Moving away from family

[Sunshinecat]

Hi,

I am from Ireland but moved to London in 2011 to live with my English boyfriend. We married and had twins in 2012. After a couple of years I felt like I wanted to move back to be close to family and so we did move back in 2015. I have since regretted it and am at a point now where I want to go back to the UK. My husband wants to go back too. There are many reasons for this but here are a few: My husband still works in London so financially we would be better off, I have a lot of close friends over there as does my husband, I cannot cope with the summers in Ireland and barely see any of the friends I do have here. We are quite isolated bar our family. I would feel terrible leaving them but my dad has a great social life and travels a lot, it’s just my mum that is now moving to the town I live in 👀! We would be “happy” for her to move with us though as we want to live more in the countryside. I’m thinking of giving it a year to let my mum settle for a bit but I feel like it’s now or never or do I just stay here wishing I was somewhere else all the time. It would also mean my kids have to change school to. Am I being selfish and unreasonable?

What’s selfish about it?

With your husband working in the U.K. do you and the children only see him at weekends? Personally, I’d really want my family together.

With regards to your mum, can she still pull out from the house move? It’d be unfair to move to a different coutry just as she’s moved to be close to you.

Thanks for responding. I should have been clearer, she’s moved 10 mins down the road to a nicer area and has been trying to move for the last 4 years it’s just only happened now. She does want to be near me but wanted to move here anyway. We wouldn’t be moving for another year so she would have that time with me etc, and she would probably follow us over to the UK eventually.
My husband before COVID was travelling early tues morning till thurs night weekly so it wasn’t too bad but yes Id much prefer us all in the same country and the kids did find it upsetting at times. It’s tough because my mum will be devastated when I decide to tell her but I do feel like I’ve spent the last 5 years holding off any plans to be there for her. I must add she is well able to look after herself etc.

It can be difficult for parents. My mum struggled for a bit too. However, she took up some hobbies and a job (even though she’s retired). That means she’s busy, around people and doesn’t rely so much on her children.