Moving to NYC - no DCs - lots of questions

[AcrosstheSea]

Looks like DP's offer is about to become official. Negotiations on package etc will start once he gets goes for the "official" meeting senior people visit. It would be an office transfer, so L1 visa.

Work has hinted that they'd like him there by the end of the year. How likely is that? I would have thought visas would take a few months? Does anyone know how it works? Is my visa processed at the same time, separately? Will I need to stay in the UK while he goes over first?

We are engaged already so will be doing a registry office wedding so I can accompany him.

It's exciting, but where to live?!? We are thinking for the first year Manhattan, then NJ if all goes well. But where in Manhattan, I like the look online of flats in Gramercy, is that ok?

Apartments are small, so people ship their things? We have stuff I don't want to leave in storage in the UK for an indeterminate amount of time.

For winter supplies century 21 always has winter coats in Feb. and you can get sorel snow boots online delivered same day via Amazon. I have a puffer coat that goes down to my knees and is perfect for cold NYC days. You don't need a brand like north face or Canada goose.

Every working environment is different. I worked at big 4 and an IB. Both had horrible atmospheres in my department. I was left alone because I had the status symbols they value.

I left big 4 earlier this year and love my new role. No need for status symbols or that crap. It's very results based which I prefer.

I have lived in the US on and off for 20 years now, and one of our children is a US citizen. In that time, attitudes have definitely changed. When we first moved, we found that while there was a massive culture difference between the UK and USA (it will surprise you once you arrive just how different the two countries are), and this has actually grown over the past 20 years. I am getting to the point where there is very little that I have in common with the Americans that surround me.

I volunteer in a very deprived neighborhood and struggle to understand the social welfare system (or lack of) compared with the religious nature of the country, and the gun violence.

At this point, we have decided that we will definitely not stay here any longer than we have to with DH's job, and that we will be pushing our citizen child to renounce when the time comes.

However, I would say, that having lived in other countries too, the opportunity to live abroad and experience another culture is highly valuable, even if just to make you more aware of what you have at home. I would never regret any of the places we have lived including the USA. Just can't imagine myself staying forever.

ksb where have you been living in the US? I hear you about the lack of security net and the level of poverty here is disturbing.

Thanks @ksb76 @misssmilla1 @Want2bSupermum @OlennasWimple it’s good to hear the experiences of others.

I’m expecting a big culture shock, more so than my friends when I mention the move. It’s like learning a new language.

I’m hoping it will be a fun experience and won’t be damaging to my relationship with DP. He’s a bit worried about the move straining things between us, which I understand. I’ve always worked and now I’m going to be sitting at home for x amount of time until I find a job. We saw friends go through it with an international move and it almost ended them.

Happy to help. It's a big move but honestly you are moving to a great part of the world. Don't complain to Americans about their country. They will hate you for it.

Another thing is for winter gear make sure your coat has a zip and not buttons. Also ear muffs are needed. The cold wind hurts my ears a lot.

No one likes listening to people saying not nice things about where they live and I appreciate Americans are more nationalistic than most other countries too. I’m prepared to keep my options to myself A LOT, about things like health care, welfare and education not because I’m deliberately going to be antagonistic but it’s close to my line of work, I work in the charity sector.

@Acrossthesea The first few months will fly by and a lot of your time will be taken up just getting yourselves and your apartment set up and figuring out "how shit works"! There's a lot of stuff to be bought, sorting out utilities, cell phones, SSNs, bank accounts, drivers licenses, waiting for your shipped belongings to arrive, the ubiquitous IKEA trip etc. Your DH will likely be focused on settling into his new job so you'll have plenty to keep you busy during the day if you take on a lot of the setting in work (you are the "trailing spouse" after all! [sarcastic]). The first couple of months are a whirlwind but in my experience, you won't be sitting around bored.

Try and get your SSN as soon as possible and get your EAD application in as quickly as you can, you won't be able to start applying for jobs until you've got that in hand and it's around 90 days for that to arrive. So resign yourself to the fact that you're not going to be working for at least 3 months. But you've got the whole of New York to explore in the meantime. Not long after we arrived, I took myself into New York one day for a good walk around and easily walked 10 miles just wandering through different parts of the city. That moment when it hits you that you're not there on holiday, you're not a tourist, you actually live there, that's pretty cool!

Just know that what Americans say is opposite to what happens a lot of the time. For such a capitalist country the laws in place to protect the disabled are amazing. Also with education the laws in place to ensure every child has the right to an education are amazing. It's such a more complicated country and it really does depend on where you live as to what your experience is.

We pay a fortune to live in NJ and it's worth it. We live along enlightened people. The amount of support for our DC and the other SEN DC in their public school program is amazing.

It's such a more complicated country and it really does depend on where you live as to what your experience is.

So true. Also note that cultural shock is experienced among Americans inside the US as well. New York City and rural Alabama might as well be different countries. I'm American and there are many parts of the UK where I experience less cultural shock than when I go to some parts of the US.