Background: DH and I moved abroad last year because I received a job offer here. DH was not happy in his previous job and was very keen on the idea of moving abroad. We're not in an industry that generally provides relocation support except for the most senior positions, so we arranged everything ourselves (though did get some financial help from employer). When I say we, I mostly mean I. I found us a place to live, arranged the move, sorted out what we had to do to move our pets, etc. I have an EU passport, DH doesn't so had to apply for a residence permit. I looked into what he had to do, how to apply, what info to provide, etc. I felt like it was my responsibility to do these things as it was me that instigated the move.
Now that we're here though, little has changed. To his credit, DH has managed to find work here within months of moving here. Aside from that though I wish he would just show a bit more initiative? I feel like in pretty much every sphere of life he assumes things will just fall into place/he'll be told what to do. I suggested now that we're settled and both employed we can afford to buy a car, he doesn't want to (yet) because "he doesn't know how the car buying process works here". I said that next month there's a bank holiday and if he also has that day off we could go away for a few days. He doesn't know if he can because "no-one told him if he gets bank holidays off", and he can't ask HR because "he doesn't know how to contact them". I've been (as much as covid allows) trying to meet people, joined a sports club, etc - he isn't because "he doesn't know where to look for clubs to join". I feel like his mindset is "I don't know how this works, so I can't do it" rather than "I don't know how this works, so I'll find out".
When I accepted the job offer here we were in agreement that we both wanted to move abroad. But now that we're here, I feel like he's making little effort to make the most of it? I'd be interested to hear from others who moved, especially if they are/were the trailing spouse: AIBU to expect DH to show a bit more initiative? Or am I underestimating the challenge of being the trailing spouse and should I support DH more?