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Living overseas

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Only been here two months and I have to fly home!!!

7 replies

sunnydelight · 05/09/2007 07:38

Title says it all really. We arrived in Sydney on 29th June, moved into our house after three weeks and I've only just started to feel settled. My dad went into hospital shortly after I left for an operation which initially seemed to go ok, but he then deteriorated rapidly and now his GP says it's the "beginning of the end" (he's 82) so I have spent the last week trying to decide what's the best thing to do (I think I was just in denial). I finally decided that I really need to go home and try and see him while he's still alive BUT it's APEC in Sydney and not the best time to travel. I'm now booked on a flight out of here on Monday, arriving in Ireland on Wednesday, and the whole thing is just horrible. The anniversery of my mum's death is coming up and my dad is now in the same hospital where she died with pretty much the same symptoms. My only family is a sister 200 miles from where my dad is (she said she'll come for a night or two while I'm there) and I just feel so crap. I've booked for two weeks and can't really stay much longer (leaving DH and three kids in Sydney). I really want to be there for my dad but apparently he can only cope with visitors for 10 minutes or so at a time and to add insult to injury the hospital he's in is over an hour's drive from where he lives so it's not like I can pop in a few times a day. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH. Just ranting really, but wondering how anyone else coped so far from home when it all goes tits up!

OP posts:
brimfull · 05/09/2007 07:43

oh god,sorry about your dad.
It is awful being so far away from family (mine live in Canada) and I'm dreading the start of this.
There's not much else you can do besides be there for him,you're doing the right thing.

superloopy · 05/09/2007 07:44

This is one of the worst parts about living on the other side of the world to your family. I'm am back home now in Oz after 10yrs in London and it was always in the back of my mind what would I do in this situation.
Luckily I never had to make any mercy dashes home. Sorry this is happening to your family. Have a safe trip!
I was watching the news this morning and Sydney must be a complete mess thanks to apec!

arfishy · 05/09/2007 08:25

Oh SunnyD I am sorry. What a nightmare for you.

AnnainNZ · 05/09/2007 10:43

SunnyD sorry this is happening, especially when you've only just got over here.

My dad died last year and I did the flight from NZ-Uk on very short notice to get back to see him. On the Saturday my mum was still saying I didn't need to get back, on Sunday the hospital advised me to come back, on Monday I booked the flight and on Tuesday I flew! I got to the hospital 11am Thursday and he died 6.30pm the same day. All I can say is I was SO SO SO relieved I got back to see him, in fact the relief was so great it took some of the grief away. Me and my mum were holdign his hands as he died and althouugh it was incredibly sad, it was so much easier than if I'd arrived "too late", so to speak - I think I coped a lot better because I spoke to him before he died and was with him and saw how peaceful it was.

So all I can say is that I think you are doing completely the right thing to go back, though it's obvioulsy unsettling.

Sorry for the long post, but I was in a very similar position last year and, like I say, very glad I made the trip back.

SSSandy2 · 05/09/2007 11:23

It's good you're going. I got there too late.

sunnydelight · 06/09/2007 13:19

Thank you all for your kind messages - they really help! I won't be online for a while so I'm not ignoring anyone else who posts but this is one of the few places where people really know what it feels like to be so far from home so it's nice to feel supported when your mates seem so far away.

OP posts:
slim22 · 08/09/2007 01:36

your doing the right thing.
I dread being in that situation. So sorry.
maybe you could stay a few days in a B&B near hospital?
It's not going to be easy being on your own in the house. Can someone stay with you?

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