Want to move to London - Help me convince DP!

[Flowermum]

I want to move to London some time within the next year. However I have a problem: DP.

I'm living in Dublin, from Cork but never wanted to move here. I had planned two years to move to London but DPs dad got sick so he wanted to move home to Dublin to be near him. Of course as soon as we moved his dad was fine and we ended up barely seeing his parents adn I was stuck in a job I hate hate hate!

SO now we've just had a DD and I've decided I'm not going abck to horrible job. DP has agreed he'll move if I do all the organising so this is where I need help. Here's a list:

1. Where in London is a nice place to live? WE don't want to be out in suburbia (eg his sis lives in Sidcup ant thats too far out for us).
   WE don't have a lot of money but would like to live in an area with nice shops, restaurants etc.

2. How does he go about finding a job? He's training as a CAD technician and wants to specialise in 3D presentation (or something!).

3. AS I will probably not ber finding a job straight away how do I go about meeting people? Should I join a group? Do a course? I'm 22 so often don't fit in

4)Even though we'll be doing a trial period of a year, should I try to enroll DD into a school/nursery? She's 5 months now so it'll be a while before she needs to go to one but here I'm already too late for most schools to get her in so I tend to panic about education!

5. IS this crazy?

Please share your wisdom!!!

A

Yeh! Bit more positive now! (plus an order of stock I've been waiting for has just come in so am a bit more upbeat)

Blu, Dublin is ridiculously expensive. It defies belief really seeing as it doesn't have the same sort of amenities London has. The property market drives everything here and everyone depends on it. Don't get me started!

DontBurnMeImJustATwiglett a colour coded chart? How did you know I'm a dumb blonde? Brilliant! Thanks for your suggestions, very constructive!

Poppynic you're right about DP getting established, I think it would be great for him. He's becoming more confident now. I usually am the ambitious one but had a huge knock at end of pregnancy involving a co-worker and lots of bullying so am not as good as I used to be, for eg the thought of sitting in an office with other people working to targets gives me panic attacks. (And also makes me mad that one mean woman could make ME feel like that

London's great! We just moved BACK after a dreadful year in Hertfordshire.

Come to West London (technically I'm actually in Middlesex) because it's lovely and there's a really great group of MN-ers who meet regularly.

I've made several friends already, been out for dinner twice and we only arrived end August.

Obviously, it's not cheap. We've got a lovely 2 bed victorian terrace with garden about 10 mins walk from the river and it's over £1k pcm in rent

But there's cheaper to be had if you look around.

Good luck and come on over, you'll be welcomed with open arms.

No good advice, just support.
We'd love to move to london too

Hi Flowermum, I'm in almost the opposite postion to you in that we're planning to move from London to Dublin (slightly reluctantly on my part).

A big difference between London and Dublin housing is that although Dublin property is more expensive to buy the rents are actually extremely low, far lower than mortgage repayments would be on the same property, whereas in London rents are usually the same or a bit higher than mortgage repayments would be. In absolute terms it's more expensive to rent in London than Dublin. You also have to factor in things like council tax and travel (which is hugely expensive even if you buy a monthly or annual travel card, eg a monthly zones 1-4 is £120).

Also London is huge, I mean really big, it freaked me out when I first lived here until I started to think if it as lots of individual towns that join at the edges. So where you live will depend on some extent on where your dh is working as it can about 2 hours to cross London in the rush hour.

Is there anywhere else in the UK that you might consider living? There are lots of other places that are both multi-ethnic and bustling, Birmingham springs to mind or possibly Brighton.

A slight thread hi-jack Flowermum, but you've got me a bit worried about schools now. DS is 2.4 and we're not moving back until late 2008/early 2009 and I haven't done anything about schools yet, should I be worried? We don't even know where we're going to be living yet (most likely Rathgar/Churchtown/Dundrum on the Luas or Sandycove/Dalkey/Killiney on the Dart) so I'm not sure whether I should be applying all over the place or waiting until we get there.

Yes, I was thinking of Brighton. I don't know much about England yet, don't enjoy London, but really liked the day I spent in Brighton. I imagined it as a staid old holiday place but it's a university town, full of arty types, got that fabulous sea air, very happening now, and is only about 1-2 hour train ride to London. I don't know about work opportunities but I would check it out.

I second poppynic - move to Brighton! I would never want to live in Dublin again even though I grew up there and my sister lives there. I went from Dublin to Sydney (adored it), met DH so went to London (hated it with a vengence - it is SO unfriendly), after 18 months we moved to Brighton and spent 12 year there - fab place, friendly, good schools, beaches etc. and 50 minutes by fast train to London so easily accessible if you crave the bright lights. Ironically we are all (three kids later) just about to emigrate to .... Sydney.

Brighton is JUST as expensive as London

You might really struggle on 14k per annum for a family. The cost of living is quite high. You would prob get more on benefits!!!

But it sounds like Dublin is even more expensive than here.

Mind you, on that much money, you may not be able to turn your nose up at the suburbs..... Even in the very cheapest areas, that rent will only just get you a one bed flat. You may even just get a one bed in Sidcup?

Sorry, taken a long time to reply.

Lived in London (very central) for 8 years pre ds. I now live abroad due to dh job (Vienna ), every time I go back to UK I like it less & less. The few times I have been back to London it has become a real culture shock, I can't imagine bringing up a child there.

Sorry, that may sound a bit selfish..just how I feel...

Hmm no sign of Flowermum. Do you think she's done a bunk off to London already?

Wouldn't fancy London these days either with a dc. Think I'd prefer Berlin TBH. Do they still do all this "Kiss the hand, lovely lady" stuff in Vienna?

No I haven't run away already, just forgot my sister was coming to visit for a few days and had to rush to the train station to pick her up. Whoops!

Brighton sounds nice too, hadn't thought of there.
FizBangWhooooosh thats interesting that you moved back. DPs cousin lives in west london middlesex actually. She's coming over for a visit in a couple of weeks so I might opick her brains. Though I haven't told our families about this yet so...

Bran I would seriously seriously start applying to schools now. My DD is five months and we're possibly too late for many of the schools round here already. Even creches when I was pregnant had min one year waiting lists for babies. Argh! Anywhere on the DART or Luas will be more expensive and in demand but for some reason this area (down the road from Sandycove/Dalkey/Killiney) is very very popular. Don't mean to panic you but... Get his name down! There aren't enough school places in many areas of Ireland at teh moment and some people (in extreme circumstances) like DPs boss has haad to put her kids in private school as there were no places in state.

GoingQuietlyMad I'm really not turning my nose up at teh suburbs! I don't want ye to think I'm a total snob, I just wanted to be close to teh city because now I live in the burbs and hate the trek into town.

I think I;ve pretty much decided I want to move from Dublin, I've just had a lot of bad experiences here and would like to leave now... It's just a question of where to!

Sorry, flowermum, my comment did sound a bit sharp!

I understand the desire to be more central. It's prob just a sore point living the burbs myself.

It is so so expensive in London that I feel this is all we can afford, but tbh with children I feel more at home here. schools are good, low crime and lots of families.

but if i were younger/moving in for the first time I might aim higher?

Just on the expense side, I heard a survey the other day that found that London was in the top three most expensive cities in the world - I think Tokyo came top and London second and can't remember third (but it wasn't in the UK).

It was probably New York Poppynic, another place I'd love to live for a while.

OK so I'll admit it, I have champagne taste and beer money!

Gosh, my spelling in the last few posts is awful! Sorry about that.

So basically we're saying here that it's very expensive - renting and general cost of living, but exciting, lots of buzz and possibly won't be too ahrd to meet people with DD in tow. DP will have to look hard to find a good job and be prepared to travel a bit every day. Brighton could be a good alternative although quite expensive too.

Should I think of another up and coming city to start with? Or is it silly to move around when you have a baby? I love Edinburgh, have been to visit a few times and DP has some family in Birmingham.

Posts will be a bit fragmented over the next few days, my sister is visiting and after looking at her bebo page and some text messages I've discovered she's meeting up with boys who are a lot older than her, skipping school and hanging out with the wrong crowd. And there was me thinking I didn't have to think about this for another few years yet!

Come to Birmingham- its a Fantastic city!!

birmingham

property rental for NICE flats/apartments/houses is nowhere near as expensive as london.

You wouldn't happen to be a bit biased there tiredemma would you?

THough it could be a good alternative... DPs brothers girlfriend just moved back to Dublin from there last year and misses it terribly. WE haven't gone public with our (my) plans yet so can't ask her but soon... oh yes! Soon...

Still having little sister problems so might not be back for another few hours. Oh!

Read somewhere that Moscow is the most expensive city in the world these days. I can easily believe it. Mind you don't think Flowermum was considering it...

Do you have friends in London you could stay with for a couple of weeks, have a ferret about and just check the place out? If you're going to London, now might be the time before the dc start school and have firm friends etc

SSSandy, that was teh reason why I wanted to go now, before DD has friends etc. Until then I was justplannin gon keeping her away from other kids just in case she becomes too friendly. NOt really... she'll be fine!
And ah Moscow.... Nope!

Will talk to DP in more detail after the weekend when I get rid of my sister. Oh I can't wait! I don't want to have to deal with teenage tantrums for at least another 12 years!

Is Birmingham rent much less than London? BUt what about things like parks/things to see/shops etc? Have never been so no idea.

Gosh Birmingham is sooooo much cheaper to rent- what type of property are you looking to rent?

shops/parks etc- have a look at the link!
we have got the BULLRING with loads of shops including Selfridges- The Mailbox with lots of swanky bars and restaurants and Harvey Nicks, - Museums, art galleries. Sutton park is the largest park in europe, cannon hill park etc etc.

I used to hate bham, I moved away when I was 18 overseas and came back when I was 22- in that time so much had changed- for the better. Its a fantastic, multicultural city with tons to do. Some lovely houses aswell- georgian, victorian, edwardian ( a few 1960's tower blocks- but they are coming down!!) and swanky new apartments by the canal.

have a look at that link!