If you were moving to New York...

[CustardLover]

With a 4 and 6 year old, where would you go? Assume both parents working in midtown Manhattan. Where is good to balance space with good schools and not being completely skint or so far from town that we never see the children? I have NO CLUE.

There are a few other recent threads on here answering exactly this - I think most of the US ones have been NY focused (there's one Boston one IIRC but it says so in the title).

Chappaqua is where we moved to when I was younger. My DF got the train into the City for work.

There are other threads but their package was $200kish. Is your package higher than $400k?

Try forest hills in queens. Lirr to penn or E/F to midtown east

I would say it depends on what job you'll be doing, where in midtown you'll be located, and what the companies view is on working hours and flexible working, as this will drive (no pun intended...) your commute decision. I worked by grand central and had to leave the office at 4.40 every day to catch a train to get to daycare before it shut, so we didnt have to do the walk of shame.

Its v common for people to travel 1.5-2 hours each way to live further out, where its cheaper and easier to get into a school, but that's usually when one parent either works locally or is a SAHP.

If you lived in the naice parts of Brooklyn (Park Slope, Prospect Park etc - v family orientated and large park in the middle) , it'll take you about 45 mins to midtown. We live in southern Westchester (burbs north of the city) and it takes about 50-60 minutes door to door with the express train and a short subway ride. This is considered a pretty decent commute.

I have workmates who lived over in Jersey City and Hoboken where its easy to get to midtown and rent etc is cheaper than in NYC.

Schools - it'll really depend whether you want public or private. Private schools (of which there are loads) range in the 25k+ a year bracket. Public (equivalent to UK state school) school admission is based on the zone you live in. The local authority HAS to place your kids in the school if you apply - one hand its good, on the other it means lots schools in 'good areas' are oversubscribed meaning they've had to cut back on lots of extracurricular stuff like arts, music etc

One thing I'd consider in your location, is what you will need in terms of wrap around childcare to cover end and start of your day. In the city, lots of places offered this, out in the burbs, its been a bit more difficult to find (altho we have a much younger toddler)

I don't think you'll find many private schools in New York in $25k a year bracket! Most are around $40k a year.

And if a local school is over subscribed, you can be placed in another school in the same district. You have no automatic right to any school, even your zoned school.

There have bern a few threads about this recently - have a good read of them. If it was me i would also be thinking about the holidays - are you taking your Uk holiday allowance or switching to US. I know a few friends who moved to the US - they found covering the school holidays, especially summer, very hard and the mum ended up being a sahm because of it.

My cousin lived in Long Island for 30 years. Originally in Great Neck then Port Washington. At PW she was close to the beach and a community pool and the station wasn't far for people getting into the city.

We've been quoted 25-30k+ a year for private school at pre k / K age, which is the age of the OPs youngest, which is roughly similar to daycare costs, depending on where you are. It then racks up in cost as you go up the grades

In our borough in NYC, they DID place you in your local zoned school. Led to overcrowding, hence my comments

Sorry but 6 years old is already 1st grade and that's full price private school if that's their choice. You can get cheaper if you search in the outer boroughs or maybe catholic school but, honestly, 35-40k or more is normal (the top tier privates are already at 50k!!)

100% I know kids were being bused to other schools in many districts when we lived in NYC because local zoned schools were over subscribed. It's less common in the suburbs but certainly common in the city.

scandelicious don't know if you read the OPs post in full, but her youngest is 4, so pre K age, hence my point. In my experience, it's usually cheaper at pre k as the programs aren't often a full day.

I'm offering info based on our actual experience living in NYC until last year and then moving to the burbs. It was the biggest issue in our Brooklyn neighborhood that the 2 local elementary schools were massively oversubscribed because kids had to be placed there. The proposed solution by the city to this was to consistently rezone the areas which also went dow badly

Of course I read. I think perhaps you missed that the Op has a 6 year old who presumably needs education as well as the 4 year old. I was talking about the cost of full time private school, not part time pre-K.

And, fact is, no one has a RIGHT to any particular school in NYC. You have priority to your zoned school but there is absolutely no guarantee you will get in if the school is oversubscribed. At some point, they can and do stop taking kids and children are assigned to other schools in the district. The op should be aware of this if she bases where she lives on one particular school as there is no guarantee she will get a spot if is popular.

No, I didn't miss that, which is why I gave a range of 25K+ in my original post.

Not sure why you're being so chippy about this; why don't you try and offer some constructive advice as per the OPs original question instead?

What cross streets will you both be working on? Knowing if it's Eastside/westside/downtown will make it easier to make decent recommendations.

Thanks very much for the advice so far, really appreciated. Not sure what the cross street is but the office is in the Rockefeller Centre on 6th so that should narrow it. Re package, at the moment I am tempted to not try for a transfer with work too and just take time out to settle my family (plus I am terrified of no holidays over the school break etc) but maybe that is madness and I will never get back into work if someone has to sponsor me - unsure. Plus, can we afford NYC on one income?!? No idea. So many questions!

Depends on the income. What is your DH being offered? (presuming this is what's driving the move?) Is he being transferred, or is he a new hire? This makes a huge difference.

If he's a new hire, he may be on an H visa, which means you can move over there with him but you can't work (correction: there was a rule change in 2015 which means you might be able to work, but I don't really understand it and it's looking tenuous under Trump, so be wary).

Whether you can get sponsored for your own working visa very much depends on your field. If you move there and find an employer willing to sponsor you (which takes time and costs them money) you may have to leave the US briefly to get it processed at an overseas embassy.

If your DH is transferring, he may be on an L visa, which is much much better. As his spouse, you will be able to work, although you may have to wait a few months and pay a fee. But you won't have to persuade a US company to sponsor you, which really increases your opportunities.

But if you have the prospect of transferring with work, I would seriously consider it, as both parents having independent visas doubles your security. It depends whether you see this as a long-term family move, or just an interesting few years, but do consider what would happen if your DH lost his job. If you had your own L visa, the family could stay out there and your DH would have some flexibility about finding another job (as your L dependent, he could get working permission without a company sponsoring him). But if you're all dependent on his visa, and he loses his job, you'll have to leave pretty quickly. Bit pessimistic, but something to bear in mind when going over your options.