Brexit and partner preventing me moving back to UK - advice?

[CroissantMuncher]

I keep flip flopping back and forth in my head. I've posted about my situation before, you can read my ramblings here if you fancy:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4040724-To-leave-France

Basically I've been feeling the urge to go back to the UK for a year or two now. Lots of reasons, namely friends, opportunities, and now I've had a bit of a breakthrough in a creative field where it will just be easier and more exciting if I were back in the UK.

However my french partner will not consider going to the UK. In fact he won't consider moving to another region in France either

Other than this our relationship is supportive and steady. Brexit also has me hesitating. Is it stupid to go back now? I can get a residency permit now that will allow me to leave france for up to 5 years and still come back.

In my gut I just want to go back. But at the same time I wonder if I'm throwing it all away... Life in france... My partner. I really love him. But I also feel angry and resentful that his attachment to his region seems to trump my preferences? I dont want to hurt him or have regrets.

I'm making myself ill turning this over in my head. Can anyone help me see clearly?

Having read through your old thread I think yours is a problem of being in a relationship with someone from a different culture who is basically a home body. Of course he’s not going to move - he has a business in the town where you live, a dying mother and he is surrounded by family. He loves you, but not enough to give up his business (which let’s be honest is not in any way portable) and move away from his family. That’s his choice to make. You have to choose whether your desire to return to the U.K. outweighs your desire to stay with your partner (because it doesn’t sound as if he’s going anywhere and the more the years go by the less likely he is to move). You met on his home turf - you were already uprooted, his roots run deep. That’s just a fact - I have friends married to similar Frenchmen. I also live in France (Paris), but my DH and I are both English. I love living here and DH’s (and my) job is here, but we still have the occasional discussion about going “home” to the U.K. (the DCs find it hilarious that we call it home) so I totally get where you are coming from. The questions I would be asking myself in your shoes are 1. Do I see myself living in this French town for the rest of my life with this man? 2. If not - do I still want to live in France? If the answer to 1. Is no then the answer to 2 tells you whether it’s worth hanging around for nationality (or a carte de sejour). If you are determined to go home then at your age and in your shoes I wouldn’t be wasting any more time dithering - move back, crack on and get on with the rest of your life.

I also read and replied to your other thread.

LillianGish is right. Your dp has deep roots and will never move, judging by everything you've written.

The choices she sets out are simple but not easy.

Or you could try a long-distance relationship, admittedly not practical in covid times.

I think, though, that this may be the way forward, at least once you have your residency. You'll get to pursue your career path and test your love. It may also make a future break up easier, logistically speaking.

I also feel angry and resentful that his attachment to his region seems to trump my preferences? I dont want to hurt him or have regrets.

Break ups hurt, but we heal in time.
Life is full of regrets, but do we not regret more the things we didn't dare to do?
Resentment can kill love. It has in my case, or at least grievously wounded it.

I must say that this last point colours my advice.

I've just read the end of your last thread, op.
You seemed to have come up with a workable plan of staying and buying a house yourself and making frequent trips back to the UK for work and to see family. What has happened to make you change your mind about this?