I hate it here

[SadInSaudi]

NC so I can be really honest.

I really really hate living here. I'm an expat in Saudi Arabia and it's the hardest thing I've ever done. I've lived here for over two years and I can't see myself growing to love this country. I've lived abroad for 12 years in total and in other GCC countries so it's not like I'm not used to how things are done, but I cannot warm to this place. My DH has gone off to work in a huff because I need to know where I want to go that will make me happy apparently but how would I know that? I work so I do get some variety and structure, I live on a compound and have friends, but I just don't like being here.

Does anyone else feel this way? I've read that two years is how long you're meant to give somewhere to settle in. I was never much of a homebody before but I've spent 12 years away from home (UK) and feeling like I'm missing out, but am I?

Sorry for the ramble, hitting me hard today

I have to agree with PPs. By all accounts Saudi can be a miserable and insulated life for the partner. You're really stuck on the compound. A lot of people who work in Saudi manage to get their families set up in Bahrain and they commute daily over the causeway. Bahrain is a lovely life for a family, particularly for younger children. It's the only way I would do it.

Look, being a trailing spouse is miserable. By and large, you're living somewhere you wouldn't have chosen to facilitate someone else's career. I followed DH to another ME country and reinvented my worklife there, but I loathed it ghastly samey climate, no indigeous culture and no redeeming features whatsoever other than it being a good place to travel away from to see other, more interesting places and said I wasn't staying. We moved to the UK (we're not from here) after a year and a half in total, and now, ten years on, are thinking of moving on again.

I've just seen there have been further replies so will try to address them.

Commuting from Bahrain isn't feasible due to my husband's involvement with the Giga-projects he has to be available for meetings at any moment across Saudi, but mostly Riyadh, so we live here. We're tied in to a compound housing contract until March next year, whereby we can leave if we want to,

I work, so although a trailing spouse, I have managed to create a life outside of the compound of my own which in itself is unusual. All my friends here don't work, have small children etc. I dislike the feeling of living in a gilded cage; having to remember to put on my black abaya, which gets very hot, each time I leave the compound which then gets caught up in chairs/escalators etc (very clumsy!) my hair is permanent frizzy due to the polyester, lol; the driving is terrifying - a friend of mine's husband was killed driving to work; the frustration of not being able to walk anywhere outside due to the heat but mainly because that infrastructure isn't in place (I'm talking about Riyadh, no idea about Jeddah or Dammam); having to structure my day around the call to prayer when things should be closed for 15 mins but it's closer to 45; the constant dust/sand storms which mean I have a permanently sniff (I am not alone with this). I sound very negative don't I? It's not like I'm not used to the ME, it's this country.

DH and I have agreed he'll look at a transfer next March so there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I feel guilty though because this country is a dream scenario for those in my DH line of work, but at what cost to our marriage?