Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Living overseas

Whether you're considering emigrating or an expat abroad, you'll find likeminds on this forum.

Moving abroad with 8 year old. Silly idea?

41 replies

MrsS1990 · 05/06/2017 17:36

Hi I'm 26 years old, single, work part time and I have a lovely 8 year old little boy. Over this last year Id say I've had a pretty tough time emotionally, but it's made me realise I'm not living the life I want to life. If I was on my own, I would just not give anything a second thought and I'd go. But my number one priority is my son.

I have next to no savings. Don't drive. Have a job I am really unhappy in and for many years now I've been wanting To move overseas- Spain or France.

Now the problem is, I'd have no idea where to start.
Is this possible. Are people like me able to just up and move to another country?

Any advice or stories would be very welcome Smile

OP posts:
Lott90 · 05/06/2017 18:58

Thanks for all your replies and advice

Mumchance · 05/06/2017 19:14

It doesn't mean you just have to dream about it, OP, it just means you need to think seriously about whether this is something you really want to do, and, if so, take steps to put yourself in the right position in terms of savings, qualifications, languages etc. If not, think about other ways to change the parts of your life you're unhappy with without moving to Spain or France. You do sound as if you're fantasising about escaping from a job you don't like and recent difficult times...?

Justjibberish · 05/06/2017 19:15

I now feel awful for pouring cold ware on your idea Blush. Spanish school holidays are very long and parents often look for English speaking nannies for the summer. A quick Google brought up this. I don't even know if it would be workable with your own child, but it could be a way of spending a month or two and finding more information.
Don't give up, as a p&p said PLAN, a TEFL qualification is great to have if you want to travel and live in different countries, if you can work in retail you certainly have the patience!

Justjibberish · 05/06/2017 19:16

Cold WATER

CaulkheadUpNorf · 05/06/2017 19:22

I've done nannying in other countries and found it very isolating when I didn't speak the language. Hours were longer than nannying in the U.K., and I didn't know anyone who took children with them. I wouldn't recommend it.

I'm not sure on the rules, but how about a county like Malta where English is spoken?

HighOverTheFenceLeapsSunnyJim · 05/06/2017 20:14

Join the Worldschooling group on FB. It's got a HE slant but lots of advice for people dreaming your dreams!

Lott90 · 05/06/2017 20:51

Grateful for ALL your advice.

I guess there was a bit missing from my story but I didn't want any judgement for it.

Fact is I don't think my life is here.... and I'm trying to figure out ways to get around it.

GlumGum · 05/06/2017 21:09

As a (mostly) lone parent in France, I really don't recommend coming here.
I'm sure Spain would be better, in an area with a large expat community.
Why don't you go on holiday and see how it could work out while you are there?

nooka · 06/06/2017 05:06

We moved with a 7 and 8 year old. Although it's worked out really well in the long run it was massively disruptive for them. Everyone says that children are adaptable, but they are also vulnerable so it's something to think about very carefully I think. On the other hand a friend of mine took a six month sabbatical to travel with their child and they had a fantastic time (and was probably much cheaper than our emigration).

hellokittymania · 06/06/2017 05:52

OK, first of all, yes it is very possible. Brush up on your English and if you have a place to take Celta nearby, take it. You could teach English.

Many families homeschool their children, otherwise, you can enroll your child in a local school. I was in rolled in a local high school in Italy and I really enjoyed it. The language would be a problem at first, So it might be a good idea to find local activities that your son could join in so he could make friends.

If you move to Italy, there are some expatriate groups on Facebook and places like Florence have a newspaper online in English. Get some feedback from these places. Internation's is also a good website to meet foreigners living abroad.

If you have a degree, and managed to get a qualification for English as a second language, you may be able to work in a high school as a lettrice in Italy. Language high schools especially need native English speakers.

pombal · 06/06/2017 06:05

OP unless you are very skilled e.g. Doctor you won't get a job that pays enough for you to support yourself - sorry.

Yes you can get a job teaching English but this pays really badly and nearly always includes evenings as people want to learn after work/school.
You will pay a babysitter more than you earn, ditto bar work.

TheBeastInMsRooneysRoom · 06/06/2017 06:07

We did it as a family. DH has no degree. Applied for a job from UK, got the job offer and we packed up and went! We raised funds by selling the contents of our house and spent 2 months living with my parents to save the rent, rented a new place online. We were lucky, the house was lovely and it worked out very well for us. We've been here for a year and a half and it's been great. No language barrier where we moved to, and we do homeschool which makes it easier to transition for the kids, but if you want to try, you should. We just decided that if it didn't work out, there was no shame in trying. We had little to lose because our family were very supportive and we knew we wouldn't be homeless. That's something to think about. Is your worst case scenario made worse by the move? We worried about jobs ending, landlords shafting us etc. then realised that all of those things could happen in England. It made no difference to the big problems whether we stayed or went. Some things can't be planned for, so why not give it a try?

fussychica · 06/06/2017 10:24

Did it with a 10 year old years ago but we didn't need to work. He was fine, went to a state school, had no problem adjusting and is now a teacher of MFL in the UK.
You can only get away with not speaking the language in tourist areas and even then you need the basics unless you can find a Brit to employ you. Teachers of English are ten a penny around here and, Celta or not, I dont think you would get a post.
Rents on the cheapest parts of the south coast run from about 300 euros a month but are few and far between as many people wait for the result of Brexit before committing to a purchase so are renting instead. The economy is picking up but it's still not good.

I would try to come for a month to two out of season to see if it's what you imagine! After lots of summer holidays in the area we did a month in mid winter to see if it still lived up to our expectations before finally making the move. We figured if we still loved then, we would love it at any time.
Good luck, whatever you do.

PicaPauAmarelo · 10/06/2017 11:06

How about Gibraltar or Jersey? I really really wouldn't put a language barrier in your way. Moving abroad can be costly, but not impossible. I do know someone who moved to Spain to get away from life. She moved in 2008 and she is still there. She has no degree, is no where near rich (she was on benefits when she left) she didn't drive, but her husband did and he moved with her, plus she spoke a little Spanish. She taught English and still does.

It's not impossible, but it's not easy.

Agustarella · 01/08/2017 01:15

Wow, great thread! I'm sorry to be so late to the party but here goes, since I'm in a very similar position to the OP. Single mother of an 8 year old, was renting in UK, now moving to France. Sadik has made some excellent suggestions on this thread, and I now wish I'd actually researched WWOOFing instead of just assuming nobody would want a single woman with small children!

My situation: 40 years old with DS 16 and DDs 12 and 8. Managed to cobble together enough to buy a cheap fixer-upper house in France, which I did just before the referendum was announced, so the exchange rate was still favourable. Not sure if buying a house is feasible for the OP as she has relatively little time to build up savings before Brexit becomes final in March 2019 - assuming that is indeed the cutoff date for free movement, which may or may not be the case. Regardless, I would agree that it's a great idea to 'work/ save as hard as humanly possible', since it's having that bit of cash that will give you options, whether it buys you driving lessons and a van, a super-cheap property or a few months' rent. As for having concrete plans, I certainly didn't, beyond wanting to buy my first place. I think it's natural that we cautious people want to look before we leap, but with big things like a move abroad, there are just too many unknowns, many of which can't be resolved until you find a location, meet people and get settled in. That uncertainty isn't a result of lack of planning, it's just the way it is, so some kind of leap of faith is in order! I didn't really speak much French when I went over for the first time: I think I was on Chapter 8 of French in Three Months, and it had taken me much longer than three months as well, because I'm a lazy bugger and kept slacking off. I just took a minidictionary everywhere with me and hoped people would speak slowly, which some of them did. I haven't moved full time yet because I'm fortunately able to go there for a few weeks, get stuff done, then come back: the kids are home educated and I work from home too, so we have that flexibility. I'm about to move in properly this autumn, and I haven't yet looked for a job, so that's one major area I'm not qualified to advise on. I have, however, noticed that the few unskilled jobs which have come up recently in my village (bakery assistant, Office de Tourisme receptionist, cleaner, factory worker) have not been advertised AFAIK, but filled by word of mouth. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, it just means that you have to get to know people and tell them that you are looking. Most locals have been supportive, as the population is declining and young families are what the village needs. I can update MN on my job hunt if anyone is interested: so far the consensus seems to be that when the factory is hiring they will probably take anyone presentable, even with my crappy intermediate level French. Ditto cleaning work, although agencies apparently want you to have a driving licence. I'm thinking that with a home I own outright I won't need to earn much. Even if I were renting, flats can be had for well under 400 euros -probably closer to 300 if you only need a 1 bed - and the SMIC (minimum wage) is over 9 euros an hour with no zero hour contracts, so it should be possible to make ends meet. For example, a friend of a friend is a single parent, 2 DC the same age as my youngest two, manual job in the factory in the village. She manages to run a car (old rustbucket but still...!) goes clubbing in the nearest city every weekend, makes gourmet style meals (all posted on Facebook, that's how I know) and rents a fantastic huge flat with high vaulted ceilings, which is actually an HLM (social housing). I've noticed that low paid people seem to have vastly more security and a higher standard of living than their counterparts in the UK. No doubt the headline rate of unemployment in France is off-putting, but since all countries calculate it differently we can't compare it directly with the UK, our figures being artificially skewed by zero hours, workfare etc. Please don't be put off by not having a degree: immigrants like us nearly always start out at the bottom, degree or not. I have a very fancy-sounding degree, yet I never got a paid job in the UK above the level of waitress or shop assistant, so I'm not losing anything by going abroad. Brexit is the major worry for recent or prospective expats like us, and had it not been for that I would say 'Go for it!' as I certainly wish I had done at a younger age. As it is, it's anyone's guess what will happen. Given the current state of the negotiations we clearly cannot rely on the British government to secure our rights, though the French may decide to be magnanimous and let us stay. The fact that you and I both appear to have little to keep us in the UK (we have family, but they can visit!) is perhaps a good reason to be bold and seize the moment. Good luck OP, whatever you decide to do and wherever you decide to do it!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page