Moving to France

[CookieMonster22]

Please help I am so confused. My DH has just been offered a job in Paris that is an amazing opportunity with a salary 3x his current one. He is really keen to go for it but I am not sure.

Can anyone offer any advice on the following?

A) We have a 9 year old son with asd and severe learning disabilities (genetic condition). In the UK he has an ehcp and one to one support at a special school. My DHs new salary will pay for him to be home educated but I am wondering what life in general is like for children (and long term adults) with autism/learning disabilities in France. Also whether, if France does not work out, whether he can easily get his previous support if we move back to the UK.

B) I will have to give up my job if I move with him. What is life like in Paris as a trailing spouce and are there any recommended neighbourhoods for expat families? My French is only rusty gcse at the moment.

C) One option we are considering is for my DH to move to France before the end of Brexit transition so he can get residency and if we like it for me to bring the rest of the family to move there at a later date. In view of the above do people think this sounds like a better plan than us all going as a family now? Obviously covid is a complicating factor especially if there are more lockdowns.

Any advice would be much appreciated. I have not had time to do any research yet as it has all happened very quickly.

If you/DH are happy with the commute/separation, I would go for option 3. However, I'm not sure about how the residency thing works with Brexit but for us we had to be resident for 5 years and paying French taxes/children in education to get residency. So just make sure you are clear on that.

ASD/LD does not have the same resources or provision in France although if you are going to be anywhere, Paris is probably the best place. I would not recommend the French system for your DS if nothing else than for your lack of French. Moving your family will be complicated enough for you without adding in language difficulties. Can your DH's company stretch to the British School (private and expensive)? The areas around Croissy/Le Vesinet are awash with expats which would be easier for you with your lack of French. They are also lovely suburbs, the French version of Richmond in London. There are also other international schools - the american one is more central - as well as schools with international sections but unless one or both of you speak "proper" french, you will find it very complicated on top of your DS's additional needs. Homeschooling might lead to you feeling very isolated and it is quite rare in France.

Hth. Please message me if you want to. I've been through it all and back.

If you plan to stay in France long-term your child will need to be in the French system. Chances are you would not find a school place for them, more likely they would need to be in am IME (the equivalent of a special school but run by social security not education nationale). If you are planning on staying long-term I imagine that home schooling could get very isolated. I can probably give you more advice on what it is like to have a disabled child in France but don’t wish to out myself so would prefer a PM if you want more info.

I live in France but not in Paris so not sure how useful this is, and it is purely anecdotal but my friend’s son is autistic and had to do the last year of primary twice because she couldn’t find a high school to take him. She had to pick him up from school at lunchtime to eat at home for several years because he couldn’t cope with the canteen and nothing was put in place to help. He is an older teen now and doing ok, but school was a struggle for years and she is French and knows the system as she is a teacher. We are in a rural area and things might be very different in Paris, but I think it’s worth doing tons of research into what provision is available to make sure it’s suitable. I don’t know what it would be like here for someone who didn’t speak French. There are quite a few retired British people here who don’t speak good French, but they have each other to socialise with. I think Paris is a different world though and as pp have said there is a large expat community.

Contact Sprint Paris on bringing up a child with SEN in France. Join the FB group english speaking mums in Paris. There is specialist autism provision out there but it is patchy and obviously geared to French spealking kids.