Should we return home? Advice needed!!

[Robin0369]

Having a bit of a dilemma deciding whether to return home or not. We are currently on a two year secondment in Sydney that is due to finish shortly. We have two pre-school children - one whom is due to start school in September (if we return to England). I'm confident that we'd get her a place at our local primary if we return early May as they have quite a few drop out usually. If we stay longer (for a few more years) I think it will be tough to get her a place and she may need to go wherever we're offered a space and will involve a few school moves which concerns me as she's my PFB and fairly sensitive. Also, we'll have another child due to start school and find a place for in 2 years. Not so keen on private - we are just outside London so big demand for school places.

This concern aside we are really happy here. Both have great jobs and good earning potential. I'm working part time in a industry of very few part timers and would prob return to London as a stay at home mum as so hard to get part time work in my industry. I am so present in my kids lives here and that makes me really happy. Added to this we are expecting a third DC later this year and I feel confident that I can keep working very part time through it which is very helpful for my mental health.

I don't however see us being here forever - I think it's great for now but would like to transition back to England in the next few years.

I don't know whether we should just bite the bullet and go now as it seems like a good point to do it for my eldest or take a chance and do it when we feel ready to return home and hope it works out for the best with schooling.

Also, am I mad to think I can do all this on the other side of the world away from my family and still remain sane? If we stay here I will have 3 at home for 6 months as school starts in Jan. We have preschool etc but not 5 days. I'll also get some help prob in the form of a nanny so I can keep working. Finally, it will massively upset our family in England and I'm not sure I can deal with the fall out...

Such a hard decision. If any one has any advice or experience I would be so grateful as it feels almost beyond me to make a decision either way!

I don't think you should let worries about schooling affect your decision in such a big way. With regards to getting a place anyway.

We have been here seven years now. My girls are 8&11 and we are going back in a few months. They have always known this was going to happen at some point and although they are going to find it hard for a while settling in, they have had a great experience here.

I am concerned about school places but there is nothing I can do about it until we are actually there. I am also very concerned about how far behind they are going to be.

I massively preferred very early years (Kindy- 2/3) Australian school
to the uk system. And even the most popular school in the uk has places come up out of years. Family at home pressure is difficult and in the end the reason we returned- not that they pressured us but that we felt we were all missing out and missing strong family relationships.

OP, I wouldn't worry so much about the schools as decider, as savoy says.

< Waves at savoy in massive derailment.>

savoy, if your DDs are on track in literacy and numeracy, there'll be no problem. The difference we and our DD saw when coming to Au was how knowledgeable she was about the world, as opposed to the rather blinkered view of many of her friends. Not a stealth boast. What I've seen time and again here is the effect of UK secondary schools starting year earlier. They are more worldly-wise, but not more mature.

The Aussie effect is to extend childhood a while longer.

All the best.

Having seen how well my DD (reception UK) has settled in this year I would HATE to have to uproot her and move her away from her friendship circles. Such an important part of school life I feel.

Kids make snd break friends very easily, heck adults do, I wouldn't stay or move for either personally

What does your husband want to do? Or is entirely up to you?

The dilemma will stay with you for a long time. If you move back you'll question whether it was the right thing to do, if you stay same thing....I'm afraid once you have 'left' your first life you won't ever be completely sure if what you are doing at that time is right or could it be better if you'd moved/stayed etc. I've learnt that since I became an expat and I think I'm finally learning to live with it and enjoy the moment, enjoy the life and not question whether we should stay or go. Sorry that doesn't help much

My children never went to school in the UK as we left just before DD started so my comparisons are only with friends kids - but very generally...Oz schools are more relaxed, you can take term time breaks, you can drop in with a forgotten hat and there's no drama, parent help is welcomed all the time, no such thing as lunch box police (except nuts) and the best one is being in the catchment means getting into the school- I'm not sure I could cope with the rules/admissions of the UK state system to be honest now I'm so used to it here. I do agree with what echt said, childhood does seem to be longer in oz and for me thats one factor (there are loads ) keeping me happy here for now although longer term I would like to live in the UK again.