 1:1 setting is likely to help because otherwise she just switches off

They need to give her more time. I'm my son's school there are quite a few families who don't speak any English and their children translate when the teacher has something to say to the parent, this was in a year one class so age 5-6. The child could speak fluent English and translate.

It takes a lot longer than the mythical "6 months" at any age. I know children who were born in their adopted country but because they speak English at home, don't have the same level of fluency as their peers.

4 year olds learn language through interaction so because your DD is interacting with you at home in English and with her friends through play in her second language, it is bound to take longer. She's not really engaging with the academic side of learning at the moment, not because she isn't able but because it's normal for her age not to.

There are 5 stages of 2nd language acquistion and speech emergence is the 3rd, so given that your DD is still learning how to speak her mother tongue, her school need to stop being frustrated with her and appreciate how much harder she is having to work than her peers! It's worth noting that anxiety causes the rate of language acquisition to decrease and your DD might be feeling this. Google Krashen and Terrell if you want more info about second language acquisition.

On Netflix and YouTube you can watch children’s programmes in other languages. My dd would watch hours of peppa pig in her new language it’s very effective. Put the radio on at home in your new language and we only read at night in local language children’s books. Constant exposure in the home too.

Thank you - some really useful and reassuring points. We do basically need to up the 1:1 interactions then. Yes we do cartoons but I'm not sure how much it helps, she doesn't want to watch the ones where they speak slowly and clearly... seems like maybe she could still be within the normal range of learning it... just needs more time and exposure

I can’t believe the school are writing her off aged 4! She’s still tiny. Some children have difficulties in their first language at that age.

Don’t let them worry you too much OP. It sounds like you have really good suggestions here and I bet she’ll catch up.

Are the school doing anything to support her? Most schools I’ve worked in provide extra support for children with English as a second language. Because if they’re just saying ‘oh her French is bad’ that’s not exactly helpful, is it?

I will say though I’ve looked after some kids who speak only Polish/Romanian in reception. Some of them pick it up quickly, some more slowly and with more support. It’s no good just saying X child has bad English.

The school doesn’t sound very good. Do they have much experience with second language speakers?

The thing is… two years and a half at that age is quite a bit of time for her not to speak the language. I agree that parents should speak to kids in their own language, otherwise the local language will take over completely but hiring a nanny/sitter who only speaks on her own language to the child is an excellent idea. Some friends’ child picked up Arabic from her nanny, she also speaks her parents’ language and got English from school.

Most books I have read about the subject say that children who are raised with more than one language take longer to start talking but once they do, they soon overtake their peers. This was certainly the case with DS.

Please bear in mind, however, she may not have got the gift of languages. I have been learning English for 45 years and I am still pretty crap at it!