Should we move to Oz?

[nat24]

hi all ive got a little dilema and hope you can help.

My DP is a Plumbing and Heating Engineer and wants to emigrate to Oz at the end of the year. He's all for it and has been looking at Perth, Adelaide, Brisbain and Melbourne. He's on the net every night researching. The thing is im not too sure if i want to go. I just dont want to be that far away from my family. I currently live about 100 miles away from them which is about 1 and a half hours but i dont think i can handle being thousands of miles away. A friend of mine has just moved over to Perth and shes trying to convince me to move too. I just dont know what to do. DP and i will be ttc conceive our 1st baby next month and once the baby's here ill need my mum even more.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

How did you decide what to do?

and

Have you ever regreted it?

I know i have to make a decision quick due to visas etc but its just so hard.

Please help!!

Hi Nat,

I came in 2005 with my DD, leaving DP behind for work and loved it as soon as I arrived.

I'm in Sydney, living on the beach, and the lifestyle is so much better than the London one I left behind.

Having a child has made such a difference, without DD I would probably have carried on globetrotting with work, but I know DD will have a great education here and grow up sporty and outdoorsy. She goes swimming at the beach every weekend, has amazing facilities at her school and loves the animals here - we go to wildlife parks all the time, play with the birds and wombats and cockatoos, kangaroos, wallabies - it's amazing.

The only problem really, as you say, is family. We budget for flying back, it's very expensive and also I miss the proximity of Europe - being able to fly to Paris or Milan - I would have enjoyed being able to do that with DD.

However, we webcam back to my parents, send lots of photos and with regards to travel, you can fly to fiji for a week for $600, inclding accommodation, so it's not all bad!

I miss London theatreland, but we go to the Opera House a lot, see theatre and ballet and sit on the harbour, which is amazingly beautiful and just gaze in wonder at the Opera House and the harbour bridge.

When I flew back to London in the summer I hated it. I hated the rudeness and the greyness and how crowded it was. I did however enjoy M&S and monsoon .

i think it funny when people talk in such extremes - london to oz - its like chalk and cheese

if op is fed up with city life, there are many gorgous areas of britain that are quiet, near the sea (duh its an island?!), lovely mild weather, great food, good value property, and that won't require being 18 hours away from family

my friends live near bridport - near the sea - great organic local food, vibrant arts, both work part time, great schools, three bed house with parking and fab garden cost 165k - family a four hour drive away

city life for me, but there are always alternatives that don't require flying quite so far!

dejags I did not know you were coming to my neck of the woods.

Can't comment as I am an aussie and when I went to the UK to live and work knew it would not be permanent - fours years a dh, dd1 and dd2 on the way I came back with a little more excess baggage As much as I loved where we lived and knew I would be taking my fabulous MIL's only grandchildren - I knew it would be the best decision for us.

It does get difficult when illness strikes. 2006 we learned in June that my gorgeous FIL was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer - no time limit given BUT Dh went for two weeks to spend time with his father. We could not afford for all of us to go at the time.

By Sept of that year his father had passed away. His mother said he did not have to come for the funeral but I told him to go - again we could not afford to take all four of us then and I was in early stages of pregnancy with dd3. Saddened that I never got to see FIL again after we left the UK and that he never got to 'see' dd1 and how far she had come or meet dd2.

BUT again - best place for us and our dds. Dh loves it here and has said no matter what we will not return to the UK to live. THe dds may as part of their right of passage - as a lot of Aussies do. Now there are five of us - despite dh earning pretty good money - it is a long save for us to get back to the UK.

ON the flip side - I had dd1 in the UK - she was very ill when born with a heart defect and needed surgery etc - I needed my mum at that time BUT she was unable to fly out to the UK and my mil was fabulous as were friends I had made. It was hard BUT dh and I were able to support each other through a very very difficult time.

Yes Eids - we haven't decided on an area (currently Indooroopilly is on the list and various other burbs...)

We are coming out to Aus in June - perhaps we could arrange a Brisbane Mums Meetup.

oH out west side!! Deffo organise a meet up now we have a few more and will get onto the others.

We're just back from a year in Sydney and I can honestly say the cockroaches are 100 times worse than the spiders (even the huntsman spider - bloody tarantula).

But the worst things are the telly and the postal service, both far more scary than any of the creepy crawlies...

I grew up in Sydney and am living in Canberra now. Even though I love Sydney beaches and have friends and family there I wouldn't move back. It's way too expensive (well over a million for a house in a decent suburb) and kind of stressful.

I too am way more freaked out by giant cockroaches than spiders.

IME the women feel the homesickness much more than the men. In my HR Career I saw many families who immigrated to OZ temp or perm turn around and go back when their first baby arrived as the mother wanted the family nearby. If you feel so strongly about it now I have no doubt that you would struggle to settle in for the long term.

I love Oz - and even Sydney where I live in a good suburb in a house we bought for under a mill without gigantic cockroaches! But it sounds to me like it isn't the destination that will be the difference but the distance. I would make your feelings strongly felt with your DH before you get too far down the track. It is very expensive to relocate, let alone without having to re-relocate in a short period of time. Maybe you could put it on the 3 to 5 year plan, as once you have gotten through the first 1-2 years of your first babies life you will be a lot more chilled ...

tryingtoleave I always thought I was the only MNer in Canberra!!

We're here for a year and although I'm really enjoying my time in Oz I wouldn't want to live here for good. I'm not even missing my family much but I just feel far away from everything. It's a wonderful country with loads of positives but I just feel that I could say the same of the UK.

I'm sorry but I just don't hold with all this 'country going to the dogs' type of talk. My parents are of the same attitude and I just don't see it. As newgirl said, a fantastic quality of life can be had in the UK. Oz has it's share of problems too and if you're worried about being away from family then it will probably be a move too far.

As others have said, take the long holiday and see how you feel. It could be just the thing you need or it may not be for you.

banamama - me too! I usually just lurk but occasionally I have a posting frenzy.

btw, I grew up a long way from my grandparents and while it didn't bother me as a child, I now feel quite envious of my cousins who had a closer relationship with the gps. I feel like I missed out on knowing them properly.

Ahh, but newgirl, first you have to wait for a nice day to go to the beach, then you have to be first there to make sure you get plenty of room.

Here in Oz, my family have been the only ones on the beach on some days....you don't have to fight for space.

You also don't have to wait for nice days to do it, or wish you can take the kids to the park as it is raining!