Moving back to UK from USA?

[GreenishGrass]

I’ve been living in the USA almost 15 years but am considering moving back to the UK. Covid has made my homesickness more pronounced but if I’m honest I’ve always thought of the UK through rose tinted spectacles and feel at this point like I’m almost grieving a life I didn’t live there (especially with family getting older etc). Has anyone else felt similarly and made the move? I do like my life here and my family (2 kids aged 10 and 6) are very settled. Also materially I know we’re much better off. But I just can’t let the idea of moving back home go. If you did move back how did you find it? Thanks in advance for your thoughts on this.

We move back in January after 5 years in California

The change in day to day life is a big change, but, I love being home. I love being close to family. I love how much easier everything feels in the UK

Yes, we had more money in the US, but the cost of living was so high

I don't regret it at all. My H is taking longer to settle back, but it was the best decision for us.

We moved back to Ireland from Canada after similar feelings and we were definitely looking at this side of the world through rose tinted spectacles. Better quality of life on that side of the world IMO.

I’ve lived in both us and uk. Consider uk my home and have lived here much longer. On paper the us (where I was anyway) would ‘win’ for my circumstances more space, far bigger house/land, cheaper utilities/food/services, astonishingly better customer service/day to day trades/etc, higher income. BUT nothing ever really compensates for wherever you feel is home. Plus the NHS and better social realities generally (not wholly).

I've just moved back after several years in Asia. I'm currently regretting it but it's only been 8 weeks!
I think if you have a 10 year old you need to get on with it otherwise it'll be a difficult transition for him/her

It's tough isn't it? You've described the feelings beautifully, especially about grieving for a life you haven't lived. I feel exactly the same. I've been in the US about 12 years now and I just want to go home. I feel I've done my time. However my DH doesn't want to go back at all and says he has nothing for him there anymore (he has no family ties) It's very hard when that pull gets stronger. As you say, there are many lifestyle benefits to being in the US but that's not necessarily enough. I'm also interested in what other responses will be.

My DH is American, I met him over there whilst at college. We lived there for just under 5 years, I was very homesick and thankfully due to his qualifications and sector was able to secure a job quickly here. I haven't regretted it at all, we had an amazing time there but life feels more comfortable here, I love being around family and covid aside, it's been fine visiting. But everyone is different, I think whichever way the move is there's an element of rose tinted glasses for the other place. I know it's tough at the moment, but could you try and get back here for a few weeks? Make a point to not do loads of stuff as you wouldn't be doing that when working etc.

I do think it's extra hard now as with Covid none of us have been able to go home to visit and so the feelings of missing out get much stronger. So that throws in an extra wrinkle.

If you are considering moving back though, now is a good time, before your dc start secondary. Academically you have a couple of years still, but logistically and socially, I think it's easiest for them to start with their cohort---easiest for a school place. Eventually it gets impossible for kids to transition systems.

I loved living in the USA but my dd has sn and our insurance bill would have taken out any higher pay advantages

How does your husband feel about moving back?

What are your prospects if you do move back? What lifestyle could you afford? What are the job prospects?

@gogohm

I loved living in the USA but my dd has sn and our insurance bill would have taken out any higher pay advantages

Surprisingly we've done quite well here with SN. That's the thing--it's so variable. If you have good insurance and your employer pays a lot of the cost things here are very nice. It's when they don't that it's horrid. When we lived in Pennsylvania, one of mine automatically got Medicaid (not tied to our income, because of his SN) so everything was free.

I reckon that some of the things we have had done on insurance here would have meant going private in the UK so it balances out a bit more.

I'm American and my husband is English.

When we married, I (and my three-year old son from a previous marriage) moved to England and lived there for nine years. I had two additional children and we were settled and I was truly happy where we were. Unfortunately, my husband lost his job and he couldn't find another so we moved to the US and started our lives over. We've been in the US for 17 years now.

My husband has really loved being in the US. He has had decent work opportunities and started his own business and has begun another. He especially likes that we do have a good standard of living here.

I'm not so thrilled.

My parents are now both deceased. My hometown is 750 miles away and my only sibling is over 1500 miles away too. My children are now grown. I have grandchildren but I don't see them often due to distance. The other two are moving to opposite ends of the country. I don't have any real reason to be in the US anymore. My husband has both his parents still but one has a life-limiting illness. I feel as though now or in the very near future, we should be returning so he can spend more time with his parents. I suppose it's because I know what it's like to be without them. My husband shrugs and says that we should but the conversation stops.

I've asked my children and my sibling for their advice. They've all said. "We will visit you wherever you are and we have Zoom now!"

I'm ready for a change of life. I've lived in the same city for 17 years out of 30. Maybe I'm just tired of the same place and should consider a relocation to a new city within the US. To be honest, that idea doesn't excite me. Out of me and my husband, I'm the one with friends I left behind and still speak to on an every day basis. Thanks to social media, I still connect with my former neighbors, my former workmates and I hang out with them when I'm back in England.
If I have any time off and money, you'll find me back in the UK. I'm homesick for a country that isn't even my own.

I get you more than you know, @GreenishGrass

OP... I could have written this myself! I have been in NYC for almost 10 years. 2 kids (4.5 and 7weeks) and covid has totally made me want to move home. I always theoretically wanted to move back eventually - I am close to my family and miss them terribly, one of my brothers has a kid now and my folks are super involved. And it just looks so nice! (Plus just got my medical bill for my hospital stay for the baby... FML🙈). Covid has definitely accelerated the desire to get back. Not going to happen for a while for me though as DH is American and while has always been up for moving to London, has some family stuff that keeps us here for now. I hope in the next few years we can move back though. I'm not sure about the rest of the states, but I reckon life in NYC is much harder then life in London unless you are super rich. This city will always be my favorite place in the world but once you have kids... family support and a nice local park seems more attractive 😂