Moving with a pre-teen

[reluctantbrit]

DH and I are Germans, living in the UK for 19 years. DD is 11 and born here.

We originally said Brexit is no reason to go, citizenship application is sent.

But, we are starting to have second thoughts. So, the idea to go back is coming up more and more but the biggest hurdle we see is how DD will take it.

Germany is a distant country for her, she speaks German but does not write or read it well. She enjoys being there for holidays and seeing the grandparents but I fear the idea of a move would be causing a disaster.

So, those of you who moved with a pre-teen, how did you manage it? What are the biggest hurdles, what can be done to deal with the fear, anger and frustration DD will have - rightly so.

Nothing is set in stone but I just think it is an avenue I like to explore.

Back in the 90s German unis didn't recognize the IB, kids going to Germany for university did A levels in my German International schools. Am sure plenty can still afford to be fussy.

The German friends and children of friends I know who did the IB in Germany have all been to university in English-speaking universities outside Germany. Quite apart from that being quite a significant decision to make for your DC, there are going to be huge budgetary considerations as well.

If planning to go to German university (absolutely free at point of use) it would most certainly be easier to have Abitur, although there are miriad other options.

Easier 100 % to just do Abitur though.

Does really's DD want to go to university? I find it incomprehensible that a German educated young adult would go to s UK university at a cost of £21000 instead of a German university at a cost of 0€

It will be a lot more expensive to go to a UK university from the EU post Brexit. Could be £90k rather than £21k.

I meant really's daughter obviously.

Do you just have the one child?

I haven't had any problems having my GCSEs accepted as Realschule Abschluss and my A Levels as Abitur, My bachelors degree is accepted as real but carries no weight in Bavaria as a "real" degree is s Diplom (Bachelor plus Masters in one) and a BA is kind of a joke, and my postgraduate teaching qualifications are not recognised at all. I'm doing an Ausbildung in NY r0s which happens to be harder than my meaningless MSc. ...

Gyour DD to get the qualifications for the country she's likely to live in.

It’s necessary to evaluate all education strategies both in terms of “pure” educational/intellectual development and also in terms of the market value and convertible currency of qualifications gained in light of the country in which you reside. I have unfortunately met too many EU passport holders who have done university degrees in the US only to return to Europe aged 22 unable to find work because their degrees do not meet employer expectations and are not really recognized. People can get very enthusiastic about international student mobility but it isn’t always straightforward to convert that mobility into something valued in the labour market.

reluctantbrit not really , autocorrect...

That's interesting turkeyboots. When in the 1990s was that? I did the IB in the mid-1980s and at that point there were lots of Germans at my school, all doing the IB and with no issues in terms of getting into uni in Germany. (If anything, I had more of a struggle in the UK where unis like Exeter still wouldn't accept it).

In any case, my understanding is that German unis do (still) accept the IB but with certain conditions attached, e.g. with Higher Level Maths. But as blueskies points out, it's always easier with the Abitur.

I went to a European school and did the European Bac. We had to do lots of different subjects to make it an acceptable bac for all European universities. I remember philosophy being a subject for the French system.
The IB doesn't work that way and is not automatically accepted in all universities.

If Karlsruhe is an option, there is a european school there...

DD currently doesn’t do German at school, we would have to work with her/tutor her to catch up.

I had bi-lingual classmates and found that in both cases they didn’t really wanted to do the respective non-German one in school as they got utterly bored with the rest of us starting with the basics. As English is the normal no.1 language in secondary I hope a bi-lingual one will help with her not falling.

We already told DD that a German uni maybe the way forward anyway, I am at the moment not 100% sure she is uni material for Germany though, her grades are not the best but obviously a lot can happen in the next 6 years. (Primary wasn’t her best time, she already improved significantly in the last term and a half at secondary).

Having gone the apprentice route in Germany instead of uni i think in Germany she also has more options on the long run. I mean a decent apprenticeship instead of leaving uni here after 3 years with a huge competition in jobs and debt of £60k.

Thanks for all of you sharing your thoughts.

Commiserating as we’re in a similar Brexit boat. Italian DH works for a bank and as it currently stands, from 1st April needs to move to Paris to do his job or be made redundant (and cannot do same job in London).

If we make the move I’m minded to put son in an international school. He’s a sociable boy whose prime concern is having friends and he’ll be downright miserable in a French school where he doesn’t speak the language.

I went to German Uni with Erasmus from the UK. From my experience the German school system is more challenging and requires more in depth knowledge. I would choose international school. My children have been to international schools. They found it easier to adapt plus they could apply to Unis around the world if they wanted.