Leaving sons daddy behind when emmigrating

[wheezie]

Hi, am having a major moral dilemma. Broke up with my 3 yr old boys father year ago whilst in throes of getting a visa to emmigrate to aus. Since we now split up and i wsa main applicant he has to come off the application. I am wiht my new partner, 39 wks pregnant and we have talked abt going (i hate england). But i know my ex will try to oppose it as we would be taking his son with us too. Its so hard. I feel so guilty as my ex has no life other than seeing his son. But then i am like well if i stay here i will be resentful and regret not taking the opportunity. generally my ex and i have a good relationship although this is v contentious at mo. if there was a way i could also get him over to aus to live then i would. Has anyone got experience of this or any advice?

Is he still on the application, how far into the process are you?

If you have been approved then he could theoretically still go. If not then that's a whole different ballgame.

I must say that personally I would not be able to do this. You can always emigrate a when your DS is grown. Your X sounds like a good dad and he has a right to see his son grow up. Just my opinion FWIW.

hi dejags

It is a tough one. Yeah he is a great dad now but when we were together he was quite abusive hence i finally left him. And it wasnt till we did split up that he seemed to take an interest in his son. i know thats in the past though and its not abt that now.

I spoke to my migration agent and apparently if dept immigration knew we were no longer together and hadnt told them, then it can jeopardise the whole visa.

My new baby will obviously not have my sons dads name on the birth certificate so they would find out. If there was a chance they wouldnt i would still try and get my ex to go as my partner could easily get sponsored to work out there. If we waited till DS was 18 would both be nearly 50 and would have no chance.

I appreciate what u r saying though and it if it was easy i would not be in so much turmoil inside.

They will want to know who you are all for the application. Who would you say the men are?

You - Main applicant
Partner - Spouse/other
Ds - Child
Baby Child
Ex Partner...who would you say he was?

I doubt you would be able to get the 2 men in on 1 visa.

Would also be a bit dodgy as soon as they found out your ds & he were related. Because you would have to declare this. Our application asked if we were bringing any children in to the country & were we legal guardians/parents. If you state no, you have to put who is & if they are being taken out of the UK with their (other parents) permission

They are very strict, we found out if we failed the visa application, then even holiday visa would be hard to get. I don't think you are allowed to re-apply either.

I would be very carefull about trying t get your ex-p in. You may well be deported if they find out once you are here. They are very strict.

In answer to your dilemma, well only you can decide what to do. But you & your family must come first. It depends how important you feel your son's relationship is with his dad.