Living in america - want to go home

[vetslife]

Having spent the last 9 years in the US, married an american and had 1 DS (2.5yrs) and another on the way I have grown more and more homesick and cannot imagine living here forever and raising my Children here anymore. I live in a beautiful area, lovely people and about 3 yrs into starting my own business .. I should not be this homesick??? But I cant explain it and have no one to talk to, my husband is in theory ok with moving back to UK but it will be hard for him to find work - he is a farmer and farrier - and what if he feels the same in the UK as I do here? I dont know any brits here and the expats from other countries I do know I cant talk to as they r my clients. I cant talk to my parents and give them false hope or worry. Ditto with my old friends in UK. Plus its diffivult to explain if they havent been thru it themselves. Is anyone else in the same boat? surely after 9yrs I should be ok .. DH and I have talked about this but I dont want to harp on and also know we have some responsibilities here for another 2 years at least - I still have have an loan on the business til 2018 and it would be easier for DH if he does a farrier qualification here to transfer to UK system. Also how hard is it for an american to get a work visa for UK? Anyone gone thru repatriating with foreign (non EU) hubby in tow? How did it go? Easy to get visas? My DS has uk passport and Usa and so will the new one. I will get USA citizenship so I dont have to relinquish my green card after certain time just incase... Any help, advice appreciated or just love to know Im not the only one who finds herself in this position..

Crap. Thanks. Yes there has to be a way but I better look into it before doing anything about citizenship. I am a green card holder too.

I've lived in the US for 12 years and have never fully been able to shake the homesickness.
Don't get me wrong, I love it here, we have a great lifestyle and plenty of friends. But ever since my children were born, the ache to have grandparents, cousins etc in their life has become very strong.
After several false starts, we are finally in the process of officially moving back. I will miss the us tremendously for so many reasons but in my heart of hearts I know it's the right move.

I will say that moving back with school age children has been a nightmare. Securing school places has nearly sent me over the edge. I only mention this as it might factor into the timeline for your DC as they start earlier in the uk...

Good luck with your decision. It's been the hardest choice I've ever had to make but ultimately there's no right or wrong decision, it's whatever you make it.

OP , I hope you can fulfil the salary requirements and get yourselves back here. It's good to know your baby doesn't have to pay his way. I hope home will still feel like home when you've got here and settled in.

I read this earlier in the week and wanted to share that it sounds like you are quite isolated. I survive because I have some British friends living here and I am married to a Dane who comes from a more similar culture than American culture.

I would really suggest trying to find some Europeans and Indians to hang out with. My kids go to classes held at the Russian school and art class at the Indian school. Culturally DH and I have more in common with them than Americans.

As for moving back to the UK, check out what the requirements are if you are running your own business. I would def mix this with iron work which is much more lucrative.

Yes I am pretty isolated in a mountain town (lovely skiing ) with less than 10K people. I have a few Scandi friends that I have been a bit reluctanct to dive in incase it made me more homesick - so I am probably isolating myself more than maybe I should. Its good to hear from some of u that say it helps so I will endeavor to be more sociable with them. That said I am also researching more about UK and schools - how far in advance do you typically have to get on a list/register for a primary school? I assume best to move back May/June to be able to get kids in in Sepember? Thank you all - the discovery that mumsnet isnt just pple living in UK, and there are people Out there like me is huge.

Don't be silly! Dive in with the scandi's. The ones that have left Scandi are normally lovely people who are probably in the same boat as you. It can be those simple little things like eating dinner with people who use a knife and a fork.

Schools in the UK are tough and it might actually be a cure for your homesickness. I would call the LEA in the areas you are looking at moving to and ask them.

My experience has been that the LEA are horrible and will give you non-answers with a lot of questions. I have met huge resistance because my son is autistic and I want to know what they need for him to be placed directly in a special needs school. They are telling me I need to move to the area first, have my son fail in a regular classroom, be assessed as in need by a specialist and go through various forms of classroom integration. They told me that I was being belligerent when I told them that he can't go in a regular class because even at the age of 3 he can be extremely violent to other children. Apparently they manage this in regular classrooms all the time....... The conversation cured my homesickness.

I'm not sure whether I'd choose to go back to the UK right now. If Trump does NOT win the election, I'd be tempted to move heaven and earth to be in the US instead. If Brexit does go ahead, I fear that kids growing up here will have even less chances than before.

Wow - sorry you are going through that supermum that sucks. My parents have a couple next door to them that moved back from NZ as they had problems with support for thier autistic son and moved to our area (south somerset - usually not known for great schools) so he could attend a special needs school (state school) dont know if thats an area u were looking at but let me know if so I can put u in touch.

I had a feeling it might be tough to figure the schooling out - I guess I need to figure one step at a time.

Made me laugh about the knife and fork!! I have given up setting the table with a knife at my husbands place now - except for when my parents visiting!! New weeks resolution - make more euro friends. Thanks and good luck with urs. Annoyingly the US election makes me more homesick!! Also do u know how to get iplayer for bbc or itv in USA?!

Unfortunately I am looking to move back to the NW. They don't have much in the way of funding as it all goes on kids in poverty. I am fine with that but the special needs school won't accept DS with us funding him. He has to be sent by the LEA. It is absolutely dumb because we have the means and are willing to pay for him to attend. Instead he has to fail once he starts reception.

Snow Trump is not winning this election. With the way early voting has gone HC has bought this election. Sorry, I've been here too long to see how this all plays out and I am in NJ where even in my town we have politicians buying votes for the Board of Education.

Look into a vpn service / app like Tunnel Bear. It disguises your IP address so it looks like you're in UK (if that's where you want from a drop down list of countries).

I have friends from US who were able to "self sponsor" themselves for a visa in UK, as their particular set of skills were in demand here. It was a while ago, but they both came here first then had some months to secure a job. This was a decade ago, so not sure if that's still going. But worth looking up.

I know lots of people with two citizenships who don't bother filing US taxes because they're not going to be living in US again. As long as you don't start - and enter their system so they're aware of you - it's pretty easy to slip through. But again, all these people don't plan on returning.

Sorry to here that Supermum - thoughts are with you I hope you can get something figured out with him failing. I also hope the move back works out and the good outstrips the bad.

Oh and when you are living abroad just fill out the return and send it back again. If they information is wrong it will only come to light if they audit you. Quite frankly, having dealt with the IRS a fair deal as an auditor I would doubt they would audit you. Incentive payments mean they go after the big guys with glaring inconsistencies.

vetslife I understand your feeling of enhanced homesickness re. the US elections. I'm not originally from the UK and I don't necessarily want to go back to my (first country) homeland. But the vote for Brexit has really made me itch for a move again.

OP - yy to seeking out other expats, regardless of whether they are Brits or not! I have found it helpful chatting to others who have had the same discombobulating experience of moving to this weird and wonderful country - Aussies and Europeans / Scandis in particular, but all can share tales of frustration of getting a SSN, trying to get credit for a cell phone and why the bread is so sweet

Want2 - if only your prediction of Nov 7th had been right...

I'm home sick too and I'm moving back in the summer of next year, I'm not looking forward to full time work again and the rain but I couldn't give a f as I miss my friends terribly and I miss the English sense of humor, no one gets me here and I can't live without fun times and a good laugh over a cup of tea!

In regards to TV you can watch live tv on filmon.com but it's obviously U.K. time but you can upgrade and get a box to record it.

In regards to TV you can watch live tv on filmon.com but it's obviously U.K. time but you can upgrade and get a box to record it.

In regards to TV you can watch live tv on filmon.com but it's obviously U.K. time but you can upgrade and get a box to record it.

Omg. Sorry. It said it didn't post the above, but obviously did....3 times!!!

I have lived in the US for 18 years, married my US hubby in 96, I was very homesick for years, moved back to the UK in 2007, my husband couldn't settle, couldn't get use to the weather after being in SC for so long, also housing costs, so we decided to move with our children back to the US in 2009 before they started school,

But here I am wanting to move back again! My children 11&13 are surprisingly wanting to go (they spent a couple of months in the UK this year with grandparents). My OH is not close to his family, I am close to mine and they are getting older (+cancer diagnosis this year), and I would like to be there for them. I am not sure what we will end up doing its 50/50 , my husband would be happy staying here, its a lovely place to live near the beaches, but we are not in a good area for jobs and you end up being stuck in one due to health care and benefits. So we are considering either a move to somewhere with more jobs and cheaper flights to the UK, or moving back to the UK again.

I rented out our house last time and moved back to the UK, didn't have any tax problems, just filed like normal each year. The new visa requirements are a pain, but I think we could make it work. My biggest doubts are uprooting the kids and worrying that my husband wouldn't settle again (we would move to a different area). I will miss it here too, but life seems to short to be constantly wondering what if...
Decision, decisions..... I wish everyone luck with theirs!

Buster - I use iplayer radio to listen either live or to podcasts and recorded programmes (love things like the News Quiz and Just A Minute). If you get a VPN extender you can also access the BBC, ITV and Channel 4 content online - I found being able to watch things like GBBO helpful to feel in touch with life back home

I moved to the States 4 years ago and have a 3 year ds. I miss the UK incredibly bit I prefer it here even though I have no family support at all.

I've made friends my family and go back to the UK when I can.

To be honest I'm glad I live an ocean away from my Mother though.

I prefer life here despite missing family and friends.

Moved to the US 3 years ago and haven't been back since and don't miss it in the slightest. Our standard of living is so much better.

DH went back for a week last year on his own and said it was so much worse than he remembered. We have a lot of family in the U.K. Still and we will go visit when we need to.

Even if we wanted to move back with the price differences in property etc we couldn't afford to

user Do you have DC? I never missed the UK until I had DC. Now I have 3 I really wish my Dad was close to help me out. Hiring help isn't the same. If my Dad was close he would be popping in and making sure all was well while I was working.

Yes we do, we have some family close by over here though