If home is far away, how often do you go?

[Lifebeginner]

I'm currently grappling with how much we should prioritise going home. There are other trips I'd like to take but because home is so far away (15+ hours and 2 flights) it doesn't leave much room for any other travel if we do go. We were only there earlier this year but based on our current plans we either pay the exorbitant amount to go at Christmas, go in March/April and scrap our other travel plans for then, or we don't go at all until Christmas 2019.

Would be interested to know how often other people make the long expensive trip back and whether family get stroppy if you don't

Dh and I are from different continents and we live on a third.
We alternate visiting our parents every summer. The first year we moved overseas we would go home every holiday but after dealing with jet lag and the expense ( and the arrival of dc2) I finally said no. So Xmas and other holidays we encourage people to come to us (first booked gets priority) and so far it is working well. But ILs are getting older now and less willing to travel and we may have to rethink this.

Never! I haven't been back in 2 years and not planning to go back in the near future. I prefer to travel this side of the world (Asia). I'm in touch with everyone via social media and don't feel the need to pay expensive flights, car hire when back, hotel or stay with relatives and then just talk about the same stuff we talk about on whats app & co anyway.
DH has been back a few times as he is a trailing spouse, but it's less frequent now as he says he gets bored drinking tea in people's houses and just goes there to stock up on things we really can't get here to make life easier.

This August will be the 1st time in 5 years I will be going back home. I am taking my 3 ds and dh isn't coming as he has no interest. My parents come every year for extended time and we are nc with the IL. I would like to go more often but it would cost us in the region of $10,000 so its not going to happen.

hmmm. christmas is ok. summer is better, who the hell goes to uk in march/april?

I used to live abroad for 12 years, an dused to come hoe every 18 months of my parents. Moved home 3 years ago and promptly fell out with my mum. Cringe at the money I wasted returning to blighty...... In the end travelling locally i preffered.

Aus to UK- every year since DD born. That’s coming to an end due to school, but I want d her to know her family and then to know her. FaceTime has been brilliant, but doesn’t replace an actual hug from family.

DH is from here so only the kids and I go, usually once a year in the summer holidays, which is Christmas time but we're not going this year. There are other places to see.

I'm in Japan and used to try and go back to the U.K. with the DCs when they were younger once every 2 or 3 years (DH only came once or twice).
Lately, I've gone three years in a row by myself (September time) and then took teen DCs two years ago for grandparents Golden Wedding.
None of us going this year as money is being spent elsewhere.
Hardly done any travel elsewhere either (apart from in Japan)

Someone goes somewhere every year. So maybe we go home, or parents come here or we meet in a third place. That is the whole boiling of them or just me and my mum.

I live about as far away from home as it's possible to be. We generally make the trip back every 18 months to two years.

Every summer (but frankly, I'm not staying here with the possibility of 50C temps and 2 kids, so I'd be going somewhere).
And every other Christmas - DH comes back less often, depending on if he can get leave.
2 flights, 15 hrs door to door.

Every summer for 5 weeks ( I work for 3 of them). Hk is not a great summer destination so I like to ship out. We usually do every other Christmas as well.

Once a year for us but our tickets are covered by work. We have family who go home every two years from oz. I'm not desperate to see UK but will like catching up with family.

I’m from the US and live in the UK. We tend to take a family holiday to see my parents every summer. Sometimes I wish we could just do a normal holiday, like a short haul beach holiday for a week or two, but I feel guilty that my parents don’t get to have a close relationship with my children so I suck it up. It’s just the expense and the loooong journey that make it hard. This year we're flying to another destination first, with the plan to stay for a week, with my parents coming to meet us. Then we’ll drive the 6 hours to their house. I’m hoping that will make it feel more like a holiday, rather than just a visit to family.

Mountainsoutofmolehills who the hell goes to uk in march/april?
I do! We've found that often April is about as good as it gets (having had bloody dismal weather when we've gone back to the UK in August )

OP We aim for once every 2 years back to the UK... now that we've got 4 tickets to pay for and hefty childcare expenses, it becomes a bit more challenging, but we try to go there every 2 years with the family coming out here on the alternate year.

I live one 10 hour and one 2 hour flight away from home and I try to get back two or three times a year - also I'll sometimes meet my family in another country so we can all meet up and have a holiday at the same time - but I'm freelance so it isn't a problem to take time off work, etc.

We have only been back once in 9 years! My parents have been over about 6 times. MIL has never visited.
We have never been made Quilty about not visiting. We Skype once a week and email during the week.
Dh likes to come home ( we call Australia home) when he has time off. We have meet him once interstate which was fun. We like traveling around Australia, our parents like hearing about our adventures.
It’s not like our parents live in the same county , so only spent a week at each last time we visited. It’s expensive to travel back. Our parents supported our decision to move and understand why we did. I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else

Sometimes I meet family somewhere 1/2 way or as it is this summer, 7/8s of the way for me. It gives everyone a holiday. I don't get to see everyone but as I've been out of my birth country for over 20 years, they probably don't miss me.

Every year. It was less when no kids but I did all my Asia travelling pre babies and there's only a couple of places I want to take them all now, we have 5 other holidays I can take them somewhere in, so I use the long summer break to get some cold weather in a UK summer!
Someone from home usually comes out for Xmas or Easter so they see rellies 2x a year. I'm staying here long term (15yrs so far and kids have 15yrs of school to go..!) so I feel it's my obligation to take them to build relationships with their lovely family. But also I like it and fill my spare suitcase with UK delights and cheap nappies

Reading this and pondering the nature of living "far away" from parents etc.

Someone above posted that it takes them 2 flights and 15 hours door to door.

We live barely any distance from my parents, in that its a 2 hour flight. However when you consider:

driving to the airport this end (1 hour)
getting there 2 hours before the departure time because its stressful to turn up last minute with kids in tow,
the seemingly inevitable 1-2 hour delay if you're using one of the budget airlines which are effectively buses,
the utterly ridiculous length of time it takes to get through UK boarder control (why does it take so much longer than our end?) and on the way back security, and simply waiting around to get off the plane and through the airport (a good 90 minute for all the arrival end airport stuff)
the time taken to pick up the hire car (on its own often an hour or even longer)
and then finally the long arsed drive to the parents who live as far as possible from an airport...

The "short" journey often actually takes 12 hours door to door.

We visit my parents once most years, but sometimes skip a year if they've been to us or we've been over for some other family event they've also been at.

Even a short haul flight can be a long drawn out ordeal, and an awful lot more faff and expense and require a lot more expectation management than a real holiday.

I once flew back for a wedding and had more time flying than in country. Three flights totalling 25 hrs each way + an hour or so stop over in Asia + travel to and from airport.
Not doing that with children EVER.

You can't compare a 2 hour flight to a 24 hour flight cat, regardless of the faffing around each end.

We go UK to Aus every 2-3 years. The flight, the jet lag, the cost, it's just too much for everyone.

We are moving home this summer to Aus. DH is Irish so we'll still be doing the trip just in reverse 🙄

When we live outside europe, once every 2-3 years. If within europe, once a year with the kids, maybe a couple of times just one adult or the other for work.

Jesus Cats - what the hell are you doing?!? I mean, I'm a known faffer, but even I can get out of the airport and into my hire car in about an hour with the kids!

Sorry Lego I didn't exactly mean to compare in the sense of saying it's the same - my point was that the actual flight time is only a fragment of the journey.

Disturbing last month we were in the queue for passport control at Stansted for 55 minutes. That's not faffing. I think people minimise in their minds how long all the drudgery of travelling takes - adding it up is too off putting!

We went home after one year then not again for 3 years, then 4 years then we will go again this year after one year.
I cant see us going again for a.few years after this.
I want to travel to other places. While we havent been going to the UK we have been to Asia and have had a ball. This year we want to Hong Kong at Christmas and will probably go to my husband's family, who live in another country, next Summer.
I really would like to go to America sometime. There is only so much money and time and returning to the UK is expensive with car hire etc