Tell me about your first week/month in a brand new country

[feckityfeck]

We were looking over DH's draft contract for a two year secondment overseas last night and it includes the provision for two days leave for DH to 'settle in' to our new country. I've spent a lot of time imagining life out there, including culture shock kicking in, but reading that suddenly made me think about the first week - we arrive, in temp accommodation, most of our stuff on a ship somewhere, DH has two days off then is expected at work while I try to make life good and happy for two jet lagged children.

I'm generally feeling upbeat and positive about the adventure and new places and people, but feeling a bit worried about making those first few days a good experience for the dcs when I'll probably be freaking out a bit myself.

What did you do in the early days? How did you go about exploring all the newness?

Can I ask what country? As long as it's not saudi, you'll be fine. I had a horrendous first 6 months never mind few weeks. But it's an extreme country in many ways that you just can't prepare for. How old are your dc?

Singapore. I know it'll be fine. Everyone says Singapore is a wonderful country to be an expat. Asia-lite apparently. I'm just wondering about people's experiences of that touchdown moment, particularly helping the dc with it. Sorry you had a horrendous time of it, are you still there/how long did you stay?

My dc will be 7 and 5 when we go.

Still here now! Been here 2.5 years, will be back by 2020. First dc due in October and I do not want it to go to school in saudi. It's a few years of short term dislike which will hopefully set us up financially for life so it's worth it to us. Not having dc yet, this is only a suggestion but could you do some kind of research project with them? Do a big scrap book about the town you'll be living in? Something like that to get their interest so they're curious and maybe a little familiar in their minds when they land? Try and find landmarks they've heated about?

Will you still have a property/home in the UK?

On the first day I drove the car before I had time to think/worry about it. Found out where the shops, school and hospital were. Unpacked. Fought jet-lag.

Honestly, it may not be possible to focus on making those first days a great experience for the kids. There will be too much to do and you will probably be driven by essentials- eg: where is the supermarket, how do you get about, legal/visa stuff etc. and you will have no childcare. Don't set yourself or the kids expectations too high. How old are they? Rather get them to "help" you settle in. Each can have a little task/discoveries to make.

We went to Dubai when DS was 5 and stayed in a hotel apartment for 6 weeks with DH away all the time. Driving for the first time was "interesting"! Then school started and I got to know some mums in the same position and things started to slot into place. There was also another English mum with 2 kids in the next hotel room in the same situation, so we supported each other. In Singapore you will be surrounded by lots of other people who have gone through the same as you. My experience is if you ask, people will be very willing to give advice and help.

Good Luck.

Get a local bank account - I've never lived in the far east but in the US and several places in Europe and that's always a job for the first couple of days and not something that is always possible to do at weekends...

We're probably (don't you love big corporations who leave decisions to the last minute) moving to Germany next month with our DDs (6 and 3). Our first couple of days will involve getting a bank account, working out what the commute to school is going to look like for my 6 year old (I'm here 4 days a week already so I know how to get to work) and stocking the kitchen. Then one weekend day will be spent doing something completely touristy and exciting for the girls to help them be excited about their new home.

Thanks. Making it a great few days for the dc is a bit ambitious perhaps. I suppose I want to avoid the situation where the kids pick up on any anxieties I have and react to it and make me more stressed in turn. But I guess focussing on the practicals - knowing where the school/shops/hospital etc. are, opening bank accounts - will help with feeling on top of things.

I like the idea of going to find landmarks we've researched beforehand, and having a touristy day to look forward to once we've made a start on practical stuff.

If you're in serviced apartment then make use of the pool/facilities as they'll be adjusting to the heat/humidity too. There is also an open top bus or duck tour that might be good to give them an idea of their new city. Enjoy we had 7 very happy years there.

A journalist friend who moved to Sing the same time as us posted a link on FB to this article she's written. May be useful.

expatgogo.com/singapore/blog/settling-expat-kids/

If you're in a serviced apartment at first, then it won't be so hard. The biggest thing to get used to will be the heat and humidity - but that's OK, you can just to to the pool every day. And of course you'll have air-con indoors. It's very easy to taxi around the city. Don't take them on long walks as they'll be exhausted by the heat.

There are so many fun touristy things to do in Sing, you'll have a great time. Then when they start school, it will feel different to school in the UK, but there will be loads of newly-arrived kids just like them, and you'll easily make friends with other new-expat mums.

The pool every day sounds good to me :)

Thanks for the link, some good ideas in there.

I've not done it with kids but our first week went like this:

Sunday evening: arrived at hotel at 10pm
Monday: woke up, wandered to mall to get SIM cards. Freaked out at the heat. Met with new boss for a couple of hours and for dinner
Tuesday: at the office for 8am and straight into it. Went for dinner with new colleague.
Wednesday/Thursday: at the office doing full days work.
Friday: weekend. Rented a car. Freaked about at having to drive it (abu Dhabi). Spent 3 hours lost in the city having forgotten where we were staying. Hid in the hotel and got room service as we were freaking out.
Saturday: got a taxi to the beach. Burnt to a crisp. Hid in hotel later because we were freaking out.
Sunday: back in work. Found booze shop in way home, next to the pork shop. Felt much better having fry up and beer for tea.

It took us 3 weeks to start feeling confident in the city, and to start looking for somewhere to live.

Not once did we consider getting back on the plane, but it was tough.

Steve - that sounds exactly how I would have been pre-kids. Determined to hold it together for them though, and for me/DH too, to make it more enjoyable for all involved!

I moved to France alone when I was 21. The first week was awful! I didn’t leave my room and cried all the time feeling homesick. I didn’t need to start my job for another three weeks and felt really isolated.

Then at about 11pm on the Friday I decided enough was enough and that I was going to go out into the street and speak French to someone. I ended up befriending some teenagers on the street and going back to their tower block to play on their Playstation. I do not recommend this as an integration tool, but it was the impetus I needed to realise I could survive there.

I moved to France (so not so far I know) with a 6 year old and a 1 year old. dh had no leave but we just treated it like a long holiday it was fab and some of my best memories are from the start.

I Google all tourist activities for the area. Also found expat groups and a nct type group that did monthly coffee mornings. A yahoo group for expats that I joined and just asked for hints and advice (made a new friend just asking about schools).

We have a dog so took scooters for the children so we could explore parks and woods.

Also found dhs colleagues ( locals and expats) were fab with help with the paperwork, organising bank accounts, insurance etc.

Now we have been here a few years and life is just mundane now; good but not as fun or exciting as that first year.

Look for the fun and enjoy!

beautiful is there any prep you would recommend for moving to KSA? DH there now. I'm following with kids (6 and 4 YR old boys) when house and school confirmed. Cheers.

We moved to Singapore last week (DC 2 and nearly 6). DH also given a mighty two days but he took an extra two (has been a four day weekend for SG50 so that has helped). Today is his first day at work.
Still in serviced apartments and wasted most of first week condo hunting. Highly recommend you sort out accommodation before you come if you possibly can. Now is apparently peak season so even tho' it is meant to be a soft market it has been quite stressful. And not a great way to introduce the kids to our new life.
Other things to consider: if it is rainy (and it has been a lot this last week) then the pool is out. You aren't allowed to swim if risk of thunder.
Google Sentosa and the aquarium, also apparently Kidamaze Safra is good- this is on my plan for this week. And cinemas eg golden village. Take cardis as air con is powerful in there.
Serviced apartments: highly recommend Fraser Suites River Valley. We stayed there for our reco trip and had small mall and supermarket downstairs. Plus decent pool and indoor playroom (if it rains). Currently at Treetops and feel more isolated and no super convenient mall or indoor playroom (or dishwasher or washing machine).
Wish I had packed more Lego and small toys. And sunhats. All is in my air and sea freight which we can't access until we have an address. So more condo hunting...
Story books have been a blessing.
Food courts and malls quite interesting for them.
Bought prepaid (PAYG) SIMs from 7-11 v easily for both iPhone 4 and 6. Last time didn't know 7-11s sold them and trekked around all 'phone shops fruitlessly.
Join FB group Real Expat Wives of Singapore and also Singapore Stay at Home mums (if you are one). V helpful advice on offer.
Tho' no play dates yet offered for my poor DD, she is counting down until school starts and she can meet some kids to play with. I have got to begging level with class rep and on my FB posts.
Good luck with it all.

caramelgirl have you got a real estate agent working with you? If not, get one. If so, get a new one.

First week for us was difficult. My DH went a week ahead and found an apartment for us helpfully ignoring the criteria I had given him

I finished work on Friday and arrived on Sunday, DH started work on Monday. We had a week left in a serviced apartment, during which time I had to buy furniture and essentials for our home.

DS then fell ill and was the sickest I had ever seen him. It was awful and at one stage I thought he might have whooping cough. He also had a toilet training regression and was weeing all over the serviced apartment sofa and rug that wouldn't dry out, until I put him back into nappies.

He is normally pretty relaxed, but had a screaming tantrum when I was trying to shop for beds, after scaling a bunk bed, and I had to pull him off (was also a fab coincidence that I was wearing a skirt and flashed my fat thighs and knickers at the poor unsuspecting shop staff).

But part of the problem was that I only had a week to do a lot of things and DS was sick, while I was carting him all over town. If you have the luxury of a bit more time, you should be fine.

There is plenty to do with DC and in case of rain there are loads of indoor options too.

Good luck!

Yup, just recruited agent #2. Thanks
What would you suggest indoors: I have kidsamaze, amped trampoline, and cinema/aquarium. But would love any other ideas. We have time-ish, but it's the stir crazy factor for older DD tbh.
Sorry to hijack Feckity

caramelgirl here are a few suggestions. feckityfeck sorry to hijack your post!

There are loads of soft play centres. Some are better for different ages than others. Cool de Sac at Suntec should have things to keep both of yours occupied. Polliwogs (also at Suntec) gets a good rap, but I have never been. The City is supposed to be fantastic for imaginative/pretend play, if your kids are into that.

KidStop at the Science Centre is good fun and interactive (if a bit rundown in parts). The ArtsScience Museum at MBS has good exhibitions, but can be pricey (check before going).

If the weather improves, your options broaden considerably. Keep in mind that many outdoor spaces in SG have some kind of water play area, so it's wise to travel with swimmers, a hand towel and a plastic bag. Joseph Ballas Children's Garden at the Botanic Gardens is great for letting them off the leash. The top of Vivocity Mall has water play and a general playground, but not a lot of shade. Gardens by the Bay also has a huge water play area and children's gardens.

While it might seem a bit random, HDB estates always have playgrounds. It's interesting to walk around, have a look at the local shops and eateries, and there is always somewhere for children to play.

Not a hijack at all - it's absolutely what I want to read about - your first weeks in real time!

What areas are you looking at for condos? I can't imagine picking somewhere to live before we arrive, but I can see the benefits of doing it that way round.

Sorry for your stir-crazy dd - shame we're not there already, I have 6 and 4-year-old dds that will need playmates too.

feckity do you know where the DC are going to school yet? You can use that and your DH's office as a way to narrow it down.

DH is going to be at One North. We haven't been to look at schools yet, hopefully will be next month. Just going on proximity to DH's office and my small amount of research, Dover Court or Tanglin seem good, waitlists permitting.

So... Holland Village?

DesertforDessert, we're leaving the UK for KSA in 6 weeks time. Just got our permanent family visa approved yesterday! We've also had accommodation confirmed.
DHs company flew us out for a visit at the end of June, so we knew a bit more what to expect. We're hoping that will help the children settle in a bit better (11 and 12).
All the best sorting everything out!

Thanks v much terroraustralis yes, my entire plan was around waterprks so was somewhat scuppered by weather! Had heard of, but not investigated Pollywogs and only see. Science Centre water park so far and the rest are new to me so that is super helpful.

feckity we have looked at district 10: orchard/ Holland mostly.
Any idea on budget? If so I would look on property guru and input size of apartment, budget , preference- eg condo/cluster house, number of bedrooms within district 10. And then try the same for the river valley district (um, think is 8). Order by price descending and watch out for any obvious outliers- likely to be fake ime.
Then look at some of those developments on the map. Some will be near busy roads so noisier, some you could walk to a mall or the MRT. Some near the botanic gardens or the American club.
Check the size of the condo. We want fairly big for kids' friendship groups. Some prefer smaller and quieter.
We have a fairly hefty budget (looking for a four bed 320m2 and willing to pay up to 4x our rent on a three bed house in zone 2- mostly company funded tbf). And we are still finding it tricky.
I loved Tanglin and didn't click at all with Dover Court but think it is v much personal judging by the varied posts on here.
Tho' given it is short term am now kicking myself that I didn't look for any old English speaking school on Sentosa which I think would be way more fun to live on. And not even too costly.
Will keep you posted. Saw THE BEST condo yet today but it is at the very top of our budget. Preparing a charm offensive for shattered and bored of house hunting husband tonight. Tbf the charm may consist of pointing out that if we rent this we never have to house hunt here again!