SAHMs - how do you deal with visitors

[AnnaMarlowe]

I currently work full time but due to a prospective job move abroad for DH it looks like I'm going to end up as a SAHM of school age children due to visa restrictions.

As we'll be living somewhere interesting I'm pretty sure that we'll have a number of visitors during our time abroad.

I'm looking for advice/experience as to how to manage visitors (some who may potentially stay weeks)?

Do you spend your time as a tour guide? Do you just abandon your routine while they are there?

Any pitfalls to avoid or wisdom to impart?

pink not there but in the US.

We're early in the process so haven't done a reconnaissance visit yet but I'm led to believe our destination city has minimal public transport.

Juneau you are right. If they come to visit us it will be a very big deal to them so I'll do my best to be kind and hospitable.

I have previously hired a driver while my in laws were visiting. I'm working thank goodness and use their visits to focus on work. If I can time my return home for after my MIL has sat on the sofa picking her teeth I consider the visit a success!

It's really hard with my in laws because they do not understand how disruptive their visits are and my MIL likes to rule the roost. My MiL in particular is a PiTA. One year she insisted they visit in Feb. We had snow on the ground which had frozen on top. My MiL nagged my FIL to shovel a path to the back of the house because she didn't like the trash can being at the front of the house. I went nuts and had DH explain in detail that there are lots of people who have heart attacks when shoveling heavy snow. Also I had DH explain that now our house was surrounded by a moat of ice so trash cans had to be kept at the front anyway. They also always manage to break at least one piece of crockery. They insist on hand washing everything because they refuse to learn how to use a dishwasher. Their visits of 3 weeks are just painful.

The longest two weeks of my life was when pil came to stay with us in US as an extention to their SAGA coach tour. Dh hired the pil a car, but fil was nervous about driving it so they didn't go out but sat in the (very small) apartment for the whole time. I didn't drive myself, but was happy to walk/take public transport. Pil just sat at home marking time till dh came home to take them out. Dh took some time off took them to all the sights.

Pil didn't pay for a single thing, and on the last day, when we went out for breakfast and after dh and I had only had coffees, mil announced that as her treat she would pay for breakfast.

Grrr, just thinking about it makes me steam with anger.

The paying of things doesn't bother me. My PIL were in low paid jobs and DH makes an insane income. I don't expect them to pay for anything and if they try to I make sure the money goes back to them. We are very lucky to have the package we do. I'm shocked at the low pay offered now for international assignments.

I think it's important to be aware of our parents and in laws income when making the decision to accept an international assignment. My PiL can't afford to maintain a home big enough for us to visit so we have to rent a vacation home when we visit them. A lot of employers expect you to have family who can host you when you return home for visits.

I totally agree with just being honest about what you can and what you can't do. Encourage people to have an itinerary and pencil in a few things that you can do with them but be realistic and say you cannot do this all the time - ie, put your life on hold to show people around. Help point them in the right direction and keep communicating to them (before they Come) that this is important, and that (if you can) you are happy to help them organize something to do (let's face it Google is pretty good too and it is their holiday), but explain that you cannot always be around to "hangout" with them or whatever. It's crazy and I know some people do just hang out the whole time, but IMO it's not realistic.