Giving birth in the US vs UK?

[Fannibal]

DH, the DC's and I will be moving to the US at the very beginning of April (visa approval pending)

I will be 29 weeks pregnant with DC3 at this time.

Does anyone know how different the whole process of labor/delivery is in the US, anything I should be aware of or things they don't offer in the US that they do here? Obviously aside from free health care!

I'm really nervous about it, my biggest fear being my sister not flying out in time and having to give birth alone as there will be no one else to look after the DC's.

Any advice, experiences would be really appreciated

Yes, BFing - the day after delivery myself and another lady both shuffled along to a little office where the feeding consultant watched us feed to make sure we had sorted latch, that baby was getting milk etc.

As it happened I was struggling due to previous surgery so she spent hours with me, got me nipple shields, pump - all without me having to ask for assistance upfront.

I went home with DD1 and a free Medela pump and set of bottles. I felt very supported wrt breastfeeding. My DCs' pediatrician was all for it too and really useful when questions came up (sore nipples, etc).

The tax issue for US citizens is a pain. I'm a dual US / UK citizen and have to file a tax return every year which is a total pain. Even though I don't have to pay any US tax I still have to file for it. I also have to travel to the US on a US passport, that's the law.

My mum gave birth to us in the US in the 70s and she had to go through the whole legs in stirrups thing BUT I don't think you can generalise births in the US and more than you can births in the UK in terms of positive /negative experiences - it all seems a bit of a lottery!

Are you planning on staying in the US permanently? Will you all apply for citizenship at some stage?

Haven't read the thread but I had my first two in the UK (busy London teaching hospital) and my third last October at Morristown Memorial in New Jersey with a midwife practice.

My US experience was fantastic - wonderful antenatal care, amazing modern hospital, great post-natal care (was appalling in the UK!). I had dreaded it as had a very negative view of US maternity care. It was my second vbac (first was an emcs).

I had a private, en suite room with a bed for DH. I stayed the two night standard as it was relaxing and lovely. A dedicated nurse would check regularly and expected to change nappies etc (I did all that myself, much to their amusement!). Hospital provided newborn nappies, clothes, blankets etc and a huge range of things like witch hazel pads for my stitches. A post natal massage the day after I delivered and a 'celebration dinner' for myself and DH. It was like a hotel and perfect and cosy for welcoming our third child.

My advice would be research your options - eg can you access a midwife or would you prefer an OB? You will probably need your notes from your last births so get them before you go (though I managed it all via email with my old hospital). Would you like a home birth? (quite a few of my friends and family have had ones in NYC and NJ - home vbac is illegal in NJ or I'd have done it myself!).

Check hospital policies (eg some of my nearest hospitals still have nurseries and take baby away for first hour for tests etc - I hated the thought of that so chose my hospital accordingly).

The U.S. system is as good as you make it - you have options and are your own best advocate. If you meet an OB and don't like him/her then change to another (same is true when looking for a paediatrician for your older dc). Be aware of your co-pays, for antenatal, birth, postnatal and newborn care. All of ours added up to about $800.

Find out if where you're moving has a local message board or facebook groups you could post on for recs on OBs or midwives.

Childcare is always stressful for older DC. Can you have someone fly over to stay until you have the baby? Or else get a temp nanny, eg for a few months until baby is here. Or hire a doula and have her come with you while DH stays with kids.

Good luck! It is exciting and stressful so please post as much as you want. This board was a great support to me when we moved 2.5 yrs ago.

Your experience sounds lovely Flip .

We are hoping it would be the start of a process to a permanent move as we are on an L visa and company are willing to start the green card process asap. As to whether we'd get a gc before our time runs out is anyones guess.

Thanks for all of the input, there were definitely things brought up I hadn't even considered. Really appreciate it

I think if you're planning on staying that makes the legal side simpler!

My mum stayed in the US longer than she'd really wanted to so that I could be born there and have dual nationality like my brothers, she didn't want me to miss out. Apart from the tax issue, I'm really grateful to her :)

sorry to ask another question but don't want to start another thread.

How do we go about renting an apartment if we have no U.S credit history? I've spoken to a couple of places today who both said in that case we would probably be declined . Not sure what expats are expected to do in that situation!

Just to say I've lived abroad for many years now and have never found the tax or reporting issues burdensome at all. You have to be pretty rich before you have to actually pay anything, otherwise it's just a couple forms to fill out. If you are really low income you don't even have to file. On the other hand, having the option to go back to the US whenever I want is pretty sweet. So I think it's great your DC will be dual nationality. They can easily renounce it when they're older if they want.

Its not easy but best way is to find a place on craigslist that is a private listing. Offer to pay two months rent in advance and explain your position.

Another way is to sublet - again go on craigslist.

Third way is to get a credit score. Have an amex card before you leave and transfer your account over to the US. I had my account with them from the age of 19 so when I moved here at 25 I had 6 years of credit history plus a huge credit limit of about $15k.

Fourth way is to have your employer sign the lease and you sublet from them.

That is where your DH's company should really step in.

You need to get banking sorted and the company should help you with this. They really should also set you up with some sort of temporary accommodation.

There are a few other threads currently on Living Overseas with advice about that same question.

Here's one.

I had two kids in the States. The first was an elective c section ( breech) and the second a c section because I'd already had one. From what I know, these are some differences for vaginal births. First, there are no midwives, you have an OBGYN who will hopefully be there for the birth, if not another OBGYN who is on call. The labor and delivery nurses are there to assist you up until the point of birth when the OBGYN takes over ( of they take over in the case of complication). Hospitals do not offer gas and air because of insurance risks. I learned this when I was taking childbirth classes. Epidurals are widely available but they certainly do not push them on you.

There will not be anyone visiting you at home ( like a midwife) after the birth. Providing your baby is healthy, you will bring him to a two week check up. Doctors will inquire if you wish your newborn boy to be circumcised in the baby unit. This is much more common here.
Other things, general hospital care is excellent. You may stay only a day if you've had an easy birth or over 4 days if you've had a C Section. There are lactaction consultants who will help you with feeding and each hospital has a baby clinic where you can go and get the baby weighed before the 2 week check up. There are generally facilities at the hospital where you can rent a medical grade breast pump.
Hope these help. My experiences were really positive.

on renting, if you have a good income and can pay an extra deposit it might still be okay. there are plenty of expats on the east coast, you'll find a way. does the company have any kind of relocation assistance? you can ask them if they've had other expats come over to work for them, perhaps they can tell you how they managed.

Advice on renting. If you have an employer, then they should be able to give you a letter that will attest to your being able to pay a rent. That is what I did when starting out as an expat here. Regarding credit history - when you open a bank account talk with the bank, they will most likely agree to giving you a credit card with a small limit ( prob no more than what you have in your account). This is what I did and I started to use it and thus built myself a credit history, fairly quickly.

Another thing. There are differing health plans, your coverage will change depending whether you take a PPO plan ( Preferred provider ) or a Healthcare Management Plan ( also known as a HSA I think). It is all quite complicated so be sure to get it explained properly to you by a pro, either the broker who is selling you the plan or HR at employing company. It will mean great differences in your co-pays when seeing a doc, which docs you can see and which hospitals you can go to.

Another thing. Check your insurance to see what they cover. I my after having my 2nd did I find out that a night nurse would have been covered under our plan.

Also check if you have an sos plan. DH has something like this and they pay all the copays which means our healthcare is free. These plans are for expats only and originate from HQ for DH.

Best of luck, Op! Like many others have echoed above, giving birth in the US vs the Uk is like night and day. My US birth was like an extended stay in 4 star hotel vs the near third world conditions of a sweaty post natal ward in a UK hospital. No comparison whatsoever.

Vag I kept calling the hospital the hotel when I had my dc3 in New Jersey. It was amazing! I cannot fault the care I had in London (and I will always love the nhs) but wow, it felt amazing to have a baby and have actually tonnes of one on one support and care in private, relaxing surroundings.

WTF??

If giving birth in the UK was like giving birth in the 3rd world why the hell didn't you go private if the NHS wasn't good enough for you.

And I don't recall any other PP likening it to a 3rd world sweat shop.

A private UK hospital would be just as good as a private US hospital.

Haven't given birth in a 3rd world to have first hand experience. What I do know is my friends who had babies in NHS hospitals had their oh bring in food so they could eat, there was no nursery for your baby so they struggled to rest as they were trying to also care for their baby and having 8 women with 8 babies in one bay was a recipe for disaster. My friend told me her DH kept washing the bathroom because understandingly it was filthy.

However I do know from my own experience I had a nursery to help care for my baby, a clean bathroom and food that was top notch. They even had a bf friendly menu.

Given the choice I would have a baby in the us hospital over one in the NHS hospital anyday.

You can't tar all NHS hospitals with the same brush.

No but right now you are coming across as having a huge chip on your shoulder and it isn't attractive.