Anyone homesick right now?

[IJumpedAboardAPirateShip]

Haven’t felt this homesick in a long time, not sure if it’s 7 year itch, spent the summer off work and I always lose sense of myself when I’m home with the kids full time (I freelance in a creative industry so have to be motivated to get work), climate change anxiety meaning I feel guilty about taking transatlantic flights, looking at middle schools for next year and freaking out because a) the system is so different and frankly rubbish and b) we were never supposed to be here long enough to consider middle schools. Maybe a combo of all of it.

Reasons to stay (for now) I’m still building my career and want to be able to hit the ground running with work when I return b) DH in a good and lucrative job which isn’t guaranteed in the U.K. c) temperate climate (and heading towards british winter) d) quality of life is good because finances, weather and lifestyle are good e) we just finished renovating our house (although I’ve never set much store in creating roots with bricks and mortar) .... f) Brexit?!?

I just want to go home

Hello OP
I'm sorry you are feeling down ATM.

I do admire you for worrying about your carbon footprint, UK economy etc.

I feel like I'm just crashing through the weeks as we try to keep our heads together.

Your job sounds exciting, though. I also feel a bit at sea when not working. Were you back in the UK for summer?

It's quite tricky to get back into the swing of things if summer has been fun and more care free.

I'm not homesick as such. More...just had enough of the compromise and effort it has taken to just get along here.

DS is having an awfully trying time at school this term. He was pushed over in a corridor and put his hands out to break his fall. He landed on a female classmate and she's accused him of harassment. It was an accident. Other things too. ☹️

We were supposed to have relocated home to UK . DS and I did. DH stayed but was planning to move home before schools started. Packed everything up. Sent all clothes home. Organised a school, finished both tenancies.

Only to come back again. DH wanted to take a new contract. It's been awful. I don't hate the city. I'm so sad our experience has been what it is. We couldn't have done things any differently.

My family seems to have been used as target practice. It's been exhausting and it's worn us down.

So whilst I'm not homesick, I'm very much looking forward to the end of this school year and going back to the UK.

I've grown a very thick skin these past 5 years. We have had some amazing travel adventures, tho.

💐 For you.

I am feeling homesick too. We're going home for Christmas- just a flying visit for just over a week. There's so many things I'm excited about doing when we're back. I'm really looking forward to seeing my friends, eating my comfort foods of home, taking in the culture. My relationship with my family is more difficult but I'm going into this trip with my eyes open and have very low expectations of how time with them will be. I'm hoping no interactions with them will spoil the trip.

The homesickness is also coinciding with itchy feet and wanting a new adventure and to head somewhere new.

But this is a selfish feeling as the kids are happy and we have a good quality of life where we live. What to do.

to you OP and the pp

Hi everyone, I'm also feeling a bit lost right now, I had a trip home at the start of summer and it really brought to the surface how much a struggle with not having friends and family here yet at the same time the gap between me and my "home" community is just getting wider. I've been very unsettled since and just wanting to give up and go home but I know that wouldn't solve the problem as obviously I wouldn't just slot back to how things and relationships where before I left.
Trying to point out the positives to myself and hoping I'll settle back in soon enough

Me too, been here since the start of the year, been all strong and rolling with everything then hubby left on a trip, son got bitten by a stray dog and then got some health related news from home and bam, just hit me, floods of tears. Home, family and real friends seem just so far away.

Floppy it takes a lot longer to settle in a new place than we realise.

I'm sorry that you've had a tricky time.

💐 For you all.

Hope everyones doing a little better this week, I've been trying hard to throw myself into life here instead of dwelling on what I'm missing

I have bouts of homesickness still after 3 years. I like to listen to radio 2 on BBC iPlayer but I’m 8 hours behind the UK on the west coast of the USA. I listen to Liza Tarbuck on Saturdays - it’s on at 10 am for me but it’s evening in the UK and listeners text and email to say what they’ve been doing all day - usually very normal things like Tesco shopping or driving along motorways to visit an elderly aunt. But it all just sounds so comforting and homely. I usually end up shedding a tear or two.

I’m really homesick lately. I’m so sick of the heat (NSW, Australia) and lately the obsessive checking of the ‘fires near me’ app to see if we need to evacuate because of a bushfire.

I’m sick of driving down the middle of the road to give me chance to swerve for kangaroos and I’m sick of not being able to really get into the Christmas spirit because it’s too bloody hot. Even with Christmas in July it’s about 20C so doesn’t work.

We’ve been here 10years now and I’m so miserable. 6mths ago I was fine, probably 3 months ago I was fine but lately I hate it.

I don’t necessarily want to go back to the UK, but I need to be somewhere cooler. Somewhere with more culture and history and somewhere without the risk of killer bushfires every spring/summer.

We’re stuck though as I had to stop work 7 years ago to care for my DW and we’re on a very restricted income. We don’t have property to sell (we’re renting) and unless we win the lottery or inherit a large amount of money we’ll never be able to afford to move.

I don’t know what I can do :(

I am already homesick after 1st week... Now after one month I still am, and not sure what to do.

I felt we left a very good life to come here (southern California) for what? The quality of life, schools education, cost of living, are all worse.

I am not sure why everyone is praising the weather in SoCal, I think it's very uncomfortable. As long as the sun is out, it's so hot and my skin is aching after a few minutes in the sunshine. I was so depressed the first two weeks when there is nothing but just sunny day with zero cloud, felt like a prison. I actually looked forward to the rain!

Culturally there is not much going on. The suburb is so far from the city center - and the city center, for most of it, is very ghetto-like and so many homeless people.

I miss my good old life in the countryside of Oxfordshire, it's easy and comfortable. I miss my friends, I miss our children's school, I miss the politeness.

Oh I miss the good old country pubs... A lazy Sunday walk in the countryside and followed by a pub lunch! can't get anything like that here, it's all very modern dining, and I hate the tipping culture.

And people here really have no sense of humour. Everyone is so short tempered. No-one has the time or the wit to struck a little funny small chat, all the' have a good day' is quickly getting boring.
I don't get why everyone is saying American customer service being great? I have been to several malls now and beside the crowds, crazy parking, all I met with were very cold and robot-like shop assistants - they obviously all hate their jobs.

Today I heard from a friend that someone she knew has 3 jobs - cashiers at 2 stores and waiting table at another. Madness...

Hotchocolatemonster
So sorry to hear how you’re feeling. I have read that it takes up to 2 years for a new place to feel like home. I know for me it kind of snuck up on me and it took about 2 years until I came back from a trip to the UK and felt like I was coming ‘home’ to the US. We rented for 4 years to begin with and I honestly felt so much better when we bought our own house that we could furnish and change to how we wanted.
I have to say though - the US is huge and it may just be that SoCal just isn’t going to be the place for you? I know that we’ve lived in New England for 14 years now and lots of things I love about it are the similarities to the UK I guess. 4 distinct seasons (with a hot summer but proper snow in the winter!) friendly people who love Brits, a more liberal style of politics and they seem to get sarcasm- definitely respond to a more British sense of humor!
When we’ve been to CA on vacation it does seem more superficial (first impressions I know - May well be different living there) - great for a vacation though!
I’m not sure whether you’re tied to exactly where you are but try to get out and visit other parts of the state?
If you have kids at school, a good recommendation is, if you have the time, get involved in the PTO/PTA. It’s a good way to meet other parents and get to know the school/teachers better. I also volunteered in my kid’s school and that helped to.
Sports are another way to meet people, either playing one yourself or getting your kids involved.
One month is a short amount of time, and rural Oxfordshire (beautiful btw!) to SoCal must be a real culture (or lack of it) shock! Be kind to yourself and give yourself time.
And use the time here to explore and try to visit lots of other places across the US- you never know, you may find somewhere else that appeals more?!
Good luck!

@Hotchocolatemonster moving countries is very hard. US culture is very different to UK culture.
Weather wise we should swap, I hate the cold snowy Chicago winters and love desert climates.
But try and focus on the bits you do like while acknowledging that tears are normal and not every move is better, some are just different.