Help me sort out pros and cons

[MogsHeade]

We're in Singapore, have been away from the UK for a few years. Generally, we love Singapore - weather, travel, safety, etc. However, I am really starting to miss certain things about the UK. A possible job has come up and I really need some help organising my thoughts on this. DH would prefer to remain in Singapore but mostly because of travel opportunities - which aren't possible right now, so is open to UK. DCs (teenagers) would both prefer UK but are happy in SG.

Aspects of our life and where it is better, SG or UK:

Countryside - UK
Education - UK
Jobs - same
Pay - SG
Friends - UK
Family - UK
Weather - SG
Travel - SG* (not covid)
Safety - SG
Covid - SG

Is it a really stupid time to be considering returning to the UK?

I’m surprised you say education is better in the UK. Can you explain that?
Moving teens is difficult. Moving teens into a UK school, depending on their age, extremely difficult.

They are in an international school here but there are various things that aren't brilliant. They would return to their old school, which suited them much better.

How old are they?
Do you have confirmation their old school will take them?

They are early teens. Not confirmed re the school yet, but I'm pretty confident.

Life is short. If you can see more of your family here and the kids want to move back, do it. Not everything on your list bears equal weight on your list (I assume!)

Would returning to the UK make a difference to your children being classed as local students for university when it comes to that? You may have limited windows that work best for moving teenagers in terms of schooling, if now works it could tip the balance in favour. Getting them settled back in the UK might not mean you couldn't return to working in Singapore in the future.

It really depends on the weighting’s of the issues on your list.
DH and I (no children) are in Australia on year 3 of a 5 year career break. In the next year we will really have to decide if we will stay for good or move home.

For us everything is better here except for family and some friends but because those two issues are so huge we are struggling to make a decision.

Either way I would be tempted to leave it until at least May to see how things stand in terms of COVID.

Yes re university - we need to move back within the next 4 years for this reason.

It's really hard to quantify the weightings, especially Covid. We're at very little risk here currently. But equally, we cannot leave the country and social distancing in schools mean they are in the same seat almost all day with no break time. I'm not sure how to weigh that up or how long it will be like this for.

I used to live in SG (without children) so I understand your predicament. For travel, there are travel opportunities from the UK. We travelled every other month on average when we were in SG so ticked most things off. At the time my parents were in Thailand so we hopped to and fro a lot. I think kids, even teens, are resilient. I think the safety, whilst better in SG, is just something you get used to. My lifestyle is so different now, I found expat life really transient. It was great for a few years but I still see the UK as "real life". I've lived in a couple of different countries so maybe I'm just a homebody at heart. In a different relationship now and my DH has zero interest in even travelling to Asia so I'm glad I had the opportunity.

Yes I understand that as we are struggling to decide too.
Schools in the U.K. have similar restrictions for pupils in early secondary school (same seat in same classroom) though they do have more breaks.

We came back to the UK, from somewhere a lot less attractive than SG.
I'd add to your list cost of living, which may cancel out the higher SG salary.
Also, if you have young teens, as soon as one starts on GCSE's your windows to move become few and far between, as it's best to fit into moving at the start of Y10 or 12, and not at any other point in those 4 years - and if the kids are 1 school tear apart the window before A levels closes.
I'd also check your preferred school in the UK doesnt do the crazy "pick GCSEs in Y8 and start them in Y9" route.

I am interested in the idea of 'safety'. I would guess that your children's life would be very 'safe' here unless they were a demographic that were vulnerable to inner city gangs etc.

Safety here - kids can walk, take public transport, taxis anywhere with no concern at all. UK - probably fine but definitely you have to be more cautious. Also for me as a woman, I fell much safer here.

I think your perception of (lack of ) safety is a bit heightened.

I live in London and none of my family or friends live our lives feeling ‘cautious’. My teens walk home at night, take night buses etc.

I dare say the stats are worse here, but much serious crime seems to be criminal-on-criminal.

Is it is a big a factor for you alongside education and income?

If I were in your shoes, if I were to stay I would now stay until the children finish their education. Friends become increasingly central to teens’ lives.

Also, do they still have their old friendship networks in the UK?

I would have thought that too, until I lived in Singapore. It really is extremely safe.

There is no way we can stay until the DCs finish their education, as university is impossible to plan for from abroad. It needs to be at some point in the next 4 years. We had planned on 2, but covid and everything has really got me thinking about going back sooner.

How does it work with them paying 'domestic' (tuition) fees & possibly qualifying for UK loans, don't they need to be living in UK for at least 2 yrs before they start UK to be 'home' students? If both at least 13yo now, seems like you really need to move back soon.

I would miss Singapore weather too, but sounds like you know yours are university bound for sure (but do you?)

It's 3 years you need to be in UK by

I love in beautiful SE town on outskirts of London

Weather is fab. Lovely summers and mild winters

Safety is incredible. Very very safe

I love love love where I live

I never ever lock my back door as my son always losing his keys

And I leave my car keys in my side glove compartment!

* social distancing in schools mean they are in the same seat almost all day with no break time. *

Appalling and very very different from my children’s eduction atm.

Sport every day (triple rugby on a Tuesday!)

So IF they go to Uni right after school, you need to be in UK no later than 16th birthday of the oldest one.

How often do job opportunities like this come up?

Yep exactly.

Jobs do come up every few months. this does look like a particularly appealing one though.

Covid-wise I'm struggling to rationalise which is better.

I guess in a few weeks you'll be able to see how Brexit pans out. That may make a difference to job offers and where you want to be.