Moving to Brittany - bi-national couple and kids

[RelocatingtoFrance]

NC for this

I have been unexpectedly offered a job opportunity in France / Brittany - the position is a little bit less secure than my current one, but more exciting (my current job is high workload, customer facing, and i have grown to resent several aspects of it as I miss the creativity of the earlier years i was in post, which disappeared when i got more senior).

I am French, settled status, have been living in UK for 23 years. DH is British and so are the kids - their French range from ok (DH and DC1 - 12) to v basic (DC2 - 8).

I was originally dismissing the opportunity but DH reminded me that I am miserable in my current job most week, and that this could be exciting. He is right of course: thinking about it reminded me of the excitement of my own move to the UK, a country that I really love.

That love has taken a few hits with Brexit of course, but nonetheless, I enjoy my life here (bar my very well paid, but bleak job). I love my house, my neighbours - but I know that we do not have family roots here (DH from opposing end of country) so could easily up it and go. We regularly move houses anyway (every 5 yrs or so, doing up places and then moving up) so this would just be a bigger leap, which, ironically, would take us closer to DH parents

The cons: I do not know Brittany (this would be in one of the main big cities), my family is in the South. I am not sure if the DC would cope well, especially since DC1 is due to start secondary and DC2 s French is baaaad regardless of me talking in french to them. And I worry that I see France with the rose tinted glasses of someone who left the country in the 90s.

Is anyone who made the jump willing to share perspectives?

I think in the current climate, id be very tempted to at least try.

the more I think about it, the more tempted I am... but I fear that this is me thinking like a 20sthg, and not a middle aged professional with kids and responsibilities.

I hate the idea that I could be "settling" rather than take that leap of faith - but is it worth sacrificing what is a very stable life where we are?

Anyone got exciting things to tell me about moving to Brittany? esp for kids and DH

Hmmm, I’m half French and spent a while working in Brittany - I didn’t find it very friendly or forward thinking but it was very beautiful. If it’s in Reims I would be more tempted as i think it’s a great city and good for young people.
I also prefer the school system in England so wouldn’t want to put my kids in French schools unless I had to.

Having said all that, if you were talking about the south of France I would jump at the chance and make it work!

What would your DH do? Are there job opportunities for him?

I would give it a go.
anybchance you could get britsh citizenship before you go to keep your options open?

I can try getting the British Citizenship sorted as I would have til about next Autumn before I d start.

DH has his own company in the UK, so we d need to study the implications of keeping it in the UK and taxes etc.

@PippinDog - def not in Reims

My kids have done the opposite, gone from the French school system to the Australian one, and for them, school is a breeze and they are flying high.
Compare to the huge amount of work they had in the French system, the level of the books they had to read and dissert on, the hours and hours of homework, the frequency of the evaluations (weekly in many cases) , they found the Australian system (vey similar to the UK one) easy and relaxing.
They found this focus on wellbeing strange and almost amusing, since they are used to the comments from teachers to be far more direct.

I am not sure how the other way round would work. You were in the system a couple of decades ago, so you can remember how it was. I don't think it has changed that much.

But kids adapt.

I envy your opportunity- go for it!

thanks @Cormoran - that's useful. FWIW, with homeschooling, the DC have been put on a learning path more alike what I did at school, so it might help the transition

I was very academic and so is DC1 - i think she d be fine. DC2 is more challenging and more fitted to UK the education system. I am looking at international schools in that area too as a potential option...

Also to think about, taxes, NHS / secu for DH, housing and affordability

From what I know if you live in France and have assets/business in UK you have to spend half the year in UK to avoid paying tax to French govt. This may well have changed with Brexit so check.

We moved to France when my eldest was 11, youngest 6. They found it hard. My DH is fluent, has a business in France. It was not so much the language but the culture of school - such long days and so much rote learning. My middle child was made to stand in the corner facing the wall for the rest of a lesson because she voiced an opinion in history (challenging the teacher) - something that they were used to coming from UK.

You know the system as you are French. It's a tough decision for you. There are a lot of expats living in Brittany! There are good and bad things about UK/France. But for us, school was a much happier experience back in UK (and this was with my DC doing very well in French schools, they all speak 2 other languages besides English etc.)

school is a tough one. The DC s current school is naice - respect motto and wellbeing and committees - but the learning is pants.
DC1 is shy / very quiet but bright - and never pushed or challenged.
DC2 is a clown, although possibly brighter, but willful, and equally unchallenged

It seems fairly standard for the class, nothing personnal about my DCs. I m not sure if it s me expecting too much, but the kids themselves say that they learn more at "homeschool". Maybe our school is just mediocre.

DH is looking into Brexit and taxes - he could not really be 6 months in the UK so eould need to think about the tax (and whether there is now a "double hit" with taxes in both UK and France)

There is also the work culture - they all start early (8am!!!) and finish atound 7pm. I m not sure i ll get used to this again even for the long lunches

There is no streaming system in France, and discipline is a lot tougher.

Content wise, the French system covers so much more, in all subjects. It gives you an incredible "culture générale" , especially in history, literature, philosophy, and I would add also on general politics and social issues.
I definitely integrate what they don't learn in class with books at home. It is a must for us here.

The day is different as you rightly pointed. Nobody, not even toddlers, has dinner at 5 or 6, more like 7.30 or 8, kids go to bed later as well.
The food and snacking culture is very different. Nobody has take aways or eats all day long or needs a water bottle to stay "hydrated" .
Food wise, you will be a winner, with the local markets, great variety of veggies and real bread, not that spongy toast.

If you do go, then sort out British Citizenship first. Once you have gone two years you would have to apply for a visa to return despite being married to a British National

Is the position offered a cdd or a cdi? If the former I wouldn't take the risk, it is a temporary contract with no guarantees. If it is cdi then I would consider it. Brexit may have messed it up re your DH business though.

in my line of work, it s ... neither or a bit of both
can t say what without saying too much
basically, there is always a risk of it not working out but there is a "track". Let s say that I have never heard of anyone ever taking that type of role and being out in the street at the end.

DH - yes, Brexit is a fucker and we have everything to learn / relearn. He is asking a friend who lives in france but works for a UK company.

I lived in Brittany (Vannes) for 20+ years. It's a lovely part of France , especially if you are near the coast.
The climate, however, is very similar to the south of England.

Our dcs were born here but are Irish. School has never been enjoyable but man, they learn a lot and now we have one finished and one about to do the Bac, we see how character forming it is. My ds is now doing medecine in Ireland and taking it in his stride because of the preparation he has had.

@pinkhousesarebest totally agree, the amount of work and the expectation that is required will stay with them forever. If you do a shitty work in France, teacher won’t put a smiley sticker with “ great effort” on the page but tell the child to redo it.
The fact that from the earliest age, they have to learn poems by heart builds a great memory which will help with uni. Writing papers will become easy as they have to write hundreds of pages in the course of the year.
School in France is not meant to be fun, it ‘s school, period. Teachers make severe comments on work badly done or rushed and to avoid them , one works harder.
Somehow, this school system will harden kids and make them stronger with way less children with anxiety or mental health issues because they grow up hardened.

I've got Breton friends who currently live in Paris but are moving back to Brittany soon. They don't regard themselves as French really- so as a French national might you face prejudice if you move there? Just a thought.

thanks all for the school perspective - seems nothing has changed: this was very much my personal experience in the 80s, and it is character forming. Might be a shock to the DCs , who, despite my french take on feedback, are used to learning needing to be fun (that ain't happening for homeschooling though!).

@joystir59 - yes, quite possibly. I come from a similar French region where people believe they are different / not french / independent. Having lived in England and Scotland, both DH and I have experience in not being "from" - so not terribly worried.

I ve looked at taxes though - bloody hell - tax tax tax tax and more tax

Cormoran my dd is left handed and had real problems wielding her stylo plume in CP. Mostly her writing was ripped out of her book and consigned to the bin but sometimes would survive, scored in red with SALE!! written diagonally across the page.

 She is now a bolshy, opinionated teen so it didn’t do her any harm.

@pinkhousesarebest I can totally picture that!! France to the extreme. However there should be a middle ground between the British cotton wrapping I am seeing in Australia where a child's feelings shall never be hurt, the need for regular praise and the tough soldering and no bullshit approach of many French teachers.

Probably too late to help the OP, but I've lived in Brittany for 20 years, brought up my 2 DC here (one was born here) and so never had the difficulty of changing schools from UK to French. The Bretons are very welcoming (except sometimes to Parisiens) and it's a lovely part of the country. I know more and more people who are re-locating from the South of France because the weather is too hot there - yes we have rain but not the flooding in other areas of the country and when it is hot here it is hot enough. Lots of lovely coast line and beautiful countryside and Rennes is a small but lively student city.
You also have the choice of private or public school - mine have done both but private is best for children less 'autonome' but it is very strict and the days long compared to the UK!