Expat moving again

[flossyjossy123]

Hi all,

So i am in a bit of a complicated situation... I would like some advice. I met my partner who is Czech in UK, I had a house In UK and both had good jobs, however antisocial shift patterns. (He is divorced and has 2 kids in Czech).

We both got offered jobs in Poland by an old manager, for a step down in pay and position. However, standard of living is much cheaper (didn't need two cars, cost of living is less etc etc). So we did the math and agreed to move together - under the agreement that we would do at least a year after that if neither of us liked it we would move back.

I am missing being in UK, mainly due to lack of language as I love a bit of small talk. Also I feel like my career has stalled, used to manage a team of 40 and now basically a computer monkey. Obviously I miss my friends and family, but i have always lived 4 hours away so was used to having to plan and travel to see them.

I would like to move back to UK to try and progress with my career to a certain point before I have kids (I'm 27). However my OH is suggesting to try and find jobs in Czech, so he can be closer to his kids and so at least one of us can speak the native language.

However, I am worried that I will be stuck in a job similar to this (due to language restrictions), in a country where I am reliant on my OH for most of the linguistics and having to move and set up a new life again (have moved every year for the past 8 years and would be super happy to never see another cardboard box in my life).

I love my OH but I feel like I am being slightly coerced into moving..

Any advice would be much appreciated.

You need to learn the local language wherever you decide to live. If you are not prepared to do that you should return to the UK or your life will go nowhere.

It sounds like you and your oh (are you married?) are at different stages in life. If I knew you personally I would be urging you to focus on what you want at 27. You are too young to be making these sorts of compromises.
But it is equally right that he should live as close as he can to his children.
Easy to say, but it sounds like you need to split up.

I'm currently trying to learn Czech, however its very slow going as it is a totally alien language from English! I'm not expecting to be conversational for another 6-12 months

@ArfArfBarf thanks for the reply. No we are not married, only plan for the immediate is if brexit goes pear shaped! Yes I feel its not fair to drag him to UK as he should be close to his kids. But yes, honestly that's not a priority for me...

His kids come as part of the package so if that’s not a priority for you then I think you need to do what’s best for you and him what’s best for him

Moving abroad should never be a coerced move, or you will end up very resentful of your DH.

You should also absolutely not have children in a country you aren’t prepared to live in on your own (ie if you separate from your DH). If you have children in Czechia, and later divorce your DH, you may not be able to move back to the UK with the children as this could be considered international abduction.

Your OH has very valid reasons to move back home, but if i were you I’d move back to the UK. Sorry OP.