Having a wobble!

[jellycat1]

Anyone around to give any experience based advice?!
We've been living in the ME for nearly 2 years. Kids having a great time. Husband definitely happier than he was in Uk in many ways. I'm a SAHM here, after 18 years in a high profile financial job. I think I want to go home. We had a family tragedy recently which hasn't helped. Also our older child has started school and whilst it's a fantastic international school, it's massive and a far cry from the small prep school we had their names down for in the UK. Am I just thinking the grass is greener? We still have a house at home so could move back easily. I could most likely also get a similar role to the one I left at the same company. I'm torn. Help!

Poor you. Never easy to up sticks, give up one's career and be the unhappy one when everyone else is content. You don't say where you are but would it be possible for you to get a job in your field? Has your husband got an open ended contract? Or is there a plan to move back in a few years? What deal have you made with him? As for international schools, I know what you mean - it was fine for my child in the early years but not what I wanted for later. Having said that, abroad you would normally avoid the various entrance assessments! I guess my advice is identify what the things you are unhappy with are and see what you can do about them methodically. And then review in a year's time.

Don’t make any big decisions when you are grieving.

I lived overseas for 5 years and no children so different from your circumstances. But I came home and it took me a while to adjust and also to accept how much things had changed! Lots of my friends had moved on, it was hard to get to grips with!

My humble opinion is that nowhere will you find that true and wonderful British education except in UK. There are lots of international alternatives, but nothing as great as that. I’m thinking sports grounds, beautiful buildings, experienced wise teachers, assemblies.

However you can offer DC this by boarding from 10/11.

Meanwhile, be very careful with getting the right decision with your DH; if he has the burden of sole breadwinner and years of hard work ahead, then a good job and enjoyable lifestyle in Dubai is precious and this can often cause resentment to ask to pack in.

For you, get back into your work asap. Whether it’s the transactional work, or financial journalism/lecturing on your speciality, or a regional role with travel to/from UK, get back into it if you love it, before it’s too late.

Jelly
I've made the call, and told DH we are going back at the end of this school year. I can't hack Saudi any more. I don't know if the grass will be greener (well, the physical grass will be!), but I'm festering here and need to get out.
Me becoming a SAHM and moving out here has been brill for DH and the kids. It's been hell for me, and I'm not sure I will ever recover.
There is no answer anyone can give you. But you need to think of yourself sometimes. The chances are you are somewhere more liberal than me, so working becomes easier? 4 years in, and every job I've applied for I'm either over qualified, or no experience when I get rejected after interview (and only 2 applications haven't got interviews). My previous role doesn't exist for a white female out here. I've done loads for everyone else, and sacrificed a decent job (tho perhaps not as high level as you). I need to be on the top of the pile for once, and that means back to the UK for me.

Thanks everyone. Hmm it's difficult to go into too much detail without being outing. We are not in Dubai but not far away. DH not a contract as works for family. Some family here some in UK. So it is tricky there. Whichever we choose, someone's losing regular contact with their grandchildren! If I am honest the main thing really is the schooling and yes it's the whole culture and overall experience of school and childhood in England that I want them to have. The academics would I am sure, be fine. The school they are at is pretty world class on that front. But 150 kids per year. It's vast. And of course there's really very little choice as it's the best one here.
I boarded and liked it, but I'm not sure I could send mine off to do it fully
until at least 13 and I don't want them only going back into UK schooling then. So I'd have to move with them and maybe live between the two places. But i worry that that would be detrimental to my marriage....definitely a quandary.