Anyone live in Tokyo or NYC?

[Girlgoneglobal]

We are currently in S.Asia - and I'm really happy. I enjoy it and after a lot of hard work (from me) have a job and social life. It's easy in so many ways.

Unexpectedly DH has been offered the chance of Tokyo or NYC. It's a bolt out of the blue. I have been to both, and worked for a bit in NYC (when I was much younger and couldn't do it now for various reasons) but not been to wider Japan or the US. We have friends living in or near both. They are both amazing cities, subject to extreme weather and have fab food, drink and culture (all massive pluses for me) with wonderful opportunities for adventures to new places. Tokyo excites me more than NYC for all sorts of reasons I can't put my finger on....

But anyone live in either and love and/or hate it? No kids to worry about.

I've lived in neither, but visited both cities. Similarly, I'm more attracted to Tokyo...

Highly developed, hugely cultural, amazing history, not too bad politically, a lot of great 'stuff' to see in the country etc etc.

NYC is an awesome city, which I adore visiting, but having lived in the US many years ago, it'd drive me nuts living there again now. Especially having lived in other places since.

Hi @Scotinoz thanks - for some reason I think NYC would drive me nuts too. It used to be amazing - house in middle of Manhattan but now we are looking at being housed in 'burbs.

Can I ask you why you think it would drive you nuts? I can't put my finger on why I am not thrilled. I would have cut my arm off for the opportunity ten years ago.

I'm sure I'm going to offend somebody by saying this @girlgoneglobal, but looking back at my time in the US, I think i found a lot of things very 'unprogressive'. And I'd struggle to go back to this.

I found the industry I worked in very resistant to change, or even open to other ways. The majority of the world did it one way, but the US maintained a system that was outdated and inefficient.

Also work wise, things like holidays. 2 weeks is standard, and most don't use this. It's almost like it's frowned up to have a holiday! And although it's not applicable to you, maternity leave, flexible working, family friendly working...they don't exist (in my industry anyway).

Politically it's completely nuts. I lived there during Obama's original campaign, which was really great to see, but it's massively changing. I struggle with a lot of it...gun control, health care etc etc.

I found a lot of people frustrating, in very stereotypical ways. Well educated professionals, with a real lack of global knowledge 😬

My husband and lived in the US for a decade, in both East and West coast cities, and did love our time there. We had the opportunity to return with small kids in tow, and after much debate, didn't go. The more we talk about it, the happier we are with our decision. It's just not a culture/society we'd like to live in again.

Tokyo has never cropped up in our lives, but it seems like a better option. Yes, everywhere has problems, but Tokyo seems more well rounded. That said we have friends in NYC (expats with little kids), who enjoy their life there although the say it's not a long term city.

Interesting to hear what you do in the end!

I live in NY, previously in the city, now with a kid in the 'burbs to the north of the city.

Tbh, if you don't have kids, I wouldn't move to the suburbs! Everything is a drive, geared to families (no bad thing but if you don't have them, it could be irritating) you have a commute etc etc. The things I really miss about the city is decent restaurants and bars, being able to hop on a subway and not be on a train schedule etc etc

I echo a lot of scotinoz's comments about attitudes etc, but then I'm probably in a minority (and some of it may well be driven by the very conservative industry I worked in and the people it attracted) and also prepared to be shouted down

@Scotinoz and @LittleMy77 thank you! The location worries me and what you says resonates. We will see what comes of it....

I'm happy where we are (but it's taken me 18 months) and I think the thought of chucking it all up in the air again makes me sigh a big sigh but equally when else do you get opportunities to experience life in other countries. It's not everyone's cup of tea but I love it.... mostly!

We've just moved to NYC and live in Manhattan with no kids and I hate it. It's horribly backwards (eg postal system, banking, transport) and you have to live with the current nuts brand of American politics.

I would move back to London in an heartbeat if it wasn't for the fact that DH is happy and it's a big deal for him bla bla bla. And you can't step in the same river twice so going back wouldn't be the same. So I forge our life here. That said, I have a friend that moved to Japan following her DP and she hates the sexism over there and the lack of language skills even though she speaks a bit of Japanese already. She also cannot work and feels more isolated than me in NYC, I'm also not working due to visa issues.

Both have pros and cons and it's more of a case of fit and how much of the cons you can handle.

Sorry not a helpful reply from me.

Not at all @sunnyBeach you have basically articulated everything I am worried about! It's good to know I'm not being overly pessimistic I can see DH desperate to go to the States and in my heart of hearts I really hope it doesn't work out....

I have lived in Tokyo now for two years. Moved here with my husband for his job. Previously, we both worked as professionals in the City of London. I'm American and come from Boston. We have two young children and I'm expecting my third.

My experience has been that it is nigh on impossible to find a well paying job here if you do not speak a "native" level of Japanese. Also, if you come on a spouse visa you can only work part time. To work full time, a company will need to pay to sponsor you a work visa.

Since I've arrived I've been taking Japanese language lessons. I've passed 2 exams, but it is not enough to secure employment. Even in Tokyo, many Japanese do not speak English well. The ones that work might, but many of those that you might meet if you are not working won't.

That said, we really like living in Tokyo! It's incredibly safe. We enjoy the culture and the food. We've made a real effort to spend our holiday traveling around Japan. It's a very big place with lots to see and explore. Japan is pretty far from SE Asia. Before I lived here I thought we'd travel there more, but it's far.

I've made most of my friends through the kids international school. Since you don't have kids, I recommend the American Club, where many expats are members and you will meet some people.

Things to consider, are what kind of employment contract your spouse will be on? Is it a local contact? Or expat contact? If a local contact, holiday time may be less than expected. Also, employees are expected to work long hours and socialise with colleagues after work. I don't see much of my husband during the week.

Good luck with your decision!

Hi, live in Japan but not a Tokyo. Been here a long time. In Tokyo’s favour, the crime rate compared to any other large city is just really low, and that makes a big difference to how you can live your life.
You can ALWAYS get a job teaching English, without speaking Japanese, with reasonable hourly rates, often with commuting costs paid and so on.
If you have a University degree and have employment at a company you can apply for a Specialist in Humanities visa for yourself individually, and work full time. The company can sponsor or you can self sponsor if you work for two or more companies part time. It costs less than 100 quid to apply.
The health system is excellent and although the insurance co-payment is nominally 30%, it’s tax deductible and it’s capped so you can claim back anything over a certain amount, etc.
Much cleaner city, polite people, interesting culture and food.
You will get culture shock at some point, but if you’ve been expat a while you will recognize it and deal.

@Girlgoneglobal the huge pros of NY are the fact that it's a massive city and an inroad into the US and I have to admit the professional benefit for DH is already becoming apparent only 3 months in. It will hugely jump his career.

The last few replies show what my friend in Tokyo is going through and the lack of kids and access to all the expat community that offers is really difficult, while the lack of kids in NY means DH and I are living more like we did in our 20s, dinners, bars etc but we also lack access to that "instant community" that comes with having children. It's a toss up of what you can handle. Do you know how long you are going for?

girl would you have a visa to work in the US? If not, I would advise against living in the burbs (again!) I've found it all a bit Stepford wife (and I can't talk given I'm currently on a career break with DS...) tbh in terms of attitudes and what people do.

I've found there's an expectation here (both locally and in the city) amongst Americans that you'll have kids, and thats the way most people here integrate, school PTAs / volunteer stuff is HUGE out here. In the city its less so as there's lots of people from all different nationalities and more 30 somethings without kids