Trailing spouse & lack of control

[Wheredoibelong]

I think im looking for some words of wisdom really...

We moved abroad with my husbands job 4 years ago and thought we'd try it for a couple of years then reassess. Trouble is that everything is essentially going well and there's no real reason to move back, not least the lack of jobs. I am not unhappy where we are but with 3 young children I am thinking about their longer term education and the lack of seeing family and friends (exacerbated by covid of course).

I never imagined it would be a permanent move and although it isn't necessarily I am finding the lack of any certainty about when or if we will move back to the U.K. difficult to get my head around. My husband doesn't seem to mind and said he is happy wherever we end up as long as we have enough money and a comfortable lifestyle. I can't really pinpoint very good reasons to come back to the U.K. right now other than homesickness. And I have no control over it because I am not the breadwinner.

Can anyone relate? How do you cope?

Where abouts are you? If you're in a country that has a similar education system to the UK I guess you can play it by ear a bit... but if you know education will be better long term in the UK maybe make your first one starting high school the cut off for moving back?

That's what we're doing. So it gives us a couple more years overseas then we're planning to move back to the UK for their secondary education..

I'm the trailing spouse so it gives me a sort of certainty about our plans.

Even though you're there for your DP's job you should still get a say about length of time you're in the country, especially if you've had to put career plans on hold...

Thank you for your reply. Yes I guess that could make sense as a cutoff. It would be a much longer stay than I anticipated but at the same time it could be beneficial, we're in Switzerland. I know theoretically I should have a say in it all but realistically when all the finances are reliant on DH's work, if there's no U.K. job then there's not much I can do!

Hi there I am in Switzerland. It is one of the toughest places to feel at home in according to the market research. I am an education consultant here working with both the public and private sector schools. Happy to answer Q