Tips for American kids moving to UK

[MooritRomney]

My husband is English but our children have been born/raised in the US up until now. I am American but studied in England and so have lived there before. The children have visited the UK but they're currently 7,7, and 4 and the visits were all pre-COVID so they don't remember anything. We're returning (amidst the delta chaos, eek) due to family issues.

The children already have places in school and we have a place to live, so the logistics are pretty well sorted. I am curious to hear if others (especially Americans) have tips/advice for moving with similarly aged children. For one thing they'll be attending a traditional independent school and I imagine the school experience will be ...somewhat shocking for them since they attended a free-spirited forest school program here!

I don't have any tips I'm afraid, but I'd be interested to hear suggestions from others, hopefully this bump will help.

I’d say the best thing you can do if you’re coming over the next few weeks is get them involved in some play schemes over the summer. It will give them a chance to get to know other children and adapt to our quirky English ways.

When you first arrive go on an adventure around the local area( pick the places that look best for groceries/takeout/libraries/parks etc together)
Get them used to crossing the road and looking in the opposite direction!
Kids generally adapt and the more you can make them feel at home/involved in the process the better.
Good luck!

Talk to them about school uniform as I imagine that would be very weird from a US perspective. Practice tying a tie or make sure you have the elastic sort if they're allowed. Quick run down on Premiership football (I am not in the slightest interested in it but my 8 yo got quite anxious this term due to not knowing enough about the Euros). Poppits and other fiddle toys are a massive craze at the moment so get them a load off Amazon for instant trading in the playground popularity.

Also a 'traditional independent school' will have a billion different pieces of uniform and kit so get iron on and stick on labels, a laundry pen/sharpie and label absolutely everything - and get DC trained in looking out for their stuff or you will be forever trying to track it down. Worth asking if the school has a second hand uniform sale over the summer too, to avoid spending a fortune.

If they are going to private school, having class mates from a different country shouldn't be as much of a novelty for their class mates as it perhaps would in a state school so I imagine they won't become the class novelty. Be prepared for them to pick up the local accent pretty quickly. I agreenif you are over before school starts then get them in some holiday clubs, especially the 7 year olds. Dont worry too much about football, my DS is English through and through and doesn't know a single thing about any football teams. The best thing to do if you are not interested in football is to own it, I think kids quickly pick up if you are faking it.

School holidays.
iirc US schools typically have a Xmas break, a spring break, and a long summer break. Along with a load of odd days off for public holidays.
My 2 couldnt get their heads round half terms, and at least a week off school every 6-7 weeks.

Will they be expecting to take their own books/equipment in? Generally at primary it is all provided for them.

Do they currently come home for lunch?

The 7 yr olds may find maths is a little ahead atm. Might be worth looking at that over the summer. We like CGP books. If you need them in the US now, bookdepository.com should deliver to you.

Crash course on football, English geography we used this jigsaw.

Even I, a 48 year old British adult with zero interest in football find I need to know a little about it in a school environment or I have no idea what people are on about...it's just so pervasive.

Although to be fair, something called the "World's Series" appeared to be quite pervasive when I went on exchange to N America .

Is there no way you could put them into a forest school in UK? I think the shock of moving from forest school to sit still, shut up, work hard might making it more difficult for them to adjust.

If you can't, make sure they get loads of outdoor play in lovely places and invite their new friends over for campfires and to do lots of outdoor stuff at weekends so they don't think the UK is too strict and boring.

You could do a few words that arent the same in American English, like crisps and chips, sidewalk and pavement. It obviously isn't too important but might help with some confusion when making friends.

Get some British treats for them to try. Then when a friend offers them a "sweet" theyll know a sweet is "candy" and what it'll taste like if they've tried it before because some British and American foods actually don't have the same flavours and tastes and they really dont want a mouthful of marmite thinking itll be like peanut butter.

My husband was raised mainly in the US to British parents and returned briefly at 4-7 and permanently at 14.

Depending on which state you are now there may be a humidity difference when you get to the uk, my partners parents adapted quickly but he struggled especially the first stint here and his parents wouldn’t listen when he complained of being hot and uncomfortable as he was used to a drier heat so perhaps be a bit more lenient on wearing lighter clothes until they adjust even if they don’t seem wrapped up enough.

Plus he struggled with leaving his friends each time so his mom organised some photos of friends into a scrapbook and got as many as possible to sign and write messages and kept it handy during the move so it seemed less lonely until he got a group of friends at the new school.

Would concur with pp who suggested trying uk sweets though, still occasionally finding childhood favourites of mine he hasn’t tried!

Thank you all for your tips!! I so appreciate it.

@Danikim151 are play schemes like day camps? We will be living with my in-laws initially while we try to find a rental (an estate agent I contacted told me there is currently a rental crisis so … that bodes poorly) and there is a village school down the road from them but I haven’t found anything about a summer camp on the school website. It’s very, very small so maybe they don’t have enough demand?

@Phineyj they are not keen on the uniforms. I think it’ll ultimately be fine but it’s just so, so, so different from what they’re used to. They don’t even wear shoes at their current school. Ha! Good tip on reminding them endlessly to look after their things though. I bought a name stamp, so we’ll have everything marked but I dread them losing jumpers and sports kit, everything is so expensive! I think their school uniforms are more expensive than any clothes I own. We chose an independent school due to a variety of factors and are scrimping to make it work, but I definitely made a request to see the secondhand uniform cupboards at the school because it’s mad how expensive the basics like shirts and skirts are!

@Hellocatshome We have raised them in a very rural area so I imagine they will still be very novel to their peers. There’s much less difference between London children and New York City children (as an example) than London children and US Farm kids! My in laws have moved to the south but my husband was raised in the north and he’s already grimacing at the prospect of the kids sounding posh (though I will find it hilarious).

We follow cricket as their Dad is a massive cricket fan, and they are really looking forward to actually getting to play since there is no cricket here. They do play soccer/football since it’s a huge activity for kids here in the US. I was really surprised to see that their school uniform list included football boots for boys only. Don’t girls play football??? My daughter was quite annoyed as she’s a much better player than her brother!

@PeonyTime My kids will have no trouble adjusting to holiday time, haha. They don’t currently come home for lunch, though they do cook their lunches over an open fire! Given the pandemic and the nature of their wild schooling they will most certainly be “behind” their peers in maths/reading but I’ve had a long conversation with the headmaster about it and it should be fine. They’re really very bright kids so I think it’ll all sort itself out and they’ll catch up quickly.

@Phineyj we don’t follow any American sports and there have been some very funny playground conversations as a result.

@LifesNotEnidBlyton they have a decent British vocabulary because of their Dad, who also has a massive sweet tooth so trying a selection of sweets will definitely be an activity he’ll lead for them. Lol

@Sophinwonderland honestly the problem will be getting them to wear clothes at all! They’re accustomed to no shoes and no shirts!

I was really surprised to see that their school uniform list included football boots for boys only. Don’t girls play football??? My daughter was quite annoyed as she’s a much better player than her brother!

The problem there is you sending them to a traditional private school, unfortunately your daughter will find many annoying things like this at that type of school. Gors football is a big thing with a lot of opportunities, she will probably have to find a grassroots team rather than rely on school though.

If they are boys, they will need to learn the rules of cricket & rugby, because at traditional private schools they will be playing plenty of both.

Yes to play schemes being like day camps. The local council often run them, try looking at Facebook pages/groups for your local area, or on your council website. Ours runs lots of multi-sports sessions that are free.

Private companies often run multi activity camps out of different schools in the area. The one we use operates in our school for 2 weeks and then moves to another school in town - you don’t need to be a pupil at the school to attend. Our Leisure centre also offers multi activity days which are considerably cheaper. There are girls & boys football camps locally too and probably a girls football team. Your daughter might want to look up netball… ( maybe hockey??? ) since those are popular girls sports too.

I quite intrigued that they are moving from a school where they dont wear shoes to a traditional private school. Thats quite a change. Did you not consider a state school? My kids in state primary go to a forest school every week a lot of schools do.

School is going to be a massive culture shock, so I'd just prepare them to expect that. It will be much more formal than a even normal US state school, and the uniformed, Sir-and-Miss culture will probably be a rude awakening. RE classes, acts of worship will be alien to them.

Best thing you can do is try to foster one or two friendships with classmates before they start school. Can the school help with that? Or at least a classmate appointed to meet them and help out on the first day.

I would focus relentlessly on the positives. There must be a reason why you chose this school. Great sporting opportunities? Art facilities? Music? Whatever it is, sell it hard.

And be ready for them to hate it and cry - not because it's awful, but because it's so different. Just sympathise when they do. Try to give them a timeline: things will feel much more normal to them by October half-term, for example, and you can compare how lost they were at the beginning to how much more confident they feel by half-term/friends they have made/things they've learned.

To get a little taste of the Forest School vibe - see if there's a Woodcraft Folk group around, or Scouts or Guides or something. They might like that.

Even I, a 48 year old British adult with zero interest in football find I need to know a little about it in a school environment or I have no idea what people are on about...it's just so pervasive.

Yes generally, although at one very traditional private school where I worked, nobody ever mentioned football. They were all obsessed with rugby.

We moved here when Dd was 7 School was a big shock, she hated uniforms, as she'd been in a hot state and never needed so many layers of clothes unless we visited the snow in winter.
Set them up to stand up for themselves, Dd was bullied in underhanded ways about being American.

@Barwell76

I quite intrigued that they are moving from a school where they dont wear shoes to a traditional private school. Thats quite a change. Did you not consider a state school? My kids in state primary go to a forest school every week a lot of schools do.

Our first choice was the local primary school, but one of our children has special educational needs that couldn't be met by the local primary school. This particular independent school can meet all the criteria of their education plan, so we ultimately went for that. The school is very traditional but I did describe to the headmaster that our children are semi-feral and he laughed it off and assured me there was plenty of tree-climbing and den building. It seems like there is a good balance but it will be a massive change. My husband went to a very traditional school and has been telling them lots of "When I was at school" stories to try and make it all seem less strange.

@Farwest

School is going to be a massive culture shock, so I'd just prepare them to expect that. It will be much more formal than a even normal US state school, and the uniformed, Sir-and-Miss culture will probably be a rude awakening. RE classes, acts of worship will be alien to them.

Best thing you can do is try to foster one or two friendships with classmates before they start school. Can the school help with that? Or at least a classmate appointed to meet them and help out on the first day.

I would focus relentlessly on the positives. There must be a reason why you chose this school. Great sporting opportunities? Art facilities? Music? Whatever it is, sell it hard.

And be ready for them to hate it and cry - not because it's awful, but because it's so different. Just sympathise when they do. Try to give them a timeline: things will feel much more normal to them by October half-term, for example, and you can compare how lost they were at the beginning to how much more confident they feel by half-term/friends they have made/things they've learned.

To get a little taste of the Forest School vibe - see if there's a Woodcraft Folk group around, or Scouts or Guides or something. They might like that.

Yes, it is very formal. My MIL went to check the school out for us and said it reminded her of when she was in school -- all the children stood up when the headmaster came in the room, etc. We are not Christian so I've had to do a bit of work explaining what chapel is and why they'll have to go every morning, etc. We're just going to chalk these things up to cultural exchange, it'll be very different but as you say hopefully the good will outweigh the bad.

We chose this school for it's SEN provision and because it is excellent in Art, Music and Sport which all of my kids are very excited about. My son in particular wants to do every single sport on offer. They've had a great nature education here in the US and can use knives and build fires but they've never had an art class or played a sport other than soccer so there will be upsides to the change too.

Scouts is a good idea. Might try that!

If you want them to do a week or 2 of 'camp' this summer, they're often referred to as 'summer schemes'. Some schools run them but in my area they are mostly laid on by leisure centres or sports clubs. If you can find the local council or leisure centre's website they may have details.

My kids in state primary go to a forest school every week a lot of schools do

Including lots of private schools. Traditional private schools still spend a lot of time outdoors, especially now (they’ve had the space to move lots of lessons outdoors this last year).

I think they'll be fine, OP. My DD (8) goes to a fairly traditional prep and went virtually feral during lockdown last year (I was having trouble getting her to consistently have knickers on, for fear she'd appear in a Teams call nude). But in September she put her uniform back on no problem.

Covid has had a beneficial effect on uniform. DD hasn't had to wear a blazer or a ridiculous hat for a year now (because they're not washable).

Regarding sexism and school sports, DD's school used to not offer football to girls but some parents pushed back and now all sports are on offer to both sexes. Once you're on the parents' WhatsApp, you can start a campaign.

And they also have forest school, although only up to year 2.