Moving to Washington DC - can anyone help? MrsApronstrings...?

[Twirl]

My DH has been offered a posting to Washington DC for 2-4 years and we are trying to decide what to do. We have 2 kids DD 2.6 and DS 4 months. Before we make a final decision we are trying to get as much info as possible about where we should live, how much it might cost, what life might be like for the kids, what the quality of life is like, availability of childcare etc. DH would be working in Washington DC centre but we would be looking to rent a family home somewhere in the suburbs (although never having been to Washington I haven't got a clue where...). If anyone can offer any advice please please please get back to me, we have to decide by Monday!!!

Good tip. I work (currently on mat leave) for an american company so I'm kind of used to some of this. Every year at performance review time we have to do a self-assessment ... I struggle to do about 3 lines made up of gems like "wishingchair had quite a good year" whereas my US based colleagues manage to turn in several pages of shameless self-promotion. I guess we live up to our cultural stereotypes (they wouldn't be stereotypes otherwise!).

But you get competitive mothering everywhere don't you.

What's the housing like ... is it a choice of urban life with the shops, restaurants etc that that brings, but only a small apartment/house; or surburban life with limited amenities but you get a nice big house? Or can you get the best of both worlds (assuming we don't have limitless cash)??! DH will have to get to Rosslyn. Like you, I need to be able to walk around and live somewhere with a feeling of a town, not just a mass of housing with big stores you have to drive to.

Last question for now, DD will be 4 in December this year. What age do they start school? Would it be September 2007 like here?

Really appreciate this ...

we live in a very suburban area - not far from the last stop on the metro. my community is quite unusual - it has houses close together, a mix of town houses and detached (single family) property. I was really scared by the areas further out where you get huge houses forthe same amount of cash but no pavements and literally have to drive everywhere. We were for example shown a house that was 5500 sq feet - our english modern 4 bed had been 1400!!!

Our housing is quite modest by american standards. We have a nice sized house 4 beds, basement, large family room, 31/2 bathrooms, and a finished basement it would cost about $850,000 currently - but is one of the cheaper single families in our area. We have integrated shops, cinema, school etc. porches and picket fences!!
Apart from the slightly over manicured and middle class nature of it its a really good place to live. But not that common. you can get good affordable suburban housing at a reasonable price but not with the feel of an english town. DC i think is very expensive if you want nice housing, good area and shops. I don't think you get good public schools.

I don't think your little one will go to school next year. Kindergaten starts after they are 5 -and its worth noting there is no paid for nursery. ds2 is 4 now and i pay for 5 half days of preschool at a not comparatively expensive place and its $550/month. When you look at places remember also you need to pay a registration fee, the last month up front, and materials fee. It can add up!! Can't wait to get back to the UK next year and lose the expence of that!

Think that covers everything - sorry to be long winded

Not long winded at all - this is perfect. DH went to Alexandria and thought it was great - old town, walkable, lively, etc. But I think we'd be looking at an apartment there or maybe a townhouse. I really can't get my head around not being able to walk places ... then again I guess it's the same with some of the big houses outside of villages/towns around here ... bit it wouldn't be my choice. Your house sounds lovely and gigantic by our current standards ... 3 1/2 baths ... we have 1 1/2!

I just need to get over there and have a look for myself I think. Then again it might not happen. On the one hand they are talking about the kind of areas we should be looking at, discussing visa issues (he's dual UK/US national so doesn't fit HR's usual profile) and have also stopped DH being approached for another opportunity because this in in the pipeline, yet they've not officially made up their minds. Gah.

they are obsessed with bathrooms - two of ours have double sinks- thats 6 bloody sinks to smear with toothpaste!!!

I hope you get to come if you want to, or at least have the choice . Really glad to have done it, I like that i will be able to say i lived in another country (although usa wouldn't have been my first choice), so happy to be taking my little yankee souvenier (sp) home with me

obsessed with bathrooms, and are so prudish in so many ways, yet inexplicably install public loos with half inch gaps around the doors so you can see total strangers at a time you would really rather not ... what's all that about??!!!

pmsl - have noticed this and quite like the fact that my children can feel grown up - and i know what they are up too.

Children playing dressup here wont change in front of each other and go to the bathroom

you're kidding! DD1 will happily strip off to her undies any time any place given half the chance (and it all comes off if she's on a beach). Oh dear, she'll be the weird naked kid.

Agree with the usefulness of the odd toilets for keeping an eye of your children, but I still don't like them. We have them at our head office and I HATE it if we're in a meeting then we all go to the loo ... I've just been having serious discussion with you about xyz and now I can see you peeing ... arghhh!!! Think I'm going to have to get over this.

ds2 has been the wierd naked boy for the last three years - they view allowing a toddler to cruise round the house in a nappy quite trashy. This summer at the pool I had my 1 yr old dd in bikini bottoms only - and got soo many comments about her being topless, being all european etc

A topless 1 yr old??! Have to say that's not being prudish, that's plain weird. That's applying adult behaviours to a child. Makes me feel quite uncomfortable. What did you say?

It will certainly be an interesting experience!

I said i thought a bikini top was inappropriate for a one year old - as well as totally impractical - most people in our community know me - i actually think we are considered some what exotic - either that or mad depends on who you talk to

Hello.
Have had a nightmare few days so sorry i haven't been here. Mama, I haven't contacted you yet, i was compiling my list of (probably stupid) questions . Wishingchair, it could possibly be around March for us now as there is so much DH work has to sort out. He is still in the process of negotiating terms and conditions, but hopefully we will receive a contribution towards pre-school as we will still be UK tax payers (will still receive child benefit too!!!). I had just sorted out pre-school here so am not looking forward to going through it all again. One quick question - is the driving insane in DC and the suburbs?

Wishingchair, I have just received a book from amazon that you might be interested in:
"Newcomer's handbook for moving to and living in Washington DC including northern virginia and suburban maryland" by Mike Livingston. Looks the biz!

Driving here is not too bad - its nothing like the nightmare of Los Angeles where I will NOT drive.

Only things regarding driving to consider is tha you will need to get an american driving licence. We had to do a driving test, written test and alcohol awareness exam, following a lesson.

We also found insurance a nightmare - when we initially got here there were only two companies that would insure us with english licences (wish i could spell that word) and it cost us $2700 for 6 months!!!!!! We had to wait about 7 months to get our test appointments through, and when we got them were treated like 16 year olds who had really expensive cars. As soon as you have american licences use GEICO

Haven't lived in DC but we had the same experience as MamaApronstrings re. car insurance. I think in most (if not all) states, you can drive on a European driving licence for 12 months before having to get an American one, so that gives you a bit of time to get used to how things work on the roads over here. Once we bought our car (before we had US licences), we were insured with State Farm for a year or so then moved to GEICO which is far cheaper but still pricey imo.

And, I was certainly frowned upon for letting my 9 month old potter about at home in his nappy over the summer - 30 degrees & 90% humidity some days & we have no airconditioning but still ds was expected to be fully clothed! Definitely a bunch of prudes round here!

In Colorado you have only 90 days to drive on a licence other than an American one and yes you have to do a re-test both theory and practical as the USA has no reciprocal arrangement with the UK. You should be able to download the equivalent of the highway code from the Washington DC Driver Washington DMV and the bad news it's only 30 days before you're legally required to get a DC licence. And even if you do not drive you are required to get an ID card.
Re: car insurance Progressive will insure you on a foreign licence.Be warned insurance is a lot more expensive here and is done six monthly. Geico may also insure on foreign licence too. We are now with Allstate and have both car and house with them and get substantial discounts.

Alibaldi maryland is similar - technically I think we had 90 days - but they couln't give us an appointment within 6 months!!!

Blimey. I got an appointment straight away for the test. Guess that's laid back old Colorado for you . Was weird doing the theory test just in the room with loads of other people milling around though.

Re the city - we lived with 2 toddlers three blocks from the capitol for a semester. Without a car! The only supermarket was in a 'bad' area, but there was a market nearby, with farmers' market on Saturdays. And a few chemists, bakery etc. I found the security thing scarey re muggings etc, but there were many police around, more now I believe. There was an elementary school which seemed fine, also 2 co-op playgroups, but for different agegroups which was complicated. It seemed people lived in the city with one child, more than one they moved to the suburbs. Museums, zoo etc. are brilliant, great places to go for quick breaks. Dh goes to Washington as often as he can - I'd only go back with my now teenagers if we were in Maryland or Virginia.

Good grief, this driving thing sounds very complicated. How did you all find out about this? Did you have someone help you settle in or did you have to muddle through?

Twirl - that book sounds fab. Think I'll order it ... is it good? Or maybe I'll wait till I find out if we're definitely going or not. Or maybe I'll get it anyway. Having a decisive day clearly

Sorry, when I said "how did you all find out about this", I meant how did you find out about ALL of this stuff. Not just driving licences and insurance! You know, schools, banks, bills, etc etc.

mostly after we got here, and mostly by mistake...found out about a lot of the car stuff as we were buying our family car...nearly fell over and died at the insurance quote - but what could we do.. we had moved here by then.

we arrived 30th dec. early evening with about $1500 in cash and the rest of our money in some e transfer - we literally walked into the first open bank we saw and opened an account.

Am not thinking at this point that we knew very much or were exceptionally prepared!

The bank account thing was less dumb than it sounds we couldn't open an account until we had an address - so that explains that

Wishing chair, we bought this book in preparation for our move over here. It has lots of helpful info about all sorts of things -sales tax, visas, banking, taxes (federal, state, sales etc), buying a car & insurance, schools, finding a home and, most importantly, obtaining a social security number without which we couldn't do anything. I read it countless times before we moved.

The rest we found out mainly through our many mistakes or by 'happy' accident- eg laws regarding the sale of alcohol (e.g. in Connecticut you cannot by alcohol on Sundays, bank holidays or after 9pm on a weekday but in Illinois you can buy it any time, any where), where to find the value of a used car, how to get a phone line organised and so on. I really recommend it. HTH

Top tip from mamama. You must get a social security number. I don't have one as the visa I have doesn't permit me to work. So to get a driving licence I needed a letter from Social Security saying I was entitled to a number. You need the SSN to get bank accounts, mobile phone contracts (pay as you go okay) in Colorado so maybe the same in DC. Also for financing any purchases you need a Social Security. Bankingwise. If you can open an HSBC account in the UK they will transfer money across the pond without charge. And they don't charge if you use your ATM card in a different machine over here. We're with CHase now as it's local and they same okay too.

Get a realtor to help you find rented property. Give them your brief and they'll do the leg work for you.

And no we didn't have anyone to help us, learnt as we went along. If you need schools DC should have a website and all the stats are published on there. Helped me pick the county to live in here in Colorado. As I think of other things will add them too.

Thsi is great you guys - really really helpful.

About the school stats - what stats should I be looking for. We've been looking online and was expecting to find something like the ofsted reports we get here but can't find anything. The only stats I've found tell me about teacher:student ratio, ethnic mix, number of computers, and that's about it. How do I know if a school is performing well or not?

Thanks again!!