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Living overseas

Whether you're considering emigrating or an expat abroad, you'll find likeminds on this forum.

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Original poster

I want to go home

22 replies

AmandaClaire75 · 14/03/2018 13:16

Hi all, I'm new to mumsnet and you are my last hope.

I moved to Denmark 3 years ago for work purposes taking my then nearly 10 year old daughter with me. Things looked promising back then, my daughter learnt a new language and looked to be doing well. I had a new job and it was going well, until I tried to make friends - being a single parent in a foreign country it was very difficult to socialise. 3 years later, I still have no friends and my job has changed dramatically which is not working out for me anymore (I am required to travel to other countries for a few days every month, which I can not do). I have spoken to my boss about it, but the reply I got was "we are all in the same boat and we are required to travel regardless of circumstance". My daughter is now below average on most of her subjects - she was above average before we moved here - I cry most days when I get home from work due to the stress it causes and the lack of support I have, i try to hide my tears from my daughter but I know she can hear me and she asks me if I'm ok.

I am so desperate to move back home to the uk where I have the support of my family and friends around me (I miss them so much).

I have a CV which I have updated, but I was told by a CV reviewer that it is out of date and needs a professional overview.
I know I don't stand a chance of getting back in the job market if my cv is not up to scratch.

Would any of you on here be able to help?

OP posts:

Want2bSupermum · 15/03/2018 00:55

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Denmark isn't the liberal country they like to think they are. I know there are rules in place around supporting children and I'm quite sure they can't expect you to travel if you don't have the support. DH is Danish and works for a Danish company here in the US. I'll ask him tonight.

What sector are you in and what is your broad area (HR/Marketing/Sales/Research etc etc)? If I can help you I will. I refuse to move back to Denmark because as a nation they are passive aggressive little nationalistic arseholes.

Want2bSupermum · 15/03/2018 12:22

DH said to speak to your kommune. They can assign a social worker to your case who will deal with your employer. He also said to check if you are unionized. If you can join a union do so.

Original poster

AmandaClaire75 · 15/03/2018 17:38

Hi, thank you for replying. You are right the Danes are not as liberal as they think they are. I am in AML and sanctions, which is a pretty niche market.

I think I will speak to the kommune and see if they can help me, maybe they might be able to advise me on moving back home.

OP posts:

mixture · 15/03/2018 18:17

Try to get a job with a small company, they might not care too much about the cv as such, only about your competence and if you can do the job. I found an interesting link, will send it in a pm.

Want2bSupermum · 15/03/2018 19:42

The good thing about AML is that the rules are international.

DH did tell me that the kommune staff are scheduled to strike but that if it's affecting your child they will prioritize you.

I know from the work DH has done with unions that they are an excellent resource for employees. They neigotiate very hard for their employees.

mimibunz · 15/03/2018 19:47

An employment or staffing agency could help with CV advice. Can you discuss any of this with your HR department? They might be able to help with options.

ItGetsEasierTheySay · 16/03/2018 17:06

Life is too short. If you are that unhappy, i wouldn’t try to make it work there. Plan your return. send your CV to a couple of recruiters in the U.K. and get their feedback. They should be able to say what needs tweaking etc. Hopefully you’ll find something soon so you can come back home. Good luck!

Original poster

AmandaClaire75 · 16/03/2018 17:19

Hi, thank you so much I did receive the PM, that's a really good call, I'm going to apply. Also I'll look into applying to smaller companies.

OP posts:

Original poster

AmandaClaire75 · 16/03/2018 17:24

I will be sending my CV to UK recruiters, other than the online sites and asking their advice on how to change my cv to suit the jobs I want. I know I will be so much happier when I get home and back on my feet again. You lovely ladies have made me think that I can do it!

OP posts:

babydreamer1 · 16/03/2018 17:36

I have no experience of your industry or Denmark but having hired for professional positions in the past, what I do know is that how a CV is presented actually means very little to most employers, it's the content that we look for. As long as your experience and qualifications are up to date I find it really hard to see how your CV can be out of date? It sounds like you've been given bad advice from someone wanting payment to 'update it' for you. As long as it covers your relevant experience and meets the job requirements I'd get it sent out to UK companies. Best of luck.

mixture · 17/03/2018 14:35

Don't forget to apply for jobs of shorter duration (a year or so) that will give you the opportunity to relocate and a new base closer to home to look for a more permanent job.

Original poster

AmandaClaire75 · 19/03/2018 18:04

It makes me happy to know there are people out there who will give help and advice to those who need it. I have been applying for jobs and sending out my cv and have a meeting with an HR advisor at my work soon.

I'll keep posting to give an update or if I need more advice :)

OP posts:

Original poster

AmandaClaire75 · 27/04/2018 23:03

Just a quick update: I'm going home! I have quit my job and planning to have my furniture moved back to the UK. I couldn't be happier.

OP posts:

HollowTalk · 27/04/2018 23:05

That's fantastic news! So glad you've managed to sort it out.

mimibunz · 27/04/2018 23:08

Great news! Best of luck for the future. Don’t you love it when life works out?

Maria1982 · 27/04/2018 23:09

How brilliant! I didn’t see your first posts but have just read through.
amanda , so glad mumsnet helped you gather your courage and now you are headed home. Congratulations!

Lisette40 · 28/04/2018 00:44

Amanda I'm so happy for you. Glad it's worked out.

Aridane · 28/04/2018 00:53

Bless you - welcome back home

oncemoreunto · 28/04/2018 01:09

Glad it has worked out for you. Best of luck.

ItGetsEasierTheySay · 28/04/2018 06:26

Great news! Good luck with it all!

Goosegettingfat · 01/05/2018 20:55

Just RTFT. Totally understand your feelings and very happy for you. Best of luck!

IndieTara · 01/05/2018 21:32

Op I worked in Recruitment for many years in the UK. Don't worry about your cv too much.
A good recruitment agency will interview you thoroughly to gain as much knowledge as they can about your work history skills and abilities.
Many of them will also get a cv retyped when putting you forward for job roles.
It was not unusual for me to rewrite an applicants cv and orientate it towards each specific job role.

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