Sydneysiders and other Aussie mums, lend me your ears (and opinions!)

[Hamishsmummy]

Hi,

Just been granted permanent residency in Aus and we need to decide whether to move NOW (ie, in the next six months) or LATER (in the next five years).

The biggest reason for not leaving now is of course, family and friends, and how much they will miss our 5 month old ds. But I'd love it if someone could remind me why we want to leave rainsodden Blighty (can you tell I'm talking myself round here...?)

Thx in advance x

Lived in Sydney for 12 months with DH after having been sent there with work to do a maternity leave cover - lucky me. Moved back after the end of the assignment as I was 7 months pregnant (slightly more baggage than I had planned on returning with). The thought of becoming a mum for the first time so far away from family was a bit too much for me however....
Despite being delighted with the arrival of my DS I have found it really hard to settle back in the UK after Oz. It's hard to describe but living in Sydney makes you realise how hard we makes things for ourselves in the UK. It just wrks over there from the transport to the recreation facilities to their general attitude on life. I can honestly say there is no better gift to give your DS than to give him the opportunity to grow up here. Many times my DH and I fantasise about returning but due to my MIL's recent death it is out of the question at the moment. My parents are devoted to both my DS's and would have a major issue should we ever move over there however I frequently ask myself the question, do you live your life for your parents or for your kids.IMO I would move now and start making the life for yourself and put down roots. If not it will be sooooooooo much harder for both family and your DS. I have been renting 5 mins away from my parents for the last 9 months after having previously lived 4 hrs away and we are about to move away again (told you we had found hard to settle) a similar distance and they are finding it all really hard to come to terms with.

SD72, thanks v much for quick post. You have confirmed so much of what my dh and i have been thinking about. We were in Aus in 2003/04 and loved it so much we want to return to raise a family there. DH is worried we'll have a situation like you describe re MIL and so would rather go now that have circumstances prevent us. 4 minutes, 4 hours or 24 hours away from parents eh?

Thanks again x

I'd check the stipulations on your visa conditions first.

We had 7 months to validate our visa (by either moving here, or the main holder (dh) coming for a holiday) then we had a year to make a permanent home here, but we can come & go as much as we like for the first 5 years.

You may not have much of a choice, depending on your visa & subclass.

Similar stipulations you have sandcastles, except all three of us must make initial entry; and there is no requirement to make a permanent home within one year - just the 5 year visa window after which we would apply for citizenship, or apply for a different visa if we were to leave and want to come back.

Remember the citizenship laws changed on 1st July this year. You now have to live in the country for a total of four years after arrival before you can apply for citizenship, it used to be two (periods spent abroad don't count). That's why we made sure that we arrived on 29th June .

Personally in your situation I would go sooner rather than later. We've just moved to Sydney with our three kids (14, 8 and 4). DH and I met here 18 years ago and always intended to come back, but life got in the way! Over the years the closest friends I made in England were through having kids and watching them grow up together. These are the friends I really miss now, as do the kids. Friends I made at work were never as long lasting.

Remember, it doesn't have to be forever. If you do come out now and last long enough to get citizenship you and your kids will have options about where to live for the rest of your lives. Are your family likely to come and visit? Will you be in a financial position to make trips back to the UK? How close are you to your family in the first place? These are the things you need to think about before deciding if it's right for you. The fact that you have applied for PR presumably means it's something that you want to do.

Thanks for info on citizenship laws. I think we are leaning towards the sooner rather than later option (well my dh certainly is). SD, you say that the friends you make watching your children grow up are the strongest - I totally agree. I am making friends now that I know I will miss so much when we leave. I feel like a fraud as I know we'll be upping sticks in the near future to live in Aus leaving friends behind . I'd miss my family too but I reckon they'll visit.