I want to leave, can't do it now, but any advice for the future welcome.

[Breizh]

I am 54. DH is 60. DS is 14. We live in France, we moved here in 2003, before DS was born in 2005. We then moved.to Italy in 2009 and back to France 4 years ago. I love living here but i am living in a totally financial dependent marriage with DH.

There are so many things that make me unhappy and want to leave. On the surface we get on well, but deep down I am desperately unhappy.

I can't leave until DS does his Bac in 3 years time. But after that what can I do? Can I come back to the UK? If I did how would I live? I can work but would i get a job "

I will absolutely not take any money from DH. I have had years of how I have spent all his money, that would be on 4 euro t shirts from Decathalon.

I would rather stay here but not sure I can , especially with Brexit.

Sorry, I posted too soon. Any advice is very welcome. I suppose what I really want is a husband that loves me, but had that isn't going to happen I should make as contingency plan.

Don’t screw yourself over by taking your share of the assets. It’s not HIS money it’s yours jointly. Who cares what he says about it, you won’t have to listen to him ever again.

What do you do for work now? Is it transferable? Could you do some training to top up skills I preparation?

by not taking obviously

Bumping for you @Breizh

I assume he wanted a child too? Don't believe the shite if I've financed you for years, you're entitled to nothing- don't walk away with nothing out of pride and suffer in the long term. You have both benefited from your marriage. If you're leaving anyway- why give a shite if he howls from the rooftop that you're a shrew who went after 'his' hard earned money. He earned it whilst you were a team. If he still ha da good earning capacity, to walk away with nothing is daft. At least consider what share of assets you may be entitled to, to allow you and your son if he chooses to stay with you, somewhere to live.

I agree - don't cut off your nose to spite your face by walking out with nothing. My DM did that years ago and her only option was to marry again quickly, because she couldn't support herself, let alone us as well.

The first thing you should do is get legal advice. As your are permanently resident in France and would prefer to stay there then I would assume that that is what is going to happen. Your separation/divorce will be under French jurisdiction anyway, so go and find yourself a French solicitor and find out what your situation is. And please, please don't be so proud and quite frankly stupid as to walk away with nothing. Your assets are joint - whatever has been earned during your marriage is half yours, whoever actually earned it - so you are entitled to half. Your 'D'H won't like it, but you'd be mad to walk away with nothing at 57 years old. How are you going to support yourself? What about in retirement? Be sensible.