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Living overseas

Whether you're considering emigrating or an expat abroad, you'll find likeminds on this forum.

Original poster

Question: Would you emigrate again? Regret or not?....discuss

66 replies

chinwag · 27/08/2007 08:19

It's something I have considered but don't think I could leave my family, and not sure the kids would cope.

I am interested to hear you views.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 29/08/2007 20:42

What do you do, twinset? Are you in teaching? I doubt your career would suffer in such a case.

expatinscotland · 29/08/2007 20:43

We're considering all options ourselves, for the next couple of years.

fortunecookie · 29/08/2007 20:44

hello twinset! what happened to your wedding plans?

fortunecookie · 29/08/2007 20:47

sorry to hijack.

back to the subject: I've moved from country to country so many times that "emigrate" sounds strange. We just "moved".

btw, I'm sansouci/sauce in a new incarnation

EmsMum · 29/08/2007 20:51

I'm glad we had a couple of years in the US. Good experience and it SO made me appreciate Britain! That was before child though.

Califrau · 29/08/2007 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

twinsetandpearls · 29/08/2007 20:53

I teach but I teach RE so unless I taught in a religious school, which I don't really wan to do I would have to retrain to teach something else.

I am purposefully trying to broaden my experience so that when we emigrate I will have as broad a cv as possible - so I have taught PSHE, IT, philosophy and child development and this year I can add English to the list. I am also hoping to start teaching some psychology and perhaps sociology as well as some cross curricular work. I ahve also entered middle management. I will probably give it another four years so I can see my year group through and get more management experience.

I am also involved in local politics and would like one day to this on a biiger scale, I couldn't do this if we emigrated - or maybe I could.

On a practical level I worry about my pension if we emigrate.

As for the wedding, we are eloping next summer.
We are also enrolling dd at a very good private school and I would feel guilty about taking her away from that but dp says that perhaps we would not need to send her privately abroad.

twinsetandpearls · 29/08/2007 20:55

Unemployment is quite high in Canada - that also worried me. Dp is also looking into New Zealand.

I also love living in this country - we have a reasonably good life. I worry that because we live in a shithole of a town now we are desperate to emigrate but if we lived somewhere nice in the UK we may not need to leave.

fortunecookie · 29/08/2007 20:55

Brilliant.

Othersideofthechannel · 29/08/2007 21:05

"Uk for kids is looking pretty grim at the moment unless very wealthy"

Why do you say this mylastrolo?

I'm in France so probably don't get the whole picture.

kindersurprise · 29/08/2007 22:00

I left UK long before I had children, but have never regretted it.

Saying that, at the time I thought I was going to work abroad for a year as an aupair. Then I met DH.

Since the DCs arrived, my feelings have changed a little. I sometimes feel a bit guilty that my parents only grandchildren are so far away, but they visit often and we get the webcam out quite a bit.

What made a big difference was my parents retiring and being able to come and visit for a month at a time, that really helps the DCs English skills too.

I agree that you do have to be really positive, especially the first 6 months or so. It is much easier to make new friends through the DCs than it was when we were alone.

Nightynight · 29/08/2007 22:09

I wouldnt go back to the UK by choice.
Poverty, small houses, dirty streets, cheap bad food, lack of public transport, competition for good schools, being a subject instead of a citizen, no support from authorities in dealing with violent ex.

twinsetandpearls · 29/08/2007 23:17

where are you nightynight?

Isababel · 29/08/2007 23:22

OK, until I came to this thread I thought I had finally settled here, and now I'm willing to move around too!

welliemum · 29/08/2007 23:34

We love NZ and have no regrets. The distance from family is the only thing really - but we don't think arranging your entire life around where your family lives is a good idea necessarily.

Nightynight · 30/08/2007 00:19

twinset, in south germany, where most things are good except unfortunately the school system, which is a pile of shite for single, working parents.

Last weekend, I took the children to a lake on the edge of the Alps, where we all swam. On Sunday, we went to the mountains and found an ancient tree and picked blackberries. And none of it cost more than half an hour's petrol!

expatinscotland · 30/08/2007 00:45

ooo, where in S. Germany, if you don't mind my asking?

my ex H is half-German, half-American. his mum, now deceased, was a Bavarian, and he is currently living in Stuttgart with his second wife (an American) and lovin' it. no kids, though (that's why we divorced).

he keeps extolling the virtues of Continental Europe to us. and as our eyes are open, we're keeping all options open.

ernest · 30/08/2007 06:59

bloody hell, and alpine lake you're brave. even the open air pools were too chilly for me.

Exp, check out switzerland then, like s. germany, only miles better. but I admit, i am totally biassed

scienceteacher · 30/08/2007 07:01

I'd be very open to another international move if it were a company move with full expat benefits. I couldn't do it and be poor.

eidsvold · 30/08/2007 07:17

i did it the other way - went to the UK to travel and work - met dh and the rest is history as they say. I had dd1 whilst in the UK and dd2 was on the way.

I found it hard even being single for the first few months - possibly even the first year - you know - first birthday away from home, first christmas etc.

However I always intended to come home - had dh and I had no choice but to stay in the Uk then I would have HOWEVER - am sure that the quality of life we have for our three dds far outweighs that fact that my IL's have never seen dd2 and 3. I have not seen them since 2004 although dh went back last year.

Distance and illness are the hardest to deal with - the fact that FIL was very ill and died not long after diagnosis made it difficult for us being the other side of the world and I know MIL is finding it tough at times being without FIL - along with the fact that her only grandchildren are the other side of the world.

BUT for our children and family - moving (back in my case) and to ( in dh and dd1's case) Aus was the best thing we could have done.

WHen dh went back last year - he came home - as he said it and said he is so glad he left and he could not see himself ever living in the UK again. SO much so that when his two years was up and he could apply for Aus citizenship - he did pretty smart.

I know it is not for everyone but I think whilst you think you will miss family and friends - to us our priority was our children and to do the best we could for them in terms of lifestyle and opportunities. Our IL's whilst missing us dreadfully know it is best for us.

KTeePee · 30/08/2007 07:23

UK is "overseas" for me and while I am now very settled here I don't think I will ever feel "British" - so ultimately I think I will move but it might not be until we retire!

The only place I really have a hankering to live in is the US. Dh has also spent a lot of time there and while he loves it as a holiday destination he doesn't want to bring up kids there for some reason.... I would definitely give it a shot for a couple of years (even with kids) if it was up to me...but not the easiest of places to emigrate to from a visa pov!

PrincessGoodLife · 30/08/2007 08:18

Would I emigrate again? Yes. It has meant that we have the life that we have always wanted and it was proving impossible to achieve in the UK.
Any regrets? Sometimes. Missing family and friends so much. Missing out on seeing my sister's and my friends' kids growing up (that's very tough). Being far away when things get tough and you just need a good chat. Webcam, skype, telephones, and cheap flights do help but it isn;t the same.

You said you were worried about your kids coping. On the whole, I think younger kids will adapt after a few months and get on with things. That's what my DS did. He was 2.10 yrs old at the time. He spent 2 or 3 months being a complete devil and taking it all out on me (for taking him away from his comfort zone I expect). But he is thoroughly adjusted now after a year. This is home to him. On the other hand I emigrated with my parents when I was 12 and I was a real pain in the backside to them for a good 2 years becaus I hadn't wanted to move. So I'm guessing that it will be more difficult with older kids - they have to want to move.

mylastrolo · 30/08/2007 10:51

othersideofthechannel concerning quote oh never been quoted before well just topical with kids killing kids etc...... incident in liverpool. We live in a very affluent area only because of d/h job. Drugs are rife everywhere even in my we home town in Ireland scarry. It seems to be one lifestyle for those who can afford it. Everyone wants to do best for their children. I worry, the way and attitudes how things are going here. Canada always fancied living there. Need to do some research and ideally a year there would be great to decide it for us if possible.

have been spied on here have to go continue when i get a minute to myself

oliveoil · 30/08/2007 10:56

we emigrated to Canada and then came back, I was pregnant and was all homonal (ie insane)

we are at the moment going through the rigmarole for Australia, should HOPEFULLY get the green light in about 5 weeks

I personally would rather the regret the things I did than look back and think "what if"

sunnydelight · 30/08/2007 12:00

We've been in Sydney just two months now so it's early days, but basically I'm pretty convinced we have done the right thing. It is SO beautiful here, people are really friendly and I love the whole outdoors thing. I never wanted to live in the UK although I ended up there for 17 years, so I was very happy to leave. I've had a really difficult couple of weeks as my dad in Ireland is very unwell and there is only my sister there and she's 5 hours away from him. If I was still in the UK I could have flown home to see him. Even with that though I know this is the right place for my kids to grow up.

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