From London to Singapore with teens (vs Dubai)

[GoodWillRising]

We have a job offer for Singapore and while we'll only go if the offered package is persuasive I'd love to hear your thoughts.

We have 3 kids: 14, 12 and 10…they’re pretty happy in their current life.

One is thriving at a top London secondary school, and getting that place has been a lot work…giving that up now seems a bit daft. This DC used to be shy and timid and is now thriving with a lovely circle of friends and doing really well considering the teen years have started, so there's a lot that could be upset here by relocating. If I could leave them here I would…(but no to boarding school, being together as a family is what we want)

Our middle one is at an outstanding inner city state secondary school, which we're so lucky to have gotten into, but even though the school is doing their utmost, it is a bit of a rough environment, so if I could take this DC out of there and move them to a bubbled expat environment I'd love to do just that.

The third DC is doing the 11+ in winter. Age-wise this would be an ok move I guess as they’re just about to change schools anyway.

So my question is:

What are schools like in Singapore?
And what do teens do there all day, is it great with teens?

I only ever hear of people moving to SG with toddlers and then sending their older kids off to board

Alternatively we could do this job offer from Dubai, but that’s off the table, isn’t it?

I wouldn't want Singapore and def not Dubai (grew up in ME). Is there no uk option?

We're currently in London...so that is the status quo.

Would be curious to hear why you don't like Singapore?

I was 11 when my DPs took me out of school to the bright shiny expat life of the 90s ME - no idea what its like now, however it was amazing when I experienced it - , lovely school, great friends who i am still in touch with today. generally fabulous life - the issues started when we moved back 4 years later (had been told at the start it would be 8-10 years) which would have got me through the international school there. I came home and it took a good year to settle back, bullying different friends, it was cold, there wasn't the same sports and social life ( pool and tennis club, became hanging out in a local park with MD20/20) My parents were happier there. i'd say do it - as the experience we had was amazing. just think carefully what happens if it all ends quickly for whatever reason - how would your DCs cope coming home.

I was born in Singapore but that was 50 years ago. I've been back a few years ago with my kids and they loved it.
In the evenings there were loads of sports going on, people socialising, it has a real buzz to it. I seem to remember that property is expensive but I guess the new company will help with that.
There is a big expat community although my parents also learnt Malay so that they could talk to the locals. We lived there for 11 years.

It's really difficult as a 'third culture kid' to come back and settle. Your kids are quite old to do the move. I would have gone when mine were pre school and got them back settled in the uk for secondary, I wouldn't move at your ages.

I think it’s child/family dependent. We’ve just moved with older teens such as yours (one older than your eldest!) not to Singapore though. A little bumpy in places (the move still new) but that is to be expected. Go with your eyes open and be responsive to issues that arise. They could have the time of their lives in a different environment. We also gave up outstanding secondary school places in London (one state, one private) but what those schools have done is given them a strong academic basis and self discipline.

I think academic issues is the easiest thing to solve these days with everything accessible online.

Good luck with your decision making.

For me the decider would be how long you will be there for, and what you would do regards schooling when/if you return to the UK. If the intention is to move between international schools until your youngest finishes that might be easier. DH reluctantly turned down a job in Singapore when ours were 5-15, I would have done it in a heartbeat with younger kids but we had already moved them across the world and didn’t feel like we could put our eldest in particular into yet another school system. As teenagers ours always loved Singapore for holidays but most people we know who went to live there did so with young kids.

Thanks all for your advice and experiences! I appreciate that.

Yes and I can hear you reminding me of thinking ahead, this stands out most...what happens when we return? A great question actually and I hadn't properly considered it.

@plumstone nd @follygirl you must have had a brilliant youth!
@acapulco all the best with your new life, sounds exciting
@nearlyspringyay thank you, off to google third culture kids
@Flatandhappy we might take the same decision as you have

We'll mull it all over now. Thank you

The package is really important here. If fees at one of the big four or five schools are included, then your kids should have a great time. Most teenagers here have a great lifestyle because it's so safe; they can be out with friends at all times of the day and night without a worry (pre covid anyway). Schools have a ton of sports, arts, STEM clubs etc for them to throw themselves into. If fees aren't included, or only are for much smaller schools, they may well have a worse time though. Just fewer opportunities all round.

Life as a teen in Singapore can be a lot of fun. The international schools are very good and there is a culture of achievement and lots of sports/ activities. It's safe and teens can have a lot of independence. You can choose between UK and international curriculums. It's relatively easy to have DC at different schools because there are buses and public transport is good. However, timing is important - we have just moved back from HK because we want to ensure that our DC go through years 9-11 without changing schools and we weren't prepared to commit to the 5 years for that to happen (2 DC with overlap). For you, that would be more like 7 years, by my estimates (not sure which year the 14 year old is in).

The other thing is that there is more competition for places at the big name schools than a year or so ago as there is a mass exodus from HK so that's important to consider. Rents also gone up for the same reason.

I think Singapore would be hard for an older teen, things that would be seen as minor offence here could be life defining there: drunk/smoking weed etc. These are just my perceptions as a visitor so I don’t know what the reality is like.

It you're on FB join the page Two Fat Expats, you will find loads of great advice in there, it's a super friendly group

I moved to Singapore mid pandemic with my teenage kids, we've done numerous international moves. @Ulelia and @PrisonerofZeroCovid sum up what it's like - mine are thriving at a great school, have so much freedom and a great quality of life. Covid measures are still in place here but things are a lot less strict than they used to be. Worth knowing depending on your timing. I think your biggest consideration is how long you will be here. We have made the decision to stay until after they've finished school to avoid further disruption. It's not fair to move them mid GCSEs or A level/IB. So you'd need to think about the "exit timings" based on your youngest....