Advice on being relocated to London w/ husband's job

[cabruhn1269]

I'm four months preg and my husband has just learned that he'll be relocated to London for a one year assignment. I'm hoping to be able to join him if we can find someone back home in the United States to care for our three pets. Assuming this all goes well and I go to London to join him I obviously have many concerns. I've traveled internationally quite a bit and have loved it but relocating is quite different. I'm nervous abou the NHS system; delivering in another country w/ no mom or friends to help me; the whole mid-wife thing; which hospital has the best OBGYNs in London; how to meet other women who maybe in a similar situation being an Expatriot; best place to purchase baby furniture and misc. items; ect. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Sincerely,
stressed out cabruhn1269

can i add my two pence worth.I'm british but was living abroad and came back to the uk half way through my pregnancy.

If you have private international health insurance you will probably be covered for ante natal care, and if you are going to be in London, I really recommend you take it and go private because NHS hospitals are great but it can be incredibly hard to get into the system, be seen by a midwife etc if you come in mid way through a pregnancy. The best would be to go private in one of the main NHS hospitals so you get the best care through the NHS and can bypass all the admin by going private.

I found it impossible to get seen by midwives or get appointments for check ups in the nhs. I ended up in tears at the consultant's office. He took pity on me and booked me in for a scan, and they induced me that day as the placenta had calcified. They admitted that if I had waited for a midwife appointment, the baby would not have survived. The care in hospitals though is good, most of the time.

Are there any major discount stores around the London area for toilettries, ect.? Here in US we have Target, Walmart for instance. Should I plan to bring a bunch of our fav bathroom items to avoid discovering I won't be able to find them in the U.K.?

I can't imagine what bathroom items you wouldn't be able to find here. We do shower and brush our teeth you know .

Most brands are available at supermarkets or at Boots (like Duane Reed but much, much nicer - can't remember if you are from US or Canada).

If there are very specific things you want then bring them but honestly, this is a city of 8m people - I think you'll find what you want or a close approximation to it.

Agree with previous poster re Basingstoke...Winchester much nicer and will also have all the supplies you need.

oops, you very clearly said US in your last post...

Your problem is going to be the exchange rate, not finding stuff. Let us know if there's anything else you need to know.

Check out boots.com and if you can't find the brands then be prepared to bring your key items

There are a few places you can pick up US grocery stuff but it is pricey - a pack of Kraft Mac n Cheese almost 3 GBP!

LOL! Too funny - your response about "we do shower and care for your teeth in England". Never meant to imply otherwise. Certain brand names I'm wondering about like Dove and Aveeno products for instance.

Have you read Naomi Woolf's book on pregancy and birth? I think it's called Misconceptions. There is a bit where she compare the US way of birth with the British and Dutch ways and I think we come out well. She has her own agenda of course, but that's something she's pretty open about in the book. You may well find the NHS hospitals are not clean, and prefer private care for that reason alone.

The NCT is a great way to meet other parents. Most people who live in London have come here from somewhere else, whether in the UK or abroad, so you won't be the only one in your situation.

Definitely bring your own Aveeno - it is harder to get here, range is limited and it is 3x the price

yes both should be fine. Aveeno I have seen I think in larger Boots.

Aveeno is tricky i get a lovely mner from the states to send it to me or get dh to stock up when on business, so bring it over.

How bout' Dove deodarant and hair products? And Crest toothpaste?

Dove is fine
Crest nope

Surely part of living overseas for a while is expereiencing new things? I hardly think that a change in deoderant brand is a consideration!?
You may even find a new brand you want to take home with you when you leave!!

agree with last post.
I think you might want to sit back and think hard about wether you are prepared to make the move. No point coming here and making yourself (and partner) misrable over shampoos and toothpaste (or lack of).

crest used to be sold here - I think it's just changed its name but I don't know what to. Anyway, try colgate. It is minty and has fluoride - just like toothpaste in the US!

cabruhn1269....good luck, and I'm sure things will be just fine...I moved to the UK from the US when I was just over 7 mos. pregnant last year for DH's job relocation. I live 90 min. outside of London and had DD with the NHS. DH's company helped to get us on the NHS system, but we also have private insurance but my pregnancy wasn't covered by it unless major complications due to time restraints.

I, and DD, are just fine and had no major complications but I KNOW I would have had a c-section had I been in the US (my old ob/gyn basically confirmed this too) and I'll always regret not getting one. I had a very long labor, and DD was eventually delivered with forceps and I lost a lot of blood and had a 3rd degree tear. I'm still very traumatized by the birth, but DD is wonderful. If I had of been in the US, I would have had another scan when I was at 40 weeks (if not before) to see what was up and if things were okay, but here I didn't have it. The other interesting bit is that the NHS folks didn't even look at my medical records that I brought over, although I had a problem-free pregnancy so there wasn't much in there. Also, there's not much patient/Dr. interaction...seems like UK folks don't ask the questions or want the explanations like we do in the US...so when I asked questions, they seemed surprised, but in the end, I have only great things to say about the outcome..it's just different here.

I only planned to have one child, and that's good as there's no way I'd have another child on the NHS, but that's just my experience. I would go private next time. However, I want to make it clear that the care was probably okay, but not up to the US standards. I think the midwives believe you're supposed to suffer horrendously here, but that's just my opinion, and remember I had a problem-free pregnancy, but a lengthly, painful OP labor and delivery. I'm referring to the hospital midwives, because the community midwives I saw for my ante-natal appts. were fabulous.

I labored in a private room, but was shocked to be on a ward with many, many other women and got no sleep despite my medical problems afterward. (I had taken a tour of the ward beforehand, but it was much more crowded than I rememberd during the tour.) I was shocked to have to take your own soap, towels and everything. Basically, pack your bag like you're going camping for yourself and the baby...you must be self-sufficient. Also have your DH bring you food to eat, because the NHS food isn't fit for human or animal consumption. I got a sandwich that had rotten tomatoes on it.

The good news is that the UK folks really believe in breastfeeding and helped me until DD and I got it right. The nurses on the ward were fabulous too, but are still laughing at that crazy American woman who had never changed a nappy (diaper) before.

Agree with other MN folks...don't worry about your beauty products here...they have what you need, or you can purchase via Overseas buyers club. Some products are fab....I just miss my hot and spicy Mexican/Southwestern food.

Good luck!

cabr, Basingstoke is fine.
I would email the Basingstoke Natinoal Childbirth Trust - www.basingstokenct.org.uk/
They will have lots of information about the best place to have your baby.
Most women in the UK do not have private health insurance for their childbirth as it is often excluded but we all seem to manage mostly the births we choose. I had my 4th at home by choice and hired a private midwife.

If you want a very medical birth there is no problem with that either and intervention is often needed with first babies anyway. Every new mother in the UK on the NHS has a consultant, OBGYN in charge of her and you can ask to see him if you choose. Most births do not need her or his intervention but that doctor is responsible for you so there is usually no need to worry.

I think the things to decide are what type of birth you want - home or hospital and check if there is any insurance to go into a private hospital. It is not the same as the US. In the UK most people buy into the NHS and in fact I think we have had more lapses of proper regime and checks in private hospital births than in the state NHS hospitals. I am thinking of one case of a mother of twins where things went wrong privately and had they been in the NHS standard NHS checks would have been done. It's not a simple choice that paying makes it a better service here.

A lot of mothers go to pre birth classes at their hospital or a body like the National childbirth trust before the birth.

I didn't see a consultant (OBGYN) during either of my pregnancies and labours. By choice really. I liked my midwives and saw no point in seeing a doctor.
Had my daughter in local hospital. No intervention and 1 overnight stay (paid for an amenity room which meant had my own private bathroom).
With ds planned a homebirth, but in the end went into hospital at 8pm (no midwives for the homebirth), had him at 9pm and left at 11pm.
It all depends hpw medicalised a labour you want/need.
With regards to differences, I know that the UK editions of Vicki Iovine's "Best Friend's Guide to...." books have footnotes that explain some of the differences, ranging from the small (you don't get given clothes/nappies/soap and so on - keeps costs down) to the larger (no routine circumcision of boys, no eye drops at birth, limited use of nursery wards - mothers tend to keep the baby with them all the time in hospital and so on).