Atlanta, Dallas or New York

[mowglik]

My DHs company is looking to move his job to one of these locations. The move would be for 2-3 years.

I have a 4 year old who has just started school and a 6 month ds and currently trying for one more.

We've only just started thinking about it, and it's come out of the blue for me. Any advice on which of these would be better for a young family?

I wouldn't want to live in Texas tbh (I live in the northeast). That said, I'm sure there are lovely, liberal, community-minded areas to live outside both Atlanta and Dallas but the gun laws alone - and the heat - would put me off.

If you had a good package and picked a good community in New Jersey or suburban new york you could have a great experience imo. There are a few MNers who live in that area who have good advice.

The most important thing is to check the health insurance your dh's company will offer both generally in terms of coverage and deductibles and also whether it will cover your pregnancy/delivery if you are pregnant before you move.

Will the salary reflect the huge difference in costs of living in NYC? If so, I would pick that location every time because of the wonderful experience you could have there.

(I think you would also have fun in the other places, but NY is a very special place)

Thank you, I do agree with the above, however my DH seems to have his heart set on texas as he thinks we would have a better standard of living (his gold standards are hot weather, bigger house and space and lower costs), whereas I am more interested in living somewhere interesting, cosmopolitan.

If it makes a difference we are not white - I don't know how ethnically diverse Atlanta or Dallas would be.

Re salary i have no idea but if no less than what we are earning now would be a min of $175kish - I have no idea what this would stretch to in NY? His office would be in Times Square I think so would need to be within a reasonable commute

There are quite a few threads on this board that cover the costs of living in commuting distance of NY - prepare yourselves for a shock!

By his criteria, you would be better looking at Texas or Atlanta, I suspect. Are you able to visit at all before making decisions?

Mad as it sounds, I wouldn't even attempt to live in Manhattan on 175k for a family. Or for that matter the pricier parts of Brooklyn or the Bronx.

Like Olenna says though. New York is a very special place, and I'd pick it every time over the others.

What are you looking for in a place to live? City living? Suburb? Apartment? House? Commute time? There are a lot of people in and around NY on this board who can most likely offer some helpful suggestions.

And RE: diversity, I can't speak for Houston, but I've done some work in Atlanta and found it to be pretty diverse. Plenty of representation of different races and nationalities at the events/meetings I attended. Also everyone was LOVELY. Much friendlier than in NY.

They did bitch and moan about the terrible traffic a lot though, so that might be something to investigate.

Atlanta is very diverse. Traffic is bad though. Also housing is pretty affordable especially in the suburbs. If NYC is out of the question I would choose Atlanta but then again I am a Georgia native so not an impartial opinion.

Olenna we probably can visit - I've been to New York a few times and I do like it, but Atlanta and Dallas are the unknown quantities to me. I think we will have to visit before we make the final decision but I did want to hear people's experiences in these cities

Allfurcoat I suspected as much re min salary to live on in New York, and my DH has been saying the same. Ideally we'd both like a house prob in the suburbs but within easy reach of the city centre for commuting.

I'm gutted! as I don't really want to make the move to the US but think I could have made something of the experience in New York

DH has spoken further to his manager and so it sounds more likely now that it will be down to Atlanta or Dallas - I'm guessing cost of living is similar so is it down to weather/culture to decide which of these will be a good fit for us?

There are actually a lot of sites discussing differences between Atlanta and Dallas. Some are pretty funny but there is some good information.

If you are going to Dallas the highland park area is lovely but of course it's very expensive. The issue with Atlanta is that schools are not always as well funded.

I quite like Dallas myself. Both Dallas and Atlanta have horrible summers. It's too hot. You also miss out on the seasons and it's warm in winter followed by boiling hot in summer.

If you are looking for a good size property then I think New York is definitely out, it is hugely expensive and the properties are not big x

Thanks for the comments, we had narrowed it down to Dallas and New York due to work arrangements and have now decided to go with dallas. Hopefully not ruling out a possible move to new york in the future though I can see it would be trickier to manage than a move to dallas! We are used to tiny undersized housing though living in london

Want2b I am looking at highland park, coppell and richardson in dallas now, mainly for the schooling plus commute. The idea of texan summers are scaring me, I find anything over 25c here irritating

I hope you are able to make highland park work. They have such a good family program as well as schools. I also like that it's somewhat of walkable area and you have SMU for student sitters/homework help.

It's 26C here in NYC this morning. I'm sweltering. You spend a lot of time in air conditioning and get yourself a gym membership with a swimming pool. It's the only way.

A friend who lives in Florida says in the summer it feels like they should be putting on astronaut suits to go outside.

I've had a nosey at the areas above and highland park seems great but the demographics may not work for us - very low diversity, I'm not sure how non-whites are welcomed in an area like this and how my son would fare in the schools.

Anyway proof of the pudding and all that! So we are visiting in October/November so I will check out the areas mentioned above (highland park, coppell, Richardson). The houses look amazing everywhere though HP would be the top end of our budget. Any ideas on what we should be looking at to get a feel for these cities?

You should add Plano, Allen and McKinney to your list of places to check out when you visit.

Highland park is very open. Huge gay scene and generally speaking when in Texas I've noticed there are many more hispanics than African Americans. The data on Hispanic populations isn't all that accurate namely because lots of people tick the Caucasian box instead. There are lots of hispanics living in Highland Park. Ive also found it politically much more liberal than other places.

What race are you BTW? It's very nuisanced here and while we live in an area where there are very few African Americans, there are lots of hispanics and there is huge diversity in the school which isn't recognized by official stats. Current class DD is in has 20 children including her. Languages spoken by those in class at home are Spanish, Hebrew, Arabic, Russian, German, Swedish, Portuguese and French. On paper it's not a diverse class because very few hispanics or African Americans. In reality it's an extremely diverse class.

I forgot mandarin and Hindi. We had two children join the class, with parents relocating from Shanghai and India.

From an income standpoint the school stats are that 47% of children receive FSM.

Thanks user. Want2b you're not in Texas are you? I got the impression HP was very very white rich elite, surprised to hear there are a lot of hispanics. As you say, it may be because of the way they identify. As for us, we are mixed south East Asian and muslim

HP is full of families who value education. Their school district is one of the best in the country. It's also home of SMU. The town has its fair share of elite white rich people. What I found from my visits there for work over the past decade is that it's much more diverse than you would expect.

Another interesting aspect about race here in the US is that many Indians don't identify as Asian. Asian is used to identify Chinese origin here. The Indian/Bangladeshi/Pakistani/Middle Eastern groups are in no mans land. Our school district was marking them as Caucasian. I had them add another group to the data sets. It's caused all sorts of confusion!

HP does have a couple of Muslim families. Generally speaking, outside of major cities like NYC, Boston and places like Michigan there just aren't that many Muslims. People are not opposed to Islam at all. Make no mistake about American politics. The 'hatred' spouted right now is lapped by the lower educated groups. It's why I suggest you live in the most liberal areas because my experience has been that they are the most educated and therefore most accepting of others.

American culture when it comes to race is so complex. Remember you are dealing with a country the size of Europe.

And no I'm not in Texas. I live in New Jersey. Supposedly the armpit of America! It's a fab place to raise a family.

Thanks want2b, my priority is ds schooling so I'm not discounting HP yet. I'm genuinely curious as to how we'll be received in the different cities, should make for an interesting couple of weeks when we go.

By the sounds of it from the other thread on texas though seems like we have other issues to worry about too (bugs from outer space! )

But yep, liberal all the way. I've never myself experienced prejudice (that I know of) growing up and living in London, I would hate for my ds to be exposed to it unnecessarily.

They need to be prepared for lots of questions. Very few teachers know much about Ramadan. Religion isn't taught in school. Here the teachers ask parents to come in and share their traditions. I go in every year and share about Guy Faulkes night and a group of us go in at various times of the year to share with the kids the various Jewish holidays.

What I've found in a lot of liberal areas is that they are very accepting of different cultures. The issue is that America is still somewhat isolated. There will be some people you meet who have never met a Muslim. There will be kids at school who will assume your kids are Jewish because they don't eat pork.