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Living overseas

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Moving to Scandinavia

12 replies

Cashew1 · 18/08/2019 09:29

Does anyone have experience of moving to any of the Scandi countries with a young family? I keep reading about the quality of life, green space and nature, affordable childcare and focus on work-life balance and have to admit it sounds pretty appealing given I'm currently burning the candle at both ends somewhat as a lawyer in London. Copenhagen and Oslo sound appealing in particular.

Did you make the move and how easy was it for you? Neither me or DH speak any languages other than English - would certainly be up for learning but I worry this would stop us integrating and making friends, certainly at first.

Just an idea at this stage but would love to hear anyone's experiences, particularly if you moved with young children.

(Appreciate Brexit may make things trickier in the coming months/years...)

OP posts:
Cashew1 · 20/08/2019 21:04

Hopeful bump

OP posts:
BelleCarig · 22/08/2019 19:27

Bumping

Troels · 22/08/2019 19:53

Have you asked about this in the Living overseas section, you may find people who are living in Scandanavian countries on there.

Smurf123 · 22/08/2019 20:12

I moved to Copenhagen in 2015 - I only lasted a year before I decided to come home but I am incredibly close to my family.
You are provided with free Danish language lessons in Denmark - usually 2 evenings a week.
Generally everyone can speak English which can mean it is difficult to get to practice your Danish.
I worked in an international school but it had a Danish side and an English side.. In general the English side seemed to be a bit stricter, more academic in the early years but that's in keeping with the curriculum. The Danish side was more relaxed in early years but has to be remembered that the Danish don't start formal school until age 6.
Accommodation can be difficult to come by in Copenhagen and is expensive (particular in comparison to Belfast where I'm from). When we moved out of our 1 bed apartment the new tenants were a family - 2 parents and 2 kids but the housing market is competitive so they were happy to get it. Like all places there are nice parts and not so nice parts.. If you have the money, hellerup is lovely plenty of big houses and near 2 international schools (if it was me I'd be inclined to send kids to Danish school where they would be immersed in the language and will therefore be more inclined to pick it up faster!)
Danish govt subside afterschool clubs - it is considered part of the child's education to attend these and most kids go... Lots provide meals, trips to beach / cinema, themed nights etc.
Overall I did like it and we both earned a lot more than we do here but we also paid more for accommodation and food was probably similar.,
For us I was flying home every month to see my parents and we were still hours away from my Danish husbands family so we decided we liked living in ni better... But we didn't have kids at that point and from all of the expats I worked with they said the best way to build a friendship / support network was through kids.
Season passes to tivoli if you live in Copenhagen is well worth it in my opinion for the days out music events etc.

JW13 · 22/08/2019 23:48

It's a long time ago now, but my parents moved to Copenhagen for 10 years and I was born there (37 years ago Blush)... we lived there till I was 3. My parents had lots of Danish and expat friends met mainly through work and genuinely liked it there. Taxes are high but the quality of life is great. My understanding is work life balance is better there (I'm also a lawyer) but I don't have direct experience.

My parents both learned Danish but the Danes' English is so good that they found it hard to practice as everybody spoke English to them! My Danish was better than theirs from my time in nursery. Now I only remember about 20 words but I look back at my time there fondly and loved going back to visit our Danish friends.

Another vote for Tivoli, love it there!

LilyMumsnet · 24/08/2019 09:33

We're just moving this over to living overseas for the OP. Flowers

sonjadog · 24/08/2019 18:57

I have lived in Norway for a long time. You can get by speaking English and in the cities there are large international communities. I would suggest that at least one of you has a job lined up before you go as the cost of living is very high. You also need to earn above a certain amount to get a residency permit.

You will meet people, but it can take time. You will have to make the effort to go out and meet people, Norway is not a society where new people are met with open arms. If you like outdoor living, it is a good place to live. If you like urban life and a social whirl, not so much.

sonjadog · 24/08/2019 18:59

Just noticed you are interested in Oslo. It will be easy to integrate into the British community there. There are clubs, an Anglian church, international schools, etc. there. However, downside is that Oslo is very expensive to live in and if you want English schooling, you will have to pay for it.

tendence · 26/08/2019 20:30

I’m originally Scandinavian, lived in Denmark and Sweden, have lived in the UK for 15 years now, apart from 1+2 years five and nine years ago.

Language wise, you will be fine. Like others have said, everyone speaks English, and you may find it hard to get practice in the language of the country. There are masses of expats in all big(ish) cities, so you can get ample doses of ‘home’ too, if you want to. It is easy to get stuck in those circles though, so I would make an effort to try to meet some locals too. Meeting them through children is a great option, would be easier if you put them in local schools. You will need to make an effort to learn the language, especially, perhaps, if you don’t know any other languages already (always a bit easier when you’ve understood the ‘concept’ of other languages, and how they can be constructed completely differently to English) but it can be done.

The one thing that I now dislike actively with Scandinavia is the attitude that there is ‘one solution for all families’. There is a certain snobbism around the view that ‘we’ve sorted out the answer to women working + childcare + work/life balance, so the world should follow our example now’. So if you want to go for a different solution (for example, if you don’t want your children to be in full-time daycare from the age of 1 (or less – 6-8 months in Denmark), you are certainly the odd one out, and you’ll be considered odd. I had a discussion with an Australian man who’d moved to Sweden to be with his (German actually) girlfriend, and he was saying that he wouldn’t mind being a full-time dad, his girlfriend had a good job, ‘at least for the first 4ish years’. I had to tell him that he would be a very lonely soul: nobody stays at home for that long in Scandinavia, everybody works, and most work full-time, or close to full-time, so he would have nobody to meet up with, and his child would be a lonely soul. And the whole society/funding/taxes system is based on the premise that everyone will work. Unless your spouse earns masses (and that’s hard when taxes are that high), or you choose a very frugal life-style, you will struggle to live on one salary. Childcare, however, is extremely cheap, compared to the UK – obviously since everyone is encouraged to work asap again.

That said, if you can live with this, and like this one solution ;-), you will likely have a much better work-life balance than in London. Especially spring and summer/early autumn are great, people work much less in general, but even more so in the summer; lots of time spent outdoors, and family activities are actively encouraged. Men take paternity leave – in my Scandinavian circle of friends of highly educated men, including judges, doctors etc, all have taken at least 6-8 months of paternity leave. Dads are expected to, and do take a much more active role in rearing children (that is one thing I cringe a bit about in the UK: the attitude I see/sense from some mums that men just cannot be as good as women at caring for children). It would be unheard of for families to have a set up like the one I see of a lot in London; that dads work such long hours that they don’t see (or hardly see) their children during weekdays.

I’d suggest you join an expat group in Copenhagen and/or Oslo just to get a feel for what people who are there right now think, and how they’ve found their feet. Or, if you feel up for it, go for it – if you go soon-ish you’d likely get permanent rights to stay, and it could be an adventure for a while even if you don’t end up staying your whole life.

Good luck!

barnet · 26/08/2019 21:19

We moved to Oslo 10yrs ago, with kids who are now 13 and 11. Yes quality of life is better, less stressful for kids, outdoorsy, clean. Not the warmest of people, and winter is long and dark. Norwegian is easy and everyone understands english. It is expensive, but you earn more. Overall one of the most comfortable places on earth to live, but not the most exciting.

Bouledeneige · 26/08/2019 21:39

My friend lived in Copenhagen for about 8 years in Hellerup - as mentioned earlier. Full- time childcare and a very civilised life. However she was moved there by her employer so was earning tax free with moving allowance etc so they were very well off (renting out their house at home). Her DP was also working.

They had a good time but mainly with other international ex-pat families whose kids were at the same international school - so she had very few Danish friends. They said the Danes are friendly people but a little cool. She has since returned to the UK and feels a little disconnected - not quite belonging I think. She envies how rooted I am in my community.

FruHagen · 26/08/2019 21:57

I've lived in Oslo for a while. I would say it's difficult to get settled without a Norwegian with you, it's difficult to get jobs if you are not Norwegian. I think my career is not what it could be but I accept that because of my kids happiness.

It's not impossible but I think a hard slog.

Work life balance is better and everyone understands that parenting is as important as your job.

Very conformist and difficult to run your life how you want. Agree with pp who mentioned how it's impossible to be a stay at home parent as society think state run childcare is better for your kids than being with their own parents. That makes me angry actually.

Oh and if you like food / cooking / baking then the shops are woefully bad with a fraction of the goods you can get back home for 3 times the price.

Upsides - public services work, people mostly aren't anti social dickheads, there's less of the scammy "computer says no" culture of the UK and there's beautiful landscapes and a very outdoorsy life.

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