Moving back to the UK and leaving husband behind

[Ellie4280]

We moved to jamaica in July with our DD who is four - shortly after that I found out I was pregnant. We’ve now been here nearly six months and I’ve been very homesick and haven’t settled as I have done before (we are seasoned expats). As a compromise I’ve said I will stick it out for a year until next July. Baby number two is due in April. Plan is for me to go back next summer and hubby to stay until next Xmas as I can’t bear the idea of being here with no family/friends support in a place I am very unhappy living in. Our hope is I can make a visit back during this time but will be very hard on him. We need him to stay here though as we need to be on two incomes in the UK who won’t happen until January 2021 when I can feasibly go back to work. All that aside it would be good to hear from anyone who’s done similar and lived apart overseas from one another?

My DH lived in Australia for 10 months finishing a contract whilst I was at home with our DDs. It was hard but ok too. You just have to get on with it.

DH lived away for 5 months between moves. Its doable and in a way was harder on him than the kids and I, we just kind of cracked on. He did a few crazy trips there and back with killer jet lag but that was better than the kids having it.

Do you have support back home? New born baby and 4/5 is tough irrespective of circumstances. Will the older one start school? You need to be clear in your head why you're making this choice and all the reasons for it, because I can guarantee that at some point whacked out on little sleep with a new born, and dragging both kids out somewhere in the cold and rain --- you're going to resent him. So make sure you have back up for when you need it, abd he can't be there.

Hey thanks for the reply - yes, my sister and parents live in the same small town as us so would have lots of support, plus my daughter is already at school. Which here we have to pay a lot for, partly why we think moving back home would also of benefit as we won’t be shelling out for school fees.

We spent the first two years of married life on separate continents. I found frequent short visits helped me better than longer ones further apart.