Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Living overseas

Whether you're considering emigrating or an expat abroad, you'll find likeminds on this forum.

Moving to the US

9 replies

fullofpips · 11/01/2022 11:56

Planning a move to the US and having a wobble. Know it's the best thing for our family but would love to hear from people who enjoy living there as all I read about lately is doom and gloom. Feeling a bit low at the minute Sad

OP posts:
itwasntaparty · 11/01/2022 12:19

Where about a, US is a big place. Fil and His wife have been in CO for years and they love it, we've loved it when we've visited.

There's a lot of places I wouldn't want to live in, like anywhere else.

fullofpips · 11/01/2022 12:25

Moving to Northern California. About 45 mins to big cities but is a fairly quiet community. My parents live there so familiar with the area. Just hard to see the positives when I'm so stressed about the move!

OP posts:
KobaniDaughters · 12/01/2022 06:01

I’m in SoCal though am British and looking to do the opposite move - the overwhelming stress of it all definitely is tinting the plans and I think that’s the main reason I’m getting cold feet. Between the U.K. and the US at the moment, neither exactly feels like utopia does it?!

Pugroll · 12/01/2022 06:23

It really depends where you're going and why you're moving. It sounds like perhaps to be closer to family? Which should hopefully make things easier as you have a support network of sorts already in place.

ZZTopGuitarSolo · 13/01/2022 16:22

Well, I enjoy living in the US, but I'm about as far from NorCal as you can get - I'm in Maine.

The move was very very stressful. I didn't enjoy anything until we'd arrived, and I was still pretty stressed until we finally sold our UK house which took another 2 months, at which point we could buy a house, settle down, get ready for school, etc.

We've been here nearly 15 years now and I'm very happy. I actually used to have dreams that we'd moved back to the UK without me being consulted, and I'd wake up sobbing!

What are you worried about?

Some things will be worse in the US, and some will be better. I found that not comparing lifestyles or costs really helped me. I just focused on making a life where we ended up, making sure my kids were safe and happy and having fun, and becoming a part of my local community.

fiveminutebreak · 14/01/2022 06:07

We moved from the UK to the west coast about 2 years ago. It's been a strange time in many ways mostly due to Covid.

I really like the community we're in (though there are parts of the US I would definitely not want to be living in). It feels pretty safe for kids. People, on the whole, are very community-minded and there are, usually, lots of local events / sports to get involved with. Check out your local parks and rec.

The plus points for me are - standard of living is high in comparison to the UK. If you are both working, then you'll likely be on good salaries and able to afford more luxuries than back home.

People are positive and pretty friendly - though it does take a while to build up a network of friendships and connections, and we are just now beginning to feel like we have more than one or 2 people who we would consider friends.

Our kids absolutely love school here. They love getting the bus - it helps them feel a little independent. They have made great friends.

The school community is a great place to meet other parents. Just make sure you have thoroughly checked out which school community you want to be in, before you rent / buy a house.

There are lots of interesting places to travel to - we're hoping to go to Canada and Hawaii in the next year or so. And our kids have been able to do things like learning to ski, kayaking, swimming in lakes and rivers, hiking up mountains, enjoying vast empty beaches..

But it's been a massive culture shock too, and some of that is hard to define.

I can understand having a wobble about making such a big change. I really struggled before we left but felt better once we were here and beginning to settle it.

There are a lot of positives and a lot of negatives to living in the US - but then many people would say the same about the UK! But I think one thing I've learned is that wherever you are, it's the people who make the place feel like home. So you already have some family here and that will make it easier.

BritWifeInUSA · 15/01/2022 01:55

I love living in the US - however un-MN that may be. I wouldn’t move back to the UK. I came here to be with my husband (he’s an American born and raised here). So, I had a “family” here already in terms of in-laws but I was all alone in my British-ness, which was hard. My husband really helped me to settle by explaining things, introducing me to how things are done, etc but he will never be able to understand the stress of not being able to get Branston pickle in your weekly shop, for example!

Are you coming on a family-based visa (son/daughter of US citizen)? If so, you’ve had around 15 years to prepare for this during the visa processing and wait for your PD to be current. And I assume you have spent a lot of time with your parents here so you know it’s not all guns and medical bankruptcy here, unlike the average MN view of life here. So I’m not sure what you’re scared of or how those of us that live here already can help. Have you spoken to your folks of your fears? They know you better than any of us ever will.

In my case my only “fear” was whether I was making the right decision to spend the rest of my life with a man who I’d never spent more than 3 weeks with during 4 years of long-distance dating and marriage. It sounds like that doesn’t even apply to your situation.

Have you got work already lined up for when you arrive? I had already secured a job before I came and that helped me settle. I had to get right into the routine of work immediately, rather than spending the first weeks/months as if I was on holiday.

Like others, I prefer the lifestyle here. I feel people have a more positive outlook. One thing I really cannot stand in the UK (and it’s very prevalent on MN) is the competitive misery everyone seems to be obsessed with. Everyone seems to want to be poorer, more disabled, more disadvantaged than anyone else and wears their misery like a badge of honor. All they can talk about is how awful their lives are, and how hopeless everything is. I find people are much happier and healthier here. People enjoy enjoying themselves. Another thing is that I would not have been able to cope with all the “rooolz” in the UK during COVID, especially having lived in this freedom for so long. People “reporting” people for buying certain things, leaving the house more than once, or hugging their granny…they would have had to put me in prison before I stood for all that. That would absolutely never have happened in this state. Or probably not in any state here, come to think of it.

I enjoy the sense of space here, the pride people have in their home state/city, the sense of community, the lack of judgement for your lifestyle choices and people understanding what it means to be free.

A big mistake would be to constantly compare everything to the UK. It’s not the UK. It’s different. Embrace the difference.

The cost of living is higher but the standard of living is much higher too.

I’m very happy here. I now have US citizenship and plan to be here for the rest of my life. Sure, I still miss fish and chips and the sight of thatched cottages. I miss my parents and siblings and a cozy pub. That’s why I go back every other year to dose myself up on those things. But this is home now.

fullofpips · 15/01/2022 13:13

Thanks everyone. Sorry I haven't been back on to check the thread until now.

@BritWifeInUSA I am American, moved to England 8 years ago to live with my husband (and have since had a baby) and while the plan was always to move back to California, it was meant to be 2-3 years not 8! So it feels like a lot of time has passed since I lived in the US and I've forgotten a lot of things. You make a lot of great points. I feel like it's easy for me to get caught up in reading UK based articles about the US which heavily fixate on health care & guns and it does feel very doom and gloom sometimes. Need to just focus on the positives for now.

@fiveminutebreak really appreciate your response, sounds like you've really cultivated an amazing life for your family there.

@ZZTopGuitarSolo the moving is what's tarnishing it all for me, it's so overwhelming and I keep thinking "I hope this is worth it" so it's good to know that eased off once your house sold! We have some good offers so I'm hoping ours goes quickly!

@KobaniDaughters yes absolutely! Hard to know where is best to settle until you just go for it, I think!

OP posts:
BritWifeInUSA · 15/01/2022 16:47

@fullofpips my advice about this go gerd us he eG listen to people who don’t live here. I laugh when k read on here (not the expat section but other sections of the site) where people who’ve, at most, spent two weeks in a “villa” (in other words a regular suburban home) in some sketchy part of central Florida to “do Disney” think they know everything about living here. They haven’t a clue. Just as the same as people here don’t have much of a clue about the UK. When my husband tells people his wife is British he gets all the usual comments about tea (I’ve never drunk tea), bowler hats, bad teeth, and all in a Dick van Dyke-type attempt at an accent.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread